Hey, Rosewood here! 🌹
I'm just stopping by for a quick review. But first, I would like to start off by saying how much I enjoyed this. I really like the main character's approach to life and the way they quietly accept life. At least, that's the way I interpreted it.
“Over there.” She points to a mother, a father, and their two children. They’re walking by a large water fountain when all of a sudden, they stop.
Nothing big, but I would add 'and,' after "fountain".
“I promise.”
~~
“It’s a shame, isn’t it?”
I know that you used this to show that time had passed, but I wanted to point out something I had noticed. Whether you intended it or not, I think it's actually quite clever how you insinuated that the promise had been broken before the reveal- foreshadowing basically.
“I used to come to this park every weekend with my kids, and they would make the most ridiculous wishes,” she explains, a hint of laughter in her voice. I remain silent, though the mildly intrigued expression on my face prompts her to continue. “It’s a little sad knowing that our little tradition has to come to an end.”
Again, I know I'm probably stating the obvious, but another reflection of the broken promise. This new person's feelings on the experience sum up the change- oblivious to the real meaning she, as a character, portrays.
In conclusion, I like how much you brought to this piece in such few words. And I hope to read more of your work in the future. Good luck and as always...
Keep writing!
Points: 26
Reviews: 64
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