Gasparina walked calmly down one of the many corridors of the dismal castle. Her soft blue and gold dress was an extreme contrast to the black and crimson interior of the fortress. She slowed her pace as her father’s second in command, Soroush, entered the hall. They locked eye contact until they passed each other. His hazel eyes unsettled her; they seemed to see right through her.
She quickened her pace as he passed. Finally she reached the staircase leading down to the dungeon where her father kept all of his prisoner’s men, women, and even children were imprisoned in the endless labyrinth of tunnels of the prison. Grabbing the torch from the wall she started her decent.
The darkness consumed her by the fifth step. Her torch seemed almost useless as it barely lit her surroundings. Finally she reached the last stair and stepped down onto the damp floor of the dungeon. There were three different passageways in front of her. If she took even one wrong turn she would be lost in the endless maze her father so cleverly designed.
A scream burst through the corridor on her left that way would lead her to the torture chambers. Chills ran up and down her spine shaking them off she looked down the remaining two passageways.
What was it that Mosi said?
Remembering her friend’s directions she swiftly turned down the corridor on her right. A few more troubling turns later she found her friend Mosi waiting for her.
“Have trouble finding us?” He asked.
Mosi was a medium sized man with hair that shown like the sun if any light ever hit it. He was Gasparina’s closest and dearest friend. She had saved him from the dungeon and her father’s wrath when he had arrived, he had been her servant ever since, and so much more.
They had discovered hidden tunnels leading from one of the forgotten chambers in the castle to the other side of the mountains, to freedom. Mosi had helped her save countless prisoners throughout the year’s right under her father’s nose.
“Just momentarily, but I found you didn’t I?”
Gasparina turned her gaze towards the little boy Mosi was supporting. He did not even look human anymore, his skin stuck to his bones so tightly that you could count all of them. He was covered in many scares old and new. Mosi picked the boy up and looked back at Gasparina.
“Now that you have found us. Let’s get out of this forsaken place!”
Gasparina nodded and lead them back towards the staircase. Mosi hid the boy under his cloak.
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Teyh spurred Gaeso forward, the crimson stallions hooves sounded like thunder beneath him. They had been traveling for at least a day.
How did he find the blade?
Teyh looked to his left; Ari rode her stallion without touching her reins it was like Zyrian was reading her mind. Or was she reading his? She intrigued him, she was the woman that helped in the capturing of his brother but yet she was not the same…something had changed.
Ari glanced over at Teyh. He knew more about her past than she did and that terrified her. How she was tangled in this whole mess was mind blowing. Dustan was ahead of them suddenly he stopped, he signaled them to stop.
The trees ahead of them were dark and something moved around them hiding in the shadows. A deep growl echoed through the forest, it seemed to come from every direction, surrounding them.
There is defiantly more than one.
Teyh turned Gaeso around just in time to get a glimpse of the creature. Its red eyes shone through the darkness, and its black coat blended in perfectly with the shadows. Teyh drew his sword slowly from its sheath. Dustan and Ari already had theirs out, ready for an attack.
Another intense growl echoed around them shaking the ground beneath them. Gaeso snorted and pounded his hoof against the earth. Suddenly the creature attacked it leapt toward Teyh, its fierce jaws aimed at Teyh’s vulnerable throat, venom ran down from its mouth dripping down its neck. Teyh swung his sword at the creature; the blade hit the animals face with an incredible force. The creature fell to the side but quickly recovered, the blade had barely left a scratch.
Teyh looked pasted the animal and saw that two others were attacking Ari and Dustan. He quickly returned his attention to the creature; it had started to circle him its venom dripping off of its lips and onto the ground below. Teyh kept his sword pointed at the creature.
How do I defeat this creature? My sword has no effect on it!
It ran towards him Teyh retreated, the animal pounced Teyh dove under the creature, and plunged his blade into the creature’s soft underbelly. The animal dropped to the ground, shaking the earth around them. Pulling his blade from the animal Teyh stood up and retreated slowly. Suddenly the animal vanished.
Shocked he turned and looked toward Ari and Dustan they were still fighting the beasts. “Aim for their...” Teyh did not get to finish his sentence; he was pinned to the ground. Drops of venom collected next to him, and a soft growl sounded beside him. The beast was back.
How is this possible! I killed him!
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I'm going to attempt the hwhole thing here, as it appears to be a shorter chapter. *gulp* Here goes!
All in all I thought the plot was good, you just need to work on the structure. Happy writing