Published March 24, 2011
Over-exposed film and sun-spotted
photos bring you to mind
adventures imagined
before we die:
Italian wine and the countryside,
bare feet and shaded eyes-
A stringed instrument,
laughs and smiles,
Simple love to come for miles.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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141,399 Literary Works • 674,389 Reviews
Hello there. This is a very nice piece of poetry though it does not have any particular rhyme scheme but the flow is really very good. It invokes raw emotions and makes the reader feel whatever is written there. You have great talent my friend. Now you just have to give more attention to the punctuations. And i think that this thing could have been a bit more longer. Try writing more of it then it will look better and more appealing. It is simple and it is great.
This was not much of a helpful critique but i had to say what i felt.
Keep writing.
Hi there, Shadow here. Well, first of all, I love how it's short and sweet. It's romantic, and sort of cute in a way. My favorite part:
This is very charming, as is the rest of the poem. I love the way this isn't about anything in particular, just random things that you love--memories. Like I said, it makes it charming. This is unique, and it's amazing. Keep up the good work. If you need me to review anything else for you, drop me a link and I'd be more than happy to take a look at it! Best of luck.
~Forsakinshadow~
C'mon, really? I just wrote a whole damn poem about all this "untitled" nonsense. :p
The first stanza needs punctuation at the end of the second line. Otherwise this was a charming poem that gave a nostalgic, potentially sad, tone at first but developed (like a photo?) into something nice.
Hello Kslaught. Here to lend a review for your poem.
First off, I think that your poem had some lovely points. However, I feel this poem could have also used better structure. There were places that seemed a little disruptive as I was reading.
There doesn't seem to be any real solid pattern her in rhyme or metering. This first part was a bit off balance.
I liked this part a lot, I think it sounded pretty. But again, it just doesn't fit with a pattern. The part before it set no solid scheme for you to follow through with. So the same pretty much goes with the remainder of the poem. It may be something you could seek to fix so that it all flows a bit nicer.
This was also a charming little part, the above two lines. I enjoyed your choice of words and the way you put them together in order to set a distinct mood. I feel this poem could be a lot better if you put forth some editing. But I respect the simplicity of your words. Good luck with your writing.