Sensitive To Ashes (add on 3)

Some say they are muscle, and some say they are bone. From the mear fragment of our past lives... we are all ashes, from fire. Ashes from the Earth.

Chapter 1; Spellbound

I curse silently under my breath, then I sigh. Abby, my four year old neighbor, is who I'm supposed to be babysitting. But she's babysitting me, because I can't seem to stay still for a whole half an hour. It's annoying, well I'm annoying, I wish I could be somewhere else most of the time well anywhere but here.

My name is Rosalinda Carlie Vials. My boyfriend, the shallow thing he is, is named Kain. He is stunning, more beautiful than me. His hair is a honey colored piece with a hint of blond. He has raging black eyes, and he is built. His best friend is his mirror. For me, my only best friend is Matthew Callaway. He has black hair and is very outgoing, but normally when he talks he makes up strange words, one of his favorites, which is a nickname for me, is Blinx.

It's supposed to stand for Yellow or hazel in his weird language. My hair is blond, wavy. I have blue eyes, with black strike out looking things in them. I am not a shy girl, though. I have a few friends, but none want to be seen with me, for some reason unknown. I hang out with Matt and Kain almost always, when I'm not being babysat by a four year old child.

She is so much like me, it's like I give off some of my personality to her, a dangerous edge creeps into her eyes whenever Kain is around. Whenever anyone is around but me, and when she looks at you, with eyes full of hate, it's like your world is falling. Like all of your will to live has just suddenly left your body.

She looks at me then, as if I was speaking the words out loud. My lower lip trembled as she smile a little too sweetly.

" Now, now, Rose. How about we go outside and soak up some sun?" She says.

Just then I have a feeling of being stabbed in my arm, I look down at the surface of my arm, smooth but with a little irritation. I brush it off, then I hear a car come up in front of the house. I can tell by the roar it's not a car, it's Kains Harley. I smile at Abby and wave goodbye as I jump on the back of it, the pain is still there but it's dying down. Maybe for a while I can just enjoy myself, but instead it feels as if I'm going to black out. And I believe I do, I fall off the motorcycle. It wasn't like a sense of falling, but I felt it. It was like a blue light exploded. Then I wake up in a white room, with Kain and Matt staring down at me. I was confused at first, then I only saw Matt. There was the blue light above him, like a halo. Beside me I hear a beeping of a heart monitor, I could feel my heart falter then pick up again.

Chapter 2; Different Point of View

I try to sit up, the pain in my arm is gone but there is a new pain. A heart pain, a horrid pain that just thinking about it makes my sick. I look at Kain, and he looks....angry. And then I look at Matthew, he looks green, sick...with worry. I reach my hand up to touch Matts face but Kain reaches in and takes my hand instead.

" Baby, I was so worried!" he said dramatically.

" Are you well enough to sit up?" A voice said from the door, it was a doctor. Kains father.

" Yes. I don't think anything broke. But I feel sore," Then I looked at Matt. And the same pain hit me again. The blue light grew brighter.

" Good. I'm glad Kain was driving slow or you would have been....hurt." He said.

I could not understand his hesitation,he walked out of the room then, abruptly, but that didn't matter. Nothing mattered except that I knew that Matt was okay. He looked so helpless, like he just lost a childhood pet. I reached out to him now, touched his face, and he laid it in my palm.

" Are you alright, Matty?" I ask.

" Fine, I just came here to see if you were okay. Kain can I speak to you in the hall ?"

He said in a gruff voice.

They looked like they were fighting, I saw Matt palms up. Kain, fists tight, they looked at me a few times, then Kain sighed and looked toward the window outside the door. Then he walked out of the building, I could see his motorcycle I fell off of. He left without a single glance at the hospital. Matt came in, it looked like he had a lot to say. So I waited.

"Blinx, Kain is a monster. A horrid thing, he doesn't care about you....like I do. There is so much that you're missing, these head aches aren't going to get any better unless you know why. If I tell you, you must not scream or judge. I'm telling you this because I care, and I may be the only one of this damn Earth who does." he says.

" Okay, tell me, I trust you." I tell him. Even though I have never told him about my head aches. He just reads me easily.

He leans closer to me, the blue light is so bright I squint my eyes against it. He breathes in and then says," What do you know about magic in your family's past?"

Dumbfounded I say, " Um, I don't know?"

