Published June 12, 2010
As the waves run laps upon the shore,
the sky is bright as light.
So lovely and so pure.
There is love in the air.
There is a home everywhere,
so are we ever alone?
The moon, Luna, sing to me!
Let the dimples on your surface gleam so happy in the night sky.
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Yes, I am sorry for that aswell. I did not have much to work with when I spoke of Italy. I am planning a visit there next year.
Hi,
This is a lovely piece. The first line in particular is beautiful and I love the internal rhyme of "bright as light." I'd but an "and" before "so pure" for the sake of the rhythm.
I'd change the second stanza as, for example "love in the air" is a bit dull. I'd go back to the sort of imagery you use in the first stanza, which works so nicely. I think it would be a good place to describe Italy, as I'll admit the mention of it in the title drew me in and I was a bit disappointed by lack of references to it.
The last stanza is very good, I really love "Let the dimples on your surface gleam". "Happy" was a little boring; I'd try for something stronger.
A very enjoyable read overall.
Hope this helps,
Jas