Published November 11, 2008
MY mind scrambles,
searching for the right word,
to fill the gap,
to cover a hole in my words,
my poetry,
words created by me,
and only me,
all for the world to share,
a history of words,
all on one page,
with a gap in the middle,
while my mind scrambles,
searching for the right word.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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141,418 Literary Works • 674,396 Reviews
Very nice job. It is a good poem. I agree with DrammaMomma that there are a few too many commas. But writing about writers block, well, it just dose not really fill the reader with emotion. I mean, I was not filled with emotion while reading. It might just be me though.
keep writing!
Oh god! The amount of poem related poetry that I've written boggles the mind, and so I'm pretty critical about this subject matter. It seems a bit... Blaze, there is no real significance to your words. The poem merely states a fact but what would really make this poem 'hit home' for a lot of your readership, would be some emotion that they might relate to. Describe the frustrations and feelings etc... This will make a real difference to your work.
Keep writing, and good luck.
Love
Kris
x
Hi there. A simple poem. Maybe you could add in more into this poem? It's kind of... Plain? No offense.
Besides that, I feel that you have some errors and have underlined and bold them.
Basically, you put in too many commas. When can the reader take a rest? Where are the full stops? Besides that, your Capitals.
*Just a suggestion.-In this sentence, "to cover a hole in my words", maybe you could have used "the", "to cover the hole in my words".
However, good attempt on this one.
Cheers,
DrammaMomma