Hi!
so, this is what i would say.
The starting line sounds a little rushed. actually, i don't even think it's really needed, at all. the second line is really good, and it makes a much better 'thesis', per say.
A lab is not a place to raise cheetahs. Maybe they were born there...maybe. But cheetahs, even super-smart engineered cheetahs, need room to roam, and a lab, no matter how big it is, isn't going to be miles long. Cheetahs, in zoos, have at least mile-long enclosures, I think. Or else, they get restless, and depressed. Mom can't be running around with her kittens (cubs?) in a 20-30 foot square lab, they would nock things over.
The bath thing is a good detail about her, but it isn't placed right. We're supposed to feel like Mother is this amazing, maternal, loving figure, at least at first. the last line of that paragraph, 'we learned not to struggle', feels like she's oppressing her kittens(again, cubs?). You could cut out the paragraph and use it for later, because even though right now, you want us to believe she's perfect, of course you want her to be a dynamic character, and the bath detail gave her dynamic.
Female cheetahs are more than capable of bringing down scientists. Especially females. This is because, while male cheetahs hunt in small packs, females hunt alone, for themselves and for their young. They are incredibly lethal and fast and would not have too much trouble bringing down a few un-athletic, unarmed interns. The only way to work with big cats is to cooperate with them.
the way Mother died was very hazy. for one thing, she is a cheetah. 'scream' is a pretty universal sound among animals, but cheetahs really aren't too capable of it. for one thing, they cannot roar. they have the voice mechanics of a house cat. they purr and hiss, maybe yowl, but you wouldn't describe any of those sounds as a scream.
furthermore, when did she say "i love you?' when she was being tortured to death? before it? did she KNOW she was going to be killed?" and don't scientists euthanize animals instead of painfully slaughtering them?
also, it would be great if you could clarify Mother's own intelligence. if she's just a normal cheetah, then there has got to be a pretty noticeable difference between her and her cubs (kittens?). there might be views that she has that her offspring would question. There are a lot of possibilities that you could explore with that.
I'm super-excited to know how this story turns out, but i'm not going to review anymore of it (if you're posting the rest of it) because honestly, i hate criticizing people on stuff they pour their souls into...
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