Published December 3, 2011
Commiserating,
Angers the proud me within.
Give me empathy.
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Canary word: Present
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139,639 Literary Works • 672,637 Reviews
Hello.
Very interesting piece. As others have pointed out, it has a nice irony to it once you look up the meaning of the words. You've managed to hit the structure rather well.
What I really like is that you differentiated between "sympathy" and "empathy" here. While the difference is subtle, it wraps up very nicely in this particular poem. Getting sympathy or pity angers you, while feeling empathy generates an understanding.
In this way, you've really done a haiku that encompasses what a haiku should be in its highest forms: a very deep poem in as few words as humanly possible. Picking a very long word for the beginning might've alienated some readers, but it's just such a good word I wouldn't change it.
Nice work.
~Rosey
Perfect Irony.
Kudos.
I don't know exactly why, but this Haiku gives me encouragement. I think it starts off on a very powerful note; "commiserating" is really hard-hitting! I apologize for not being of much help, as I'm an absolute newbie when it comes to Haiku, but I like this one.
Not every haiku has to be just 3 lines. Use this structure for other stanzas next time.