MY mind scrambles,
searching for the right word,
to fill the gap,
to cover a hole in my words,
my poetry,
words created by me,
and only me,
all for the world to share,
a history of words,
all on one page,
with a gap in the middle,
while my mind scrambles,
searching for the right word.
Very nice job. It is a good poem. I agree with DrammaMomma that there are a few too many commas. But writing about writers block, well, it just dose not really fill the reader with emotion. I mean, I was not filled with emotion while reading. It might just be me though.
keep writing!
Oh god! The amount of poem related poetry that I've written boggles the mind, and so I'm pretty critical about this subject matter. It seems a bit... Blaze, there is no real significance to your words. The poem merely states a fact but what would really make this poem 'hit home' for a lot of your readership, would be some emotion that they might relate to. Describe the frustrations and feelings etc... This will make a real difference to your work.
Keep writing, and good luck.
Love
Kris
x
Hi there. A simple poem. Maybe you could add in more into this poem? It's kind of... Plain? No offense.
Besides that, I feel that you have some errors and have underlined and bold them.
kloka wrote:
MY mind scrambles,
searching for the right word,
to fill the gap,
to cover *a hole in my words,
my poetry,
words created by me,
and only me,
all for the world to share,
a history of words,
all on one page,
with a gap in the middle,
while my mind scrambles,
searching for the right word.
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