I Won't Give Up

Hi!

You're only thirteen but I can sense too much passion already.

Dreams are there to dream no matter how long or how tough they seem to achieve.

This has a very good message that each kid everywhere in the world must read.

Dream.

It's one thing no one can take away from us.

Congratulations.

Write more, please? Good luck!

Thank you for the reviews. Maybe it looked like a poem but actually it's a part of my song.I wrote it when I was eleven. I just found it when I was cleaning my room. And once again, thanks for the reviews.

beautiful i love it , you really poured your heart into this poem and it shows.
I enjoyed this and i'm looking forward to seeing more writing from you.

happy writing

I love it! Can you do another one, but a bit more dramatic? Like, with imagery and stuff. I think it would be SUPER EPIC! But I REALLY love this!

Alright, here is my review:

1. I still believe in my dreams

No matter what happens to me

I think you should say: I (will, or would) still believe in my dreams. Because you used no matter.

2. I don't care what peoples say about me. Maybe peoples is a word, but I would rather use people, in order to keep the poem a little formal. But it is your poem, and you know what is best for it.

3.Why should I live in dreams

When my dreams will come true someday

This is my favorite part of this poem.

4.I won't give up in my hopes

I won't give up in my dreams

I won't give up in my Cinderella storybook

I would use the word "on" rather than "in" because you are not living in your hopes and dreams or in your storybook.

Other than that, I love your persistance and the feeling that you are strong and relentless over what you desire in your life. I would also advise you to expand this a little more. You seem like a person with wide-ranged dreams, so write them all down.