What If

I sit there in the bright blue chair layering on the thing that can change a girl from bland to stunning in under ten minutes… make-up. It’s surprising how approximately every girl uses it and guys still say a girl is magnificent even when they have not seen her without it. I think to myself, what if every girl stopped? What if we, purely for one week, went as ourselves. Every man will need to look at women closely to finally realize our true charm. That is the miracle on the inside and not the outside of us. What if one guy, just one, loved me for me. I knew they were entirely just ’what ifs’ and it shall not actually happen.

I hear the bus comes to a steady stop outside my house. I dab on my final touches of mascara, grab my shiny silver book bag and chase after it. Steadily my neighbors and I fully step in line to get on the big bright yellow bus. I don’t understand how such a rachet nasty thing could be so important to thousands of kids each day. How I think of it is if we are on this thing around an hour and a half, a day for 180 days, it should be cleaner than this. What if someone cared actually respected the things we see every day. I step on the first step avoiding getting hit by the paper wads being thrown.

I find my seat in the very back two seats behind the most gorgeous man ever made on this planet, Max Tucker. I have been in love with him ever since the first day I gazed over him in the 6th grade class with Miss Mayberry. His short scruffy dirty blond hair. His baby blue eyes and smile that sparkled in the sun. No wonder every girl liked him, he was extremely handsome. I remember him sitting next to me that whole year. We talked on occasion, but he was always too busy staring at Layla Marie. It is true, she was one of the prettiest girls in the class. If only he could have taken the time to realize that she never liked him and I was sitting there all along. Truthfully this is real life and I learned the hard way that things do not always work out near how you plan them too.

We come to a jolting stop at the school. They have done a lot of construction on the school since last year, which makes it more difficult this year to find all my classes. I take a deep breath readying myself for all the mishaps in Northridge High School. I see Max stand up out of his seat, a drop of sweat falls off of his nose and lands on the seat. I stand up and step behind him, I can smell his axe cologne. This was just the time for things to mess up, Billy stands up and spills a red kool aid drink all over Max and I. Who knows why he had a red kool aid on the bus, but all I care about is that it just spilled all over my brand new white t-shirt and blue jeans.

“What the heck man,” Max yells in frustration.

“Sorry I tried to stand up to get my bag and it slipped,” Billy rambles off excuses.

“Whatever, it’s cool with me. I needed a new outfit anyway, but you better talk to Ally about how she is, she looks enraged,” Max says in a cool guy, i’m-just-going-to-brush-it-off, voice and he dashes off the bus.

I stand in shock that Max knew my name and even had a cute little nickname for me, Ally, that goes through my head a million times at light speed I think about his amazing vocabulary for a cool kid, I totally forget about the kool aid.

“Allison, are you okay. I’m sorry I must have bumped something and slipped,” Billy says still rushing to get off the bus.

“Oh, no it is fine. I’ll just go to the bathroom and wipe it off,” I say trying not to sound frustrated with him.

“Well alright, have a good day,” Billy says walking into the school.

“Yea… you to Billy,” I mutter still thinking about Max.

I step off the noisy bus and into the blue and yellow lined school trying to find the nearest bathroom before anyone else sees me. I turn right and head into the bathroom. This is one of the newer ones the school has just redone. Luckily I made it into one of the stalls when I hear Layla walk in…

“Oh my gosh, did you see what she was wearing, it looked as if she got dressed in the dark,” Layla says with an evil tone in her voice.

“Haha I know, and if she thinks it’s the new trend maybe she should go back to the 80’s,” Lilly snorts and re applies her make-up.

I wonder who they are talking about. Probably some innocent victim of their evil schemes. I think to myself, what if everyone got along? What if we all treated everyone how we wanted to be treated. Obviously Layla wouldn’t want to be laughed at in the bathroom of school, so that means she would be nice to people for once. Right?

I wipe off my shirt and get it as close to white as it could possibly get and step out. At that time I regretted even stepping out, But it was too late they had already saw me.

“Oh look it’s little Allison and it looks like she had a little accident, haha” Layla giggles trying to sound cool, while Lilly laughs with her.

“Shut up Layla, if you didn’t know, Billy spilled kool aid all over Max and I today so you can just shut it,” I stutter making sure to choose my words wisely because anything I say will probably be used against me.

“Yea, sure he did I bet it was you trying to get close to Max with your sick twisted way. I hope you know he’s never ever going to like you, just like any other boy in the school,” Layla yells in my face and then struts out of the bathroom with Lilly not far behind.

