Published October 4, 2011
You know something?
Something happened the other day.
I've found I've stopped sleeping.
I could see;
we are different,
in so many ways.
I makes me wonder
how much longer we'll be one,
standing in the same square.
For soon, society will
pull us apart.
Then someone will be left
disappointed,hurt,burdened.
You see?
The other day I stopped sleeping
But still I dream
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142,061 Literary Works • 676,509 Reviews
Thanks briggsy1996 and samii27
Thank you so much for the reviews!!
Very creative and deep. I LOVED IT. I liked the way you used words and put them together to create feeling.
My favourite lines that capture me most are:
Fantastic! Those lines bring out something deep inside me, like a feeling I've stopped feeling.
Keep writing! And welcome to YWS!
Hi there and welcome to YWS
I don't have any nitpicks so I'll get right into my overall thoughts.
I like this, because even though it's fairly short, it's full of a certain deepness that is sometimes hard to capture.
-The end is my favourite part because when you mentioned that you stopped sleeping before, it seems a little out of place, but you brought it all together by adding this at the end.
This was brilliantly written. Thanks for the read and happy writing
-Briggsy