Paint a picture of bright flowers,
reach for the unreachable within one hour.
Look within yourself to find your power,
then bloom into a fragrent flower.
Go back into retrospect and do it all over again,
then fly back to Earth without your mischievous grin.
Befriend those who are kind and leave the bad and rude behind.
This can be a calming insight of ourselves,
just to be you and no one else.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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i dont know what firestarter's problem is, i thought it was a beautiful poem. i loved the rhyme scheme, and i didnt think it was messy at all. disregard all he says, because its a bunch of crap. i totally understood what you were saying, and the pictures i got in my head were plenty clear. and also they were very pretty, of flowers hahah. there is no specific way to view poetry. either you like the poem or you don't. the image the poem creates is up to the author. if the reader can't understand itt, then o well. and even if you don't "get an image" in your head, thats ok. you can still like it. i really don't have any suggestions about improvements you could make
i don't agree with fire starter here. i think this poems intent is to let you come up with your own images, and your own interpretation of it. painting a picture of bright flowers to me is a symbol of getting out your creativity, showing what your good at, it doesn't necessarily have be taken literally. also, within the hour could mean, just reach for it as soon as you can, that its supposed to be a race to get to where you want to be. you want to set goals for yourself. this is really a great piece of poetry, and i really enjoyed reading it. the reason why you might fly back to earth and not grin is because you see the way you've acted, and its not you. so you fly back with out your grin, which could also signify mask. i'm not trying to speak for the writer, but this is just what this poem means to me. each poem means something different to everyone, and i think this is one of the best poems i've read in a long time, even compared to most of the poems we are forced to read in school. so congrats writer, i give you an 11 out of 10. =)
Hey kit,
I was confused by the images you presented us in this. I didn't see the connection between painting bright flowers and reaching for the unreachable (and why in an hour). Also, why fly back to Earth and not grin? It didn't really make sense to me. Perhaps I'm missing something, but it seems more likely that you've failed to connect each of you images to something coherent. If you revise this, make sure each line connects to the next and helps to fill the overall point of the poem. Otherwise, this is messy.
This is a good poem. The last stanza I especially like:
It has a sense of finality to it. The only problem I have with it is the first stanza:
It has good imagery but the first sentence seems a bit out of place and disjointed from the others.