Right then and there I wished that I could just go and yell something back, but I knew that would be one of the worst choices yet. What if we all weren't so afraid of what people would say, if we spoke our mind, Not caring what would happen next. The world would be full of people who spoke their mind and didn’t hide in the dark.

I step out of the clean bathroom and work my way around the huge school. I make it just in time for the bell to ring as I step in the enormous classroom and make my way around to my seat in the very right back corner by the tan book cabinet. I look over and see Max two rows away talking to his friends, oh that dreamy smile. It makes me remember why all the girls in class adore him. I pull my Algebra book out and act like i’m working when the teacher looks at me, but i’m really thinking about Max.

The bell rings and all the kids in class start rushing out laughing and giggling. I follow them quietly behind when I feel someone tap on my shoulder…

“Hey, you didn’t look so good on the bus, are you okay?” Max whisperer.

“Yea, I was just a little shocked. I really did not expect that,” I mutter quietly.

“Haha, I didn’t expect that either. You seemed to have cleaned up your shirt really good, mine is totally ruined. Do you wanna go to the mall later with me? I mean, I need some new clothes and you could probably help me find some nice outfits.” Max laughs lightly and scratches his head unsure of what I would say.

Everything I have ever wanted passes through my head. I felt like I was going to pass out right then and there, but I knew I needed to get the words “yes” out before I did. It felt like I was flying high on cloud 9.

“Yes, I would love too,” I practically yell.

“Awesome so… I will see you at six,” Max says and then walks off.

My heart was going a million miles an hour, my smile you couldn’t hide. I was bursting with joy. Just then I ran into my bestfriend of five years, Annabell. We have been through everything together, she was my other half. I couldn’t get through anything without her.

“Hey Allison, Why so happy?” Annabell asked delightfully.

“Guess who has a date at six with Max!” I smile.

“Yay! I will come over at five to help you get ready!” she rushes off down the hall.

I walk into my second period class, biology. Who knew a class so close to the morning could be this boring. Layla is in this class which is probably the other reason this class drags on and on. When I was younger, I use to love biology. I love working with animals, dissecting frogs, and learning about all those animals. We are learning about DNA and how nucleotides are formed right now, not my favorite topic. Now I love Theater, maybe because Max is in that class, but so is Layla. Max was so cute with the kool-aid spilt on his shirt. It is terrible that it happened, but I am okay with it on me because he talked to me. When it landed on him his baby blue eyes got so big, I almost wanted to laugh. I can’t wait till next period when I have class with him, Anabell, and sadly Layla. She does the same thing every period. Just like now. She sitting in the back of class with her doubles giggling and disrupting the class. Mrs. Howard has gave up all hope on getting them to work and is just letting them fail now. Yet I sit here gazing off into space and get yelled at for not answering a simple question.

“Allison!” Mrs. Howard is yelling.

“Yes Mrs.?” I reply startled by the yelling.

“ I asked you a question,” She says angrily.

“I… um … I did not hear the question,” I mumble.

“Well maybe you should listen more,” She darts to the other side of the room.

I sit back in the chair and try and hide myself. How humiliating. What if Max was in here and saw that. That wouldn’t have been as bad as who actually saw, Layla. What a way to end my life.

“Yea, Allison. Why don’t you listen. You should listen to me when I say that Max will never like you,” Layla looks at Lilly and giggles.

Oh how I hated the rich preppy girl giggle. My “giggle” if thats what you want to call it sounds like a horse on steroids. I’m glad that I don’t have a preppy girl giggle anyways that would mean I could be one of them and treating people like there nothing is not one of my best qualities.

“You don’t know what he thinks. I bet you’re just lying so me and him don’t get close, like you want too,” I awkwardly say regretting it right when it comes out of my mouth.

Layla stands out of her seat, “At least he has some interest in me unlike you, like in 3rd when he can’t even keep his eyes off of me.”

“Alright girls calm down,” Mrs.Howard jumps in the conversation.

I knew it was true. I have looked over enough and saw him staring at her to be able to see it. I just wish he would be able to see that I would actually like him back. I make sure not to tell Layla about six o’clock tonight. I do not want her messing the only night I have with him. He would surely never understand that I would like him after that. He would probably think I was a freak if I accidentally leaked it. Now I just need to learn to keep my big mouth shut.

The bell rings. I lightly jog to class not thinking about what had happened last period. If I really had to be honest with you I would tell you that deep down I did not care. Yes, it did slightly hurt, but life hurts you in some way or the other. The difference is if you stand right back up when it does. That is exactly what I am going to do, stand right back up.

