I sat outside alone at The Fountain Cafe. Silently. Watching. I would occasionally look at the reflection from the pond beside the fountain of The Fountain Cafe,and I would see the moon in the bright afternoon sky. I sat so still a squirrel would occasionally come up and perch on my shoulder. At times people would give me questioning looks, with nothing from me but a shrug as my answer. I am Misty. Misty Marie Evergreen. A comical voice snapped me out of my deep concentration...
" Excuse me miss, but would you like your coffee hot or cold?" joked the waiter.
" Ice cold." I replied candidly.
" Ha,ha pretty funny eh?" said the waiter.
" I would like it cold,please." I told him.
" Alright, if you insist." he said with a frown. He walked away and a few minutes later, he appeared with a cup of cold coffee.
I took it from his hands and felt a spark of unknown energy. I knew it felt familiar, I just couldn't exactly tell why. I stood to leave, and he said something that surprised me.
" By the way, I know your little secret..." He whispered. Then he turned around and bid me farewell. He told me to be prepared but he didn't tell me what to be prepared for. I walked away, not knowing the long journey ahead of me. I tried to shrug it off. I peered at the windows reflection of the moon. Bright and ever-so white. I called out to Waterfall.
End of chapter
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141,368 Literary Works • 674,383 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well, that's a pretty cool little introduction there..., definitely setting up the atmosphere of this scene pretty neatly with that little description at the very start, not to mention that was a pretty cool little scene there to introduce the name of the character...and then we have a pretty funny question by this water here...unless of course this person was referring to ice coffee somehow.
Well, that was a pretty shocking move there...last thing you expect is for someone to actually want cold coffee and judging by the context of things that are going here, this person isn't exactly referring to ice coffee here.
Well I wasn't expecting that waiter to actually deliver just straight up cold coffee...but well I suppose they do treat their customers properly in that shop and just give them what they want there..which is pretty neat, but also...it makes for a pretty interesting details as to why this person would drink cold coffee...we've all drunk coffee that's cooled down...but..well, this is an interesting little quirk here.
Well, I suppose we'll soon find out exactly why this story is titled Waterfall judging by that ending. Other than that, well, it looks like our waiter isn't just someone looking to crack a joke here...there appear to be somehow connected to this mysterious person drinking cold coffee...and this is all just a really neat little cliffhanger to end things on here in this first part...it does seem like a story that I would read here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Thank you everyone who commented
I hope I made it better! I am thinking of canceling this book series because I don't like it. 
This is quite interesting so far! I have a couple suggestions, though...
" I would like it cold,please." I told him.
" Alright, calm down." he said with a frown. "Here! Fresh and cold."
Right there, you might want to change "I told him" to something more intense, like "I growled" or "I said in an exasperated tone", etc. I'm sure you could think of something better than my examples, of course.
And throughout, your writing would be even more intriguing if you used more vivid imagery. For example, after "Here! Fresh and cold" you could show him slamming the cup onto the table. Details are what give stories life and color.
Which leads me to another point...where did the waiter get the coffee from so quickly?
This is a great start and I can't wait to read the rest of the story once it's posted!
Sorry! I kind of forgot that coffee doesn't magically appear!
Anyways, as for the "I told him" part, Misty's voice was silent and emotionless. So I don't know what adjective to use there. Great review! By the way, I didn't quite understand what you mean by "vivid imagery"
By vivid imagery...I mean using a lot of detail, so you can picture everything in your mind. That's what my English teacher calls it
Anyway, the "I told him" part - why would he tell her to calm down if she was already calm? That's just what got me.
I just fixed the coffee giving part. But the waiter doesn't slam the coffee on the table since Misty takes it from his HANDS. But that would have been a good suggestion. And she has to take it from his hands for the 'spark of unknown energy' Do you have a suggestion for the 'I told him' part? She is supposed to reply emotionless.
perhaps... "I said, my face as blank as I could make it; but there was a tinge of annoyance coloring my breath." Weird, I know.
lol. She actually wasn't annoyed. Also I changed the "Alright, calm down" to "Alright, if you insist". he said with a frown."
Hello katiekatt, Cheetah here to review your prologue for you.
First of all, welcome to YWS! I liked the simplicity and peacefulness of this.
I am, as well, confused about why a squirrel would come up to her if she is inside a café. Is the café outdoors? Does she know the squirrel? If so, tell us!
This bit od dialogue confuses me. If the waiter himself was joking, then why did he say that she wasn't being funny when he thought she joked back? That seems kind of rude to me.
Overall, a little more story background would be nice. The point of a prologue is to share information that wouldn't come naturally elsewhere and to leave the readers wondering, but there's a balance between the right amount of information, and leaving us in the dark. With this, I think a little more background would definitely help.
Also, the café sounds fascinating and more description would be wonderful and would add another dimension that would help support the dialogue.
This was really good! Just add a few bits here and there, and this will be perfect. Thank you for sharing and keep writing!
Thank you so much Cheetah!
Yes, The Fountain Cafe has an outdoor area where she is sitting. About the squirrel, I was trying to imply that Misty was very, very silent and still and quiet. Sorry for the confusion! The waiter was expecting some giggles, but Misty had replied with a cold tone of voice, as if she was actually serious. However, if she were joking along, she would have a light, playful response right? I do, however agree that it is slightly confusing. The cafe is not very important. But if you want more information, The Fountain Cafe is a Cafe in Moonsky city. Which is where Misty lives. This wasn't supposed to be a prologue. I am really sorry I named it a prologue! To be honest, I kind of thought prologues were just beginnings of novels and books! 
And page 2 of the BEGINNING tells more about the protagonist. Misty.
Ahh, this makes so much sense! Thank you for the clarification.
No problem!
I will republish part 1. And I will publish part 2. btw, be prepared for a twist in page 2!
Great! I'll be sure to read it when I can!
I fixed lots of the parts!
Hello, katiekatt! I'm emjay here to review your short piece
Also, welcome to YWS!! This is a great writing community. I will review as I read it over again:
Since this is the prologue it makes sense that it is very short, but in the first chapter flesh out the exposition (main character and setting!) more and maybe give more background. Why is the protagonist sitting in this café and why is she in such a terrible mood? I hope you answer these questions in the rest of the book 
It is unnecessary and somewhat distracting to put the name of the café in quotation marks. It's perfectly fine to remove them
I find the sentence about the squirrel a bit confusing. Is there really a squirrel? Why is there a squirrel?
There are a few grammatical errors, but they are not overly distracting. For example, you do not have to capitalize "joked" after the waiter's comment. Also, there is an occasion in which you use "your" instead of "you're".
I like how you ended this with a cliffhanger and I hope you continue this story
Hi emjayc! Thanks so much! I am really sorry about the confusion. I am in 6th grade, but I love writing!
About the squirrel, I'm trying to imply that she is very, very, still and silent. As for the punctuation and grammar mistakes, I am slightly bad at punctuation. How to I include more background? I have written page 2, which reveals some info about the world she lives in. I know the first few pages might seem slightly random, is that okay with you? Also,he Fountain Cafe is outside. Which furthermore explains the squirrel. Thank you so much for being kind about my mistakes! 
Okay, I understand the part about the squirrel now
Maybe describe the cafe a little so the reader understands better? And the grammar is not too distracting, so don't worry about it too much. Rough drafts always have grammar errors. To include more background maybe just describe how she got to the cafe, why she's in there, things like that. Unless that is not important. And in a prologue things can be random as long as they connect to the rest of the story! 
The reason she's at the cafe in not important.
I fixed most of the mistakes you guys pointed out