... Hope you guys like it... Please help me improve
Your Photograph
by: Kite
Looking into the camera's sight,
Aiming upon the target's smile,
A click, followed by that warming light,
An eternal memory within that single shot.
But upon all these memories,
None could compare to this,
This photograph, with your smile,
This photograph that i kept at heart.
I remember that day, that moment,
Surrounded by all, but I aimed only at you,
you posed, you smiled, I clicked,
This beauty concealed ceaselessly within my shot.
That moment lasted a lifetime,
My heart was beating to see you,
But alas, I never had the chance,
Your picture, my feelings, we're so ever true.
People, they all began to leave,
You too, left with that smile,
from my camera, I fell for you,
When one day, that our roads shall meet once more,
I hope to take yours again, eternally...
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125,015 Literary Works • 672,845 Reviews
There's not much for me to review because most of the reviews part is pretty much covered. All of all, I want to say this is a good work. Try practice more to improve your writing. Keep on writing.
Good luck,
kikialicia31.
2 thumbs up!
i like it and happy birthday ron !!!
sorry for those minor errors, such as spacings and typos... I was knda typing it too fast without even checking. Haha
Thanks for the reviews...
Something I need to mention is your vocabulary. You use a lot of words over again. Example: You use "smile" or "smiled" four times. You use "eternal" or "eternally" three times. There are other words you repeat a lot too. Look over this. Change it up a bit. Your poem will thank me.
loveness, ultraviolet <3
You have a couple typos but other than that I liked the poem so keep it up
It's photograph. I'm guess that's just a typo though. It's really, really good other than that. Love the emotion.