~Palm Tree #1~
H3ll0 there. My nam3 is Pa1m Tr33 1. :)
1 R3a11y 1ik3 th3 comput3r. It's LOADS of fun fun!
It's awfu11y hard to typ3, th0ugh... Mu5t b3 hard for y0u guy5 to s33 what I'm trying to say. S0rry. I hav3nt gott3n the hang of this y3t.
~Palm Tree #2~
Hello. My name is Palm Tree #2. I'm the shorter one, and probably the younger one. I was planted not too long ago, if it may seem to you. I've seen the big bycicles run around here and there. I talk very much to my friend, Palm. We're best friends.. I don't quite remember everything from my times, but I do know that one day, there was a very kind little girl that absolutely adored us. She was very young, I think. She was very small, too. She wasn't as big as the big bycicles. Well, the big bycicles picked her up from the little plot of ground everyday. She liked to sit quietly with us. And she never got scared when the wind blew hard and harsh into our faces. She would sit there, all the time.
Well, I really liked her. She always seemed to sit with us, not doing anything. She never brought books, or electronics, like the others did. She never did anything but sit, and think. She awfully did like to think. She stared at us, and thought and thought. But it was weird, because I could never find out what she was thinking about. All of us knew eachother's thoughts, but I couldn't... let's say... "read" her.
~Palm Tree #1~
L3t m3 continu3 th3 story, y3s? Hm... well.. I l3arn3d that the 1s and 0s and 5s ar3 not r3ally n33d3d. Anyways, Tr33 said that 3s ar3 v3ry important in life. And probably 2s too. I'm tir3d aft3r all this typing now, I shall go now, th3 girl is h3r3.
~Palm Tree #2~
Anyways... One day, another tree was planted, right in the middle of the both of us. I could never "read" it. It always sat there, quietly, but it was thinking, I could feel the unkown thoughts rush through me. What type of tree was this? And suddenly, I was sad. The girl never came back. And neither did I.
~Palm Tree #1~
WAIT I DON'T UNDERSTAND, TREE. What do you mean you never came back? Let me explain, the girl happened to be a witch, and she turned the both of us into boys, while she turned herself into a tree to replace us. But we still came back there, everyday, thinking how much we loved the girl, and how much the girl loved us.
~Palm Tree #3~
Aw, that's sweet.
~Palm Tree #2~
Let me requote to end this tale, "We still came back there, everyday, thinking of how much we loved the girl, and how much the girl loved us."
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hey there katngo
First off, I have to thank Palm Tree #1 for explaining what Palm Tree #2 said towards the end of the passage. It really cleared up my confusion and tied the story together.
This was definitely refreshing to read. It seemed more like two people, or trees, having a conversation with one another rather than a narrator explaining something that was happening, and I liked that. Also, because of the feeling of conversation, I felt like there was no need to correct any grammar or spelling.
You did, however, kind of ruin the mood with Tree #1 's explanation. Finding out the girl was a witch, and that the trees were turned into boys. The explanation itself was fine, it's just what he explained that I didn't like. I feel like it would've been much more enjoyable if you gave subtle hints as to what happened.
But I feel like that's too much of my personal opinion.
The story was great, and you made me love the tree's and their personalities.
Great work, and keep on writing
Hello Logowriters,
I want to say this is about your recent days abroad, but your work is always subject to extreme fluctuations of interpretation. So I will not focus on that. The story is good, you know that already. Even so, it's jarring and the saddest part is that you probably know that too, seeing as how you started with a sudden occurrence.
"Tr33 said that 3s ar3 v3ry important in life"
I think this line is gergony if you want then you can write it briefly. You can write this story in multi short stories like a next step of story which can you helps to go ahead.
You've shifted from your old stream-of-consciousness overdrive to a body of work dedicated to surgical precision and devoid of the acceptable excesses that make humans more than biological robots. Find a balance. Also, hello, and I hope you have been keeping well.
You've shifted from your old stream-of-consciousness overdrive to a body of work dedicated to surgical precision and devoid of the acceptable excesses that make humans more than biological robots. Find a balance. Also, hello, and I hope you have been keeping well.
Sorry dear, due to my mistake this paragraph is already submitted as a comment.
Hello Logowriters,
I want to say this is about your recent days abroad, but your work is always subject to extreme fluctuations of interpretation. So I will not focus on that. The story is good, you know that already. Even so, it's jarring and the saddest part is that you probably know that too, seeing as how you started with a sudden occurrence.
"Tr33 said that 3s ar3 v3ry important in life"
I think this line is gergony if you want then you can write it briefly. You can write this story in multi short stories like a next step of story which can you helps to go ahead.
You've shifted from your old stream-of-consciousness overdrive to a body of work dedicated to surgical precision and devoid of the acceptable excesses that make humans more than biological robots. Find a balance. Also, hello, and I hope you have been keeping well.
You've shifted from your old stream-of-consciousness overdrive to a body of work dedicated to surgical precision and devoid of the acceptable excesses that make humans more than biological robots. Find a balance. Also, hello, and I hope you have been keeping well.