Young Writers Society

What do we need time for? I can't answer that. Its a good poem, really serious. We should live in the past but in the present and revel in the future. I guess time is a life short-lived and all that's left behind are memories. Neither painful nor loving, but cherished. Maybe that's why we need Time. Keep writing and hope you find your answer!

Knight Dragon, here to review on this glorious Review Day!

Technical first:
"People still remember the day they got married", there should be a period at the end of this line. It's a complete thought, and it bowls over into the next line rather awkwardly without its proper boundaries.

"Why are we trapped in the past
When we’ve got the present waiting for us
To build and plan our dreams
And work like a team."
This starts out as a question. Where does the question end? You have a period at the end of this stanza, and I'm not sure where the question ends and the answer begins (or at least a further clarification of the question, which would need a period too).

Otherwise the content was good, the rhythm felt right, and the idea was well explained. I especially liked:
"Our life is very precious
And it is essential to cherish those who are special
And no matter what happens in our life,
They always help us to see us with a smile."
You answered the questions you posed. Some poets don't, but good job on doing that.

Hope this helps! Happy Review Day!

The first stanza is magnificent. The idea of living the present like a melody is beautiful concept, I think it's my favorite line is your poem. Today is the first day of September and it's hard letting go of summer, this poem is a wonderfully reminder to savor the moment and build towards the future. It's just what I needed to hear.

I also like the message of perseverance in this poem and how it builds as it goes on. There isn't a clear rhyming scheme that I could pick up, but the lines complement each other nicely.
I liked your use of essential and special, dreams and team, century and theories, etc.

I'm a bit unsure of what you mean by "They always help us to see us with a smile." It's the last line, so ending at such a positive note is great closure. But as the reader, I don't know if the us is including the "they" or not. It there's a way you could clarify it that would be great.

Other than that, GREAT poem. BRAVO!

Very interesting poem. But when I finished, I felt like you hadn't really answered the question posed in the third segment (? I'm not very familiar with poetry terminology). I wanted more, wanted at least one segment that focused on the answer to this question. Perhaps you could put a new quatrain (if you decided to write one) in between the third and fourth. I know you probably intended the fourth to be the answer, but it felt more like an application section than an answering section. So please consider this! Good poem otherwise. Hope this helps!

I like how you set up your premise and then coasted through to deliver your meaning in only four stanzas. I think it flows really well, and you have a good message at the end. For the last lines of the last stanzas, I think the text being bigger is a little awkward, but I can see why you did it and why those lines are emphasized. Even though not everything rhymed, when it did it added to the lines and didn't subtract when they ended differently. I enjoyed reading this poem, and your colorful phrasing and metaphors in the first stanzas bring about a good opening that catch the reader. Sorry if this review was sort of confusing, I'm a little out of it, but your poem was a good read. Keep writing!