I slip into Theater Arts just before the tardy bell rings. Everyday is a challenge because Theater is on the complete opposite side of the school from chemistry. This is still my favorite class of the day though and as a bonus I have it with Max. I take a seat in front of Anabell and pull out my note book.

“Hey girl, how was second with you know who?” Annabell nudges her head towards Layla.

“Well… lets just say i am more than glad Max is not in there so he doesn’t see me embarrass myself,” I respond and close my eyes.

“At least she doesn’t know you guys are going on a date!” Anabell giggles and grabs my face, “Oh my babygirl is growing up so fast. I’m so proud.”

I turn to hear what Mrs. Greenwell has to say.

“Okay class!” She says in a perky voice, “Today we are going to play a game with improvisation. Does anyone know what it is?”

Everyone looks around the room for answers. Out of all the posters on the wall she doesn’t even have one for the definition of improvisation. I glance at all the other kids looking for answers. My eyes meet Max’s. I’m not sure if I should look away or keep soul searching until he looks away. He doesn’t. I think Mrs. Greenwell notices this because we are two of the four people she calls up to demonstrate.

“Okay so improve is where you are told a scene and you make up the lines in the scene,” Mrs. Greenwell announces to the whole class and has us go up on stage, “Your scene is you all are trapped in an hotel elevator. Jack is a bodybuilder, Madison you are a preppy actress, Max and Allison you both are madly in love and don’t care if you get out or not.”

She must have had gave her hint to put us as the married couple. What if he thinks something about it? What if he thinks I told her to put us as a married couple? He’s walking up on stage. I wonder if he thinks that this is weird. He’s looking at me. Maybe I should walk up there. I guess it’s time to do this. I hope that I don’t mess this up.

“Okay, is everyone ready?” Mrs. Greenwell gestures to start.

I’m so nervous. I wonder if he can tell the sweat under my armpits. What if he just walks off stage and quits the scene. Max starts the scene.

“Woah, what was that?” Max advances toward Jack.

“I think the elevator stopped.”

I grab Max’s arm trying to be in the moment, since we are married and all. He doesn’t move his arm. Maybe he like it. He flexes. What the casual guy move.

“Do you think we will be able to get out?” I squeeze his arm a little tighter.

“Yes dear, We will be fine,” Max looks at everyone, “Maybe if me and Jack pull the doors open.”

“I have a hair appointment in twenty minutes whatever happens better happen fast,” Madison says trying not to laugh.

“Max grab the other side and pull.”

He slips out of my grip. I wished I could go back to that moment right then. I had been floating. His muscles were so big when he flexed. I watch him fake pull the door and slip a little while doing it. I decide to become more involved in the scene…

“Come on, you can do it.”

Madison joins in with the encouraging words.

“It’s just too heavy,” Jack fake drops the door.

Max returns his spot next to me. He turns and faces me and grabs my chin. I’m not sure what is happening right now. What if he is about to kiss me? Everything I can imagine is going through my head and then he speaks.

“Love of my life. If this elevator comes to a sudden fall and kills us both...,” Max gets interrupted.

“Not just you, us too,” Jack points to Madison.

“Okay, If it falls and kills all of us,”

I feel my heart beating faster and faster. I know this is just a small scene in theater class, but it feels so real.

“I am glad I met you when I did and if we make it I will be honored to spend the rest of my life with you. Everynight and everyday, us together. I hope you love me as much as I do at this very moment. I would do anything to know you love me too.”

My cheeks are bright red. I wonder if this is all true. Does he mean all of this? Does he really love me? This moment couldn’t get anymore perfect. The lighting on his hair. The sparkle in his eyes. He looks kind of sweaty, I wonder why?

“Yes, I do love you.”

“Good. I couldn’t live knowing you didn’t,” He grabs me and pulls me close.

“I’m going to end this now. I need out of here. Remember hair appointment,” Madison says in a preppy voice.

“Well… moving on from that. There is a hatch in the roof, we can lift Allison up and push her through,” Jack says feeling proud because he thought of something.

“Good idea!” Max smiles.

Jack and Max lift me up and I push on the ceiling tile attempting not to break it. Everyone in the class claps to end the scene except Layla obviously. The bell rings and I rush to get my things. It sucks that I don’t have anymore classed with Max. Me and him exit the room at the same time when he looks at me…

“I meant every word I said,” Max walks the other way and disappears in the middle of all the students.

Six simple words that make me want him all the more. Was it true? Is it just a game? What if it was true and he actually did love me.

Chapter 2

It took all I had not to turn around and see if she was looking back at me. I had put my full heart out there in front of the whole classroom to her and she didn’t seem phased. Does she even like me? I wonder if she knows that she is the most beautiful girl I have met. She has amazing blonde hair and wears it in curls all the time. She wears makeup on her face but not to much on her delicate tan skin. All I could do was sit there and stare; I had never saw anything more beautiful in my life. I’m so glad that Mrs. Greenwell put us together, it took a lot of convincing but it worked. I wonder if Allison had found out that I set that up. Stepping into my fourth period ,study hall, and I look around. All my friends in the back corner staring at some girl, Probably making jokes about her. No wonder she doesn’t like me. I hope at six I can convince her that I am really not a bad guy.

“Hey man,” Tommy jumps out of his seat and attacks me.

“Hey,” I say sounding all bummed out, “ Who’s the girl?”

“Johnny said she was hott. What’s up with you?” Tommy asks.

I knew he would be able to figure it out sooner or later. I was too deep in thought for him not to be able to tell something was wrong. He is my best friend, he knows my moods. Yet, I still sit here wondering if she likes me or not.

“It’s the girl isn’t it?”

He knows me way too well. It’s most of the time a bad thing. Him knowing what my feelings are just by my face.

“I asked if she would like to go to the mall with me, since we both got kool-aid all over our clothes ” I mutter.

“I was wondering what that was, so what did she say?” Tommy winks at me.

“She said yea, I am suppose to pick her up at six. I feel like such a fool, because I told her that I loved her in third. While we were on the stage. It didn’t seem to phase her,” I smile a little thinking about her.

“Did she end up saying anything to you?” Tommy questions, “Like after class?”

“No, but during the scene we did play a married couple so it all seemed to fit. If it did she just might have not understood.”

“If you want I can come over around five and talk to you about what to say.”

“Yea, that sounds fine.”

I glide across the floor and take my seat surrounded by my friends. I listen to Johnny talk about that girl, whatever her name is. She is quite pretty I can see why Johnny likes her. She has long brown hair, blue eyes, and an amazing laugh. She was very much not my type though. She’s broken. You can see the old cuts on her arm. Something Johnny doesn’t notice. Something he would like to fix, to save. This makes it easy to figure out why he is talking to her. I pull out my computer and start working on my english project.

“So, do you love her?” I hear Johnny whisper trying not to get caught by the teacher.

“What?” I reply.

“Allison. Do you love Allison?”

“Yes, I do. Atleast I believe I do. Why?”

“How do you know you love her?” Johnny gazes over at the girl he had been talking too. “Is it the way her hair bounces when you walk? Is it the way her voice flows smoothly with yours? How do you know if you do or not?”

“I guess it’s just being with her. Hearing her wonderful voice and the way her luscious smile lights up the room.” I smile thinking about it.

“I think I love Emily,” he laughs at thinking of the thought of actually loving someone.

“Are you sure? You just met her a few minutes ago.”

I don’t see where he is coming from. He had just met this girl, Emily, less than five minutes ago. How could he just say that he is in love? He falls in love way to easy I have learned the past few years, but now? Right now? He couldn’t be. He’s being dim witted, senseless, simple-minded, it’s not possible to say the word love after less than five minutes. Is it? Johnny is a good looking fellow, but that doesn’t mean she loves him back. Does it?

“Yes, I’m sure. Do you think it’s too soon?”

“I just think you need to make sure you really do, so she doesn’t hurt you.”

“I don’t think we are going to have a problem with that.”

“Okay, well I just think that you should think about it more.”

“Whatever you say man,” He nods and walks away.

I get back to working on all my other assignments that I haven’t completed for my classes. I still can’t stop thinking about Ally. She is an incredible woman. I wouldn’t change a single strand on her delicate head. What should I wear tonight? I feel like a girl thinking about that, but this date (If that’s what you want to call it) means everything to me. It could literally make or break my entire love life.

The rest of the day drags on. Only having one class with Allison really takes away from your day. Sometimes I wish we could just have the same schedule. I only see her on the bus, Third period, and on the street by our houses sometimes.

I rush to get on the bus so I can see her. While dodging all the people trying to get to Ally’s seat before Annabell gets to her, I bump into my neighbor and good friend Zach.

“Long time no see old friend,” Zach yells over the people and hits my back.

“It has been a while hasn’t it,” I mutter still trying to get back to her seat.

“Sit down and we can catch up some more.”

“Uh… I actually need to talk to someone about tonight,” I scratch my head and turn to see Annabell sit down with Ally. Opportunity missed. “Okay I’ll take you up on that, my plans changed.”

Zach and I talk about our families. How mine is a bunch of loonies wrapped up in a bundle and he has the perfect family, perfect girlfriend, perfect life. Sometimes I regret talking to him because he makes me feel so low. He has the perfect teeth, while mine are crooked and it feels like I need braces. I sound like a pig when I laugh and he sounds like the king. When we were younger we use to get along well and everything just worked between us. Now we are completely different yet we are still good friends.

We pull to a jolting stop in between Ally, Annabell, Zach, and my house. I step between Ally and Zach. She walks so prettily, her hair bounces every step she takes. Only four more hours till I have to pick her up to go to the mall. I watch her walk into her house, while I step into mine. I start getting ready right away. I do my Algebra homework first and finish it after about firteen minutes and then I hear a light tapping on the door I think its johnny but I still have three hours until I see him. I walk to the door wondering who it is. Opening the door i get a glimpse of Ally’s luscious smile.

“I know I'm early but my mom wanted to know when I would be back,”

“When does she need you back?”

“She needs to know if she needs to make dinner for or not,” Ally plays with her hair and leans her head toward the ground.

“Well the mall closes at nine so we should get back around 9:30, so if you want we can eat while we are there. If you would like too?”

“Of course I would! I mean sure I would, I will ask my parents.”

“Ok… I’ll see you in a bit then.”

I walk back into my tan room and throw my head back on my bed. How can she be just so perfect? What if she realizes that I’m not as good as all the other guys. Just when I thought I was getting it all right, or was at least going in the right direction, I realized I could mess this all up with just one date.

I start to fix my hair and I choose one of my nicer shirts out of my closet. A plaid red and blue shirt, with my new blue jeans, and Dan Post cowboy boots. Looking in the mirror I see every mistake, every flaw throughout my whole body. Do girls think this when there getting ready. I bet Ally doesn’t, she is as perfect as Megan Fox, no, she is even better than that. I hear the doorbell ring, atleast this time I know it is Johhny because it’s five o’clock. Opening the door Johnny walks in with a bright smile on his face

“Hey Max, are you ready?”

I want to tell him about how I know I’m going to mess this up, but I decide not to, “Yea… how do I look?”

“Very spiffy my friend, very spiffy,” Johnny laughs at himself. “So… What are you guys going to talk about?”

“Well I was hoping thats what you were here to help me with,” I wonder if I should even be talking about this with him.

“First off figure out what she likes,” Johnny thinks for a moment, “And then I guess you have to talk to her about those things.”

“That’s the problem, I don’t know what she likes.”

“Well… she’s a girl how hard do you think it can be to come up with a few things to talk about,” Johnny waves his hands around acting like he knows everything.

“She’s not just any girl. She is beyond that. It’s kind of like I feel that as if I know everything about her, but at the same time, I know nothing and still need to learn.”

“I see, I see. Well lets talk to Dr. Johnny about all of this,” He leans over and pats my back laughing.

“You might as well be a doctor considering how much I ask for your help all the time,” I laugh realizing that I really do ask him for a lot of help.

“Okay where can we start, Mr. Harvey,” Johnny acts like he is smoking a pipe.

“Well Dr. I have no clue what to talk to Ally about when we go to the mall which is in 45 minutes so this will have to be fast,” I play along hoping that he will give me some advice.

“We are back to the part where we need to know what she likes to figure out what to say,” Johnny nods his head in agreement with himself. “Hmm… what is her favorite color?”

“Um, I think it’s blue,” Is it blue? Maybe it’s a light green, or a dark red? How could I like a girl when I don’t even know her favorite color? Maybe this date or whatever it is isn’t a good idea. “Should I just cancel the date, say I got sick or something?”

“You have came so close to a girl you have liked all year. Which is technically only 4 months, but still this close and you want to give up. Why?” Johnny stares at me for the answer.
“I know that it seems silly to give up now, but I can’t even tell you her favorite color without questioning if I’m wrong. What if-” I get cut off by Johnny.

“What if nothing. What if her favorite color is blue. What if she thinks about you back. You don’t know anything about her because you guys don’t talk for a long period of time about yourselfs,” Johnny did have a point.

“Yes, but I just don’t want her to see me as this loser guy who messes everything up. Probably just like every other guys she meets.” I’m so nervous I am shaking. We only have 30 minutes and I still haven't found a good topic to talk about.

“You’re not just like every other guy, you’re my best friend so I would know. You are a huge goofball. You like any kind of food possible. You worry way too much. But you are a good guy and any girl would be lucky to have that.” Johnny can tell that I don’t believe him for a second. “I know I sound crazy but it is true and you should know that.”