Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: This is an interesting piece. Its naturally quite short and it seems to be trying to send just this one simple message which is usually a great way to go about a piece of this size. I think it manages to pull off what its trying to do reasonably well although there are a couple of place it could do with a bit more of an impact.
Anyway let's get right to it,
'Breathe', it says.
They have trouble with this command.
'Breathe', the sign still says, unchanging. The sign does not care what they are doing. The sign doesn't even want them to listen to its command. How could it? It's a sign.
Still, they feel apologetic towards the sign. It is such a simple request, to breathe, and they're only hurting themself by having trouble with it. Although it's not like they can help it. They would much rather not have trouble breathing, regardless of the sign demanding them, in deep purple letters, to breathe.
Well, this is a powerful little start here. It such a simple word that you've chosen to focus on. There isn't really a world here, just this one sign floating in a void almost with this one instruction and I love that. It instantly draws your right towards it and makes you ask so many questions about what this request is mean to represent and to whom its being made.
The world is out of focus, they can barely feel their strained breathing, barely see the dark night around them.
only thing that they know now is the sign. Its a simple sign, a hard, dark, orange rectangle, with blocky purple letters spelling out 'Breathe'.
Why is it the sign they focus on, of everything else that presumably exists? Is it the strange colors, and single word that would feel out of place anywhere? The sign is just one strange thing, in a world full of strange things, so what's so special about this one sign?
Okay...this is taking on a little bit more of a shape here as we continue. That's certainly an interesting addition. I wasn't expecting the world to be involved at all, but now we've got a few splashes of color and a blurred background. It does add wonderfully to the focus here though since all of it does have this sole purpose of emphasizing this sign and just continues to build the mystery of what this sign could possibly mean.
No offense to the sign of course, it's a lovely sign to lose themself in. It doesn't really matter why their mind picked the sign, does it? Because it did, And now the sign is all there is.
Why are they focused so intently on a singular object?
The sign, 'Breathe', reminds them that they can't breathe. They realize with a spark of satisfaction that this must be why the sign is what got their attention.
Okay...well that's an interesting ending. It felt like it was building up to something a little bit deeper than what we have right here but then it does still have a decent meaning I suppose with the whole mind latching onto it part. Its certainly a start as far as an ending goes.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, I think the start is great here. The way it develops through the middle is also pretty nicely done, but towards the end it didn't quite deliver on the kind of weight that was built up. I think the same idea, just with a bit more meaning behind it could really improve things here.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 259822
Reviews: 4125
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