I am crooked.
A spine twisting, crushing
Distorting the shape of my body
Stealing the air from my lungs
Straightened out.
My vertebrae readjusted
Braced by cold steel
Stitched back together
Scarred forever.
A purple line down my body
Gliding over my entire back
Something to remember it by
Remaining crooked.
With uneven shoulders,
A hunched neck
Constant reminders
That though they fixed me
I am Crooked.
And I always will be.
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Your poem describes the emotions of someone with Scoliosis, feeling "crooked". And your poem describes the characteristics of someone with scoliosis which is educative. It helps someone who does not know the conditions people with that condition go through, understand them when they get to encounter them.
I like the details: " hunched neck, uneven shoulders"
This is a very beautiful poem. And you aligned every word purposefully where it is supposed to be. And very educative as well.
Never give up, such a wonderful writing talent.
OMG!!I loved this so much.It has so much feel to it.You showed your pain through these words so well i could almost feel it.The words and rhymes you have used blend so well together.It seriously send goosebumps down my back.Its just an absolutely perfect and beautiful poem just like you.I hope you learn to love your scars cuz they give you strength and power to do anything.
Keep up the Wonderful work
peace out
Thank you! I'm glad the poem has so much power, I never really write them. And thank you again, I am trying to learn to see my scars as a path of where I've been, so your words of encouragement are truly appreciated.
I love this poem so much, I also suffer from scoliosis and its painful all on its own. I love this poem even more because of how it can also be applied in a more metaphorical sense to reflect people's personalities. I'm not sure if you wrote this poem in a much more literal sense, but I peronally love how it could go in both directions.
I'm glad you enjoyed it! I personally wrote it in a pretty literal sense, but now I see where you're coming from after a few read-throughs. Thank you for the review and introducing me to a new way to see my poem, haha.
Hello kingopossum
I am Ishan I am here to review your work, Crooked. So here we go:
First of all, WELCOME TO YWS!!! I hope you have a great time here and if any query, you can just p.m me.
So your poem is about "scoliosis, even after corrective surgery."
Well, great poem, the scheme of words you have used to get the rhyming correct, is really cool.
"A purple line down my body
Gliding over my entire back
Something to remember it by"
Great poem!!!
Keep Writing!!!
Isha212
It would be better if we don't take away precious critique from the writer by writing a Spamish type of a tennis review that helps the writer in no way possible. And there are different places in the site where you may be able to welcome a writer. The reviews are not one of them. Hope you review better.
Well .. thank you for making me realize that I can't review. Why don't u write a post to teach reviewing?