The Council Chapter One

by katiehorsie

Published June 30, 2012

In The Council

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Thunder rumbled off in the distance as memories of that gloomy, stormy day came pouring back – a solemn crowd in black, caskets lowered into the ground, a little girl left alone in the world. After that day, she had sworn to never let it happen again. After that day, she had sworn to never forget what happened. After that day, she had sworn to avenge her family.

Now she was once again being pulled away from her home, from everything that she loved. “It has been a long time since you left, Catherine. It is time for you to return home,” The letter read.

Besides the steady pounding of rain on the roof, the house was caught in the silence of the night. Alone once more, she let the letter slip from her fingers.

A loud crash of thunder made her jump, shaking her from her thoughts of the past. She quickly picked the letter back up, read it over one last time, and then tucked it into a little brown leather book on the desk.

Catherine walked over to the bed and grabbed a black cloak that was lying across it. She flung it over her shoulders and fastened it with a gold, horse-shaped pin as she stalked out of the room: her only goal to slip out of the house unnoticed. Once she was out of the house, she did not know what she would do, but she took this one step at a time. She crept silently down a hallway and down a stairwell. Luckily the house was small, and she was outside quickly.

She closed the door softly behind her before turning around to look across the dark clearing the house was in. It was colder and darker outside than she expected; it did not bother her the slightest. She knew the clearing and the forest surrounding it like the back of her hand and the lightning helped light her way whenever it flashed across the sky.

She dashed across the clearing to a small building: the stables – her favorite thing in the clearing. It had eight big, roomy stalls that could each be divided in half if need be. It was always clean and tidy with all the stalls mucked out every other day and the empty stalls always ready for a horse. The aroma of leather, hay, and horse welcomed anyone who entered it. In other words, the stables were heaven to her.

The four horses, which had been dozing in their stalls, all nickered in greeting when she walked in. She greeted the two in the stalls closest to the door by name and with a quick pat. One was a big, grey stallion named Cavalier. The other was a smaller, bay gelding named Malish.

She then turned her attention to the other two horses that were in the back two stalls. She skipped down the aisle to one of the stalls that had a small, white mare in it and slipped into the stall. The mare nuzzled her shoulder gently, and Catherine rubbed the horse’s muzzle and hugged her, murmuring into the horse’s warm neck: “Hey Rain baby.”

Suddenly, another mare – this one slightly bigger than Rain and bay – started neighing. A small smile pulled at the corner of her mouth as she walked out of Rain’s stall and into the other horse’s stall.

The bay mare head-butted Catherine when she tried to enter the stall, then walked away to the far corner and began munching on a large pile of hay.

“Oh, so now you are going to ignore me?” Catherine questioned the horse and fully entered the stall, followed closely by Rain. “I love you, too, Nettie.”

She plopped down onto the pile of hay that Nettie had been eating, and the mare pinned her ears back and nipped at the girl.

“Yeah yeah yeah,” she muttered, pushing the horse’s head away before pulling her cloak around her.  

And so Catherine relaxed with the familiar feel of her horses nearby and was slowly soothed to sleep by the patter of rain on the room.


 

“Yo, Cat! Time to get up!”

“Go away Jason.” Catherine snapped.

“Get your lazy arse up before I feel the urge to make you.” Jason replied.

“I’ll bite you.”

“Very scary.”

“Get lost.”

She heard Jason walk away and had dozed off when someone dumped a bucket of water on her. Even though she was wet, Catherine barely even flinched and simply said, “Really Jayjay? Do you really want to start this?”

She heard Jason chuckle and finally opened her eyes and sat up. The sixteen year old was leaning against the side of the stall with a smirk on his face and an old bucket by his feet. His light brown hair was its normal mess of curls.

“Look who finally decided to wake up,” he said smugly.

She ignored his comment and looked around the stall again. “Where did Rain and Nettie run off to?”

“Oh, those devils? They’re out front doing whatever it is they do.”

Catherine stretched leisurely before standing up and facing Jason. “Now, care to explain why you decided that it would be a brilliant idea to dump a bucket of water on me?” she asked sweetly, cocking her head to the side.

“Well,” He replied, ruffling her wet hair, “You just looked so cute laying there asleep that I couldn’t pass up the chance to show you what your adorableness does to people.”

 “Mhm. But, of course, since you insist on calling me ‘Cat,’ I may have to react like a wet cat.”

“I am utterly terrified.”

“You should be trembling in fear.” She stalked out of the stables and into the yard, where she saw all four horses grazing. Jason followed closely at her heels. “You are proving my theory that you are part dog.”

“Last time I checked I wasn’t.” He said.

“Mhm… Then why do you always follow me around like an overly loyal dog?”

“I have nothing better to do. Anyways, it’s funny to see the stupid things you do.”

“Get lost,” She shoved him to the side and took off towards the house at a sprint.

“Evil!” He shouted before running after her.

She barged into the house, laughing her head off, and stopped dead when she saw Joseph standing in the entry with his arms crossed. Jason froze as well when he entered the house.

“Just what are you two doing? And why are you all wet?” He said, giving Catherine his stern, I-am-in-charge look.

“Jason decided it would be funny to dump a bucket of water on me.” She replied, looking at the man. Joseph looked to be about thirty and had rusty, brown hair that looked as if he cut it himself. He was also about a foot taller than Catherine, although it was not Joseph that was tall; Catherine was just short.

“It was revenge for her stealing my knife… again,” Jason said in his defense.

“Or, perhaps, you lost it… again,” Catherine mimicked him.

Joseph sighed and ran a hand through his ragged hair. “The two of you are going kill each other. Now go up to your room and put something dry on.” He shooed Catherine away towards the stairs before turning to face Jason. “As for you, why do you do stupid things that annoy Catherine when you know it makes her mad?”

“I find it entertaining.”

Joseph raised an eyebrow. “Then I will hear no complaints that she is in a bad mood.”

“But that’s exactly why I do it. I like ruining her day,” Jason said, as he headed up the stairs to his room, leaving Joseph standing alone in the little entry room.

“I swear,” he muttered to himself, “Those two are going to be the death of me.”

 

When Catherine came back down the stairs after changing into dry clothes and wrestling her long hair into a braid, she found Joseph sitting at the table in the small kitchen that also served as a dining room. He was studying a set of maps while unconsciously twirling a quill in his hand. She silently leaned over his shoulder to look at the maps as well.

“Has anything changed?” She inquired.

Joseph shook his head. “Our sources still have yet to report any changes in positions.”

“Have you seen this?” She asked, tossing the letter from last night onto the maps.

He picked it up and read it quickly. “Yes. He sent one to me as well.”

She flopped down into the chair next to him. “Did he say anything that he didn’t say to me?”

Joseph shook his head. “Besides him wanting me to accompany you back and stay for a while, he didn’t mention anything else.”

“Ah.”

“Have you eaten anything today?” He asked her, setting down the letter and turning back to the maps.

“No.”

“And you did not eat dinner last night either, did you?”

She shook her head. “I forgot.”

“You have to eat something,” Joseph turned his attention back to the maps.

She shrugged, rