Never Say Never

Hi, Kalyamarie!1
I agree that your main idea was a tad bit cliche, but cute just the same. Your rhyming scheme was very consistent. Yay!
But your rhythm and flow is slightly bothersome. It seems like you had to really stretch your words and lines to get the rhymes in the right place, sacrificing the flow of the piece.

When I met you, I found out what true love really was
Until this day, it amazes me what it really does

Here's a perfect example of your words getting tied up in rhymes. When you use "was," it implies that the action or description is over, done, deceased. Isn't their "true love" continuing? Even though the first part of the sentence is in a past tense, so to speak, the meaning of true love is still currently the same as it had been when the narrator found it.
"Until" makes me think that something has changed on this day. So, I read that as: "Before today, I didn't know how amazing love is, but suddenly today I know," which makes me wonder what happened that changed the narrator's mind. Perhaps you meant "to," or you could elaborate a bit.
The repetition of "really" sort of bugs me. It's a weak word in itself, and to use it twice in such close quarters is distracting to me. That's probably just me, though.
What is it that true love really does? It's like starting a sentence and trailing off. When you introduce the idea of "what true love really does," you need to describe to the reader exactly that. This is your opportunity to be really creative with the poem, with similes, metaphors, etc.

I've always loved you no matter what types of problems we were in at the time
Because I will always be yours, and you will always be mine

The rhythm suffered significantly here. I fumbled over the first line when I read it out loud. I think it's too wordy and sits uncomfortably in the mouth. I would take out some words and change others, maybe something like "I've always loved you despite our problems at the time." Obviously, our wording styles are different, but you get my point. It's up to you, though.

I know one day I'll get to be your wife#FF0000 ">,
Deticating myself to only you for the rest of my life

How does she know she'll be his wife? Why is she so certain?
The second line has the same problem of the last one I pointed out, though less severe. I think the main word that bothers me is "dedicating" (you had a small misspelling there). I think it's because it's sort of a cacophonous word in a euphonious poem, meaning it has a lot of harsh consonant sounds in a poem that's meaning is very harmonious and pleasing. It breaks the flow for me.

People #FF0000 ">said we will never last forever
But truth be told, never say never

Because the rest of the poem is in present tense, it would probably be best to use "say" instead of "said."


Try reading this out loud to yourself. That's a quick, easy way to discover where your flow is a little stilted. But overall, I thought it was a sweet poem. Try writing it without thinking about rhyming. Then compare the poems and see what it is you want to say, and what the rhymes constrict you to say. No one's forcing you to write rhyming poetry.

If you have any questions or comments about this review, I'm always happy to discuss it with you. Happy writing!
-Sea-