Published February 4, 2008
She's a butterfly
It's a careless trance
A fragile dance
That I have come to find
And if I could watch her
If I could hold her
Maybe she would be mine
She rides the wind on wings of silk
And dances through the air
Beauty, grace, elegance
Of which no other can compare
She skips across the autumn leaves
And races across the treetops
And if you're fast, you can watch her
Gliding between the raindrops
She loves it when you watch her fly
She'll dazzle your eyes and more
She'll stop to tickle your fingertips
Caress your palms, then she'll soar
Try to catch her, if you can
Stop her in the flight she'll make
In your palm you'll make her yours
Then watch... she'll break
Sure she'll stay for a while
Smile and laugh she may
You can care and heal her wounds
Until she can fly away
You will see her dance no more
Never watch her ride the winds again
Nor glimpse at her through the leaves
Or see her darting through the rain
It's a careless love
A fragile love
That i have come to find
But if i could catch her
If i could have her
Never could she be mine
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141,613 Literary Works • 675,159 Reviews
I was getting a childhood crush that a guy had on a girl that he has known since he was little. They were best friends, and he knows everything about her. But he doesn't know how to make her love him...
Hmm, sounds a little like a cliche romance, but that's just my ramblings, not you. Your poem is gorgeous.
Maybe that is nothing like what you had in mind, but it was how I read it. Any way you want it, it was very pretty. Congrats once more.
~GryphonFledgling
Such a lovely poem Koko! *hugs* 'T is brilliant!
like most of your comments, i am not a poem critic so i'm not much help either.
But, this was amazing, i loved it :]
I'm not a poetry critic, so no help there, but I will say that I loved this. It was so lilting and the sentiment was so clear. I got the message clearly and actually kind of got a second meaning out of it (my bane is poem interpretation... my english teacher is not happy about that)
Excellent job. It was a delightful read.
~GryphonFledgling
What a beautiful poem. Such beautiful sentiments you have assembled here. The whole poem is a tad rough, but the content is great, so it doesn't matter too much. You could use some meter regulation a little more; this is too beautiful to count out syllables. Go with what sounds good. You don't have to, but perhaps you could capitalize your lines. I don't really have too many other comments ohter than fix your rythmn and meter to please the ear, not the fingers. This a great piece; I enjoyed it very much.
That was so beautiful i mean realy realy beautiful and it was one i could understand too.
Oh my God Koko! I looooooved this! It's pretty! I wouldn't be much help with the poetry part of it, just what you're saying.
I loved it!