He sighs, " Okay. Listen Blinx, I have to go. But I'll be back," he said when I opened my mouth to protest. " I have some history of yours to look into. There should have been no way you could have lived through that crash. He said he was going twenty but it looked like he men't to say more." he touched my face, and my heart started to beat erratically.

" Bye, Matt."

He nodded and left the room, that was when I noticed Kains father looking at me, was he there the whole time? It didn't matter, somehow he had the same hard face as Kains' had been just a few minutes ago. He came by my bed and wrote something down of a slip of paper and handed it to me.

"It seems he's going to make this harder than it looks," Kains father says.

"What does this say ?" I ask him. It was something in Latin or Greek maybe.

He just smiled darkly and whispered, " Witch Ashes." And left the room.

When Matt arrived it was high noon, he brought with him a backpack with books slipping out and three more in his hands. Looking at him I could see the light dimming, when he began speaking the halo almost vanished.

"Do you know about a family member by the name of Bliss Cadro or Michael Belva?" he asked.

"Um..the names they sound familiar, but I do not know them."

"Ok, thats a start I suppose. Here, take a look at this," he says pointing to a faded picture in an old book. It was enough that I could make out the peoples faces and the words printed on the page under them. They were burning...."This is is an old family member of mine. Both we're accused of being witches, both we're burned at the stake."

Under the pictures two words were identical to the words Kains father show me, 'witch ashes.' I slipped into the darkness and dreamed of fire.

Chapter 3; Dead By The Moon

I could see us running, Matt and I, away from the angry mod trying to kill us. I willed a ray of white light in my palms blasted a force field around myself and Matt. Matt, who had the same blue halo light around in my dream fought back with streaming whips of air from his arms. Some people flew back but they were advancing. We were going to die, our ashes would remain scattered forever, never lying side by side again. My love was going to die.

Then my dream changed, I was ten feet in the air. Matt lay dead on the ground, his halo consumed him in death as well as life- I flew at blinding speed, fighting back. But a pitch fork stabbed me in my heart, I was alive though but unconscious. When I awoke I was on fire, I screamed in agony but it was to no avail, I looked over at Matt, dead already. He had turned into ashes. People sneezed into his pile and the wind carried him off into the sky.

I was next, it was over. Everything was done. When I woke, I was sweating and there was Matt, just the same as I was. We did not speak, we only held each other, praying that the dream wasn't a flash back of our family's past.

But what could this mean? Matt was apart of my family? No, I wouldn't have that. I loved him, not like a brotherly love but a love that could not be described with words. A nurse came into the room with a clipboard in hand and a needle in the other. It's just for precautions, to make sure that if anything was cut open that they could not find, I could not be infected. She also said I could go home around noon. My step mother, Donna, and my father, Daniel, came to get me. I could see Kains father look at me and Matt with a smirk. He started to murmur something in Spanish, it look like he said "morte" I shuttered and looked away.

Comments & reviews · 3
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Hey there!

So I'm confused. I thought Kains was her boyfriend? (Kains is an awesome name, by the way) Why is she calling Matt her love and dreaming about him? If she is secretly in love with Matt, that's cool, however you need to state it clearer. And then towards the end it seems as if they're siblings? When you introduce Matt, I would say that he is her sibling. I mean, when you see your sibling or parents, you automatically recognize that they're your relative, right? That's how your story should be; it would be more realistic.

Other than that, I found the dream really interesting! It was really well written, better than your other parts. However, there wasn't really anything there furthering the plot. A dream that gives no hint of anything should go at the beginning of the story. Personally, I think this would be cool as your opening paragraphs! The ones you have now aren't particularly inviting.

Keep writing, and post more!

Classy

User avatar
ziggiefred
Review

Hello there

Abby, my four year old neighbor, is who I'm #FF0000 ">suppose to be babysitting. But she's babysitting me, because I can't seem to stay still for a whole half an hour.

The word I highlighted in red, I think you meant 'supposed'. The other words in bold are those that are only meant to be used in speech. So instead of 'I'm' for example, write 'I am'.
There are a lot of spelling mistakes through out the text and grammar. You need to develop your ideas more too. I was left hanging most of the time because you jumped quickly from one idea to another. But you have great ideas. The story has potential. Try and expand it, I mean your chapters are quite short, and never forget to thoroughly proof read it.
Good attempt. Keep writing. :smt001



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