Published February 9, 2008
Please tell me what you think of it! 
Its Last Moments
It kissed my hand
and then looks up.
Forlorn brown eyes
stared into mine.
I pet the head and
felt the fur.
Soft and gentle,
I murmur words.
“Go to sleep, close
your eyes.”
My loyal companion
sits on my lap.
It dozes off,
breathing deep.
Its cold nose touches
my hand and I weep.
I know it’s gone,
and so was I.
Under the dirt, grass,
and flowers, it sleeps.
I stand alone, a tissue in hand.
I sob relentlessly.
The wind blows, brushing
my tears away.
I walk away from the grave quietly.
It was with me so much,
like part of the family,
a true friend,
but now it’s gone.
I sit and weep,
to mourn my dog who is
now buried deep.
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141,430 Literary Works • 674,412 Reviews
Oh my goodness! I almost cried at this...and I'm NOT a big weeper. I loved the word choice and the condensing language. That would've been good, but then you just had to make the word choice perfect! Well Done!
The flow of this doesn't seem quite right. You might try:
"Go to sleep,
Close your eyes."
Other than that, it's great. I almost cried, my dog is dying :,(
it was really nice, I think that it kinda remins people of the dogs/ animals taht they have lost, which is a good thing ´because even the animals need to be remembered....
Yes, it really has a lot of imagery. I liked it.
Keep up the good work!
This poem is lovely.
It reminds me of my dog that died.
I like it.
Has great impact on the reader.
Not bad. The main thing I'd like to suggest is that you make it more unique and write about your own personal, detailed experience. At the moment I see a moving poem which many people have written. Lots of people have lost a dog, wouldnt you agree? SO you need to show the reader how your experience was special. First of all, why do you refer to the dog as "it"? YOu dont have to mention the name, but it would be much more personal and touching if you wrote "he" or "she."
You did well with switching between the time when your dog died and the experience of burying it. I liked that.
This part needs a lot of work because it's over-written. Take out the adverbs. Telling us you "relentlessly" sobbed and "quietly" walked away doesn't allow for the reader's imagination to paint the picture. You also used way too many adjectives which weakened your good nouns and verbs. Look at each one and question it - do you REALLY need it? Does it truly add anything to the sentence or can we understand what you are saying without the adjective?
Wow, this is great.
Your imagery brang this story alive, and the emotion in it is able to be felt by readers.
As Jasmine said, the oast and present tense do jump around a little, however that is only a minor problem.
Otherwise it sounds great
Well Done.
very good job, Keep it up.
Dofs...
This was lovely. You channeled your emotion well, and the snippet of dialogue helped bring it to life. The rhythm is good and yoru enjambment is perfect.I really love;
"The wind blows, brushing
my tears away."
My only little quibble is your tenses. I'd keep it all in the past or the present, instead of flipping between them, as I think it will sound more natural and make this a little more fluid, e.g;
"It kissed my hand
and then looked up."
The second stanza is my favourite. It was beautiful, your imagery was great, and it flowed with ease.
Hope this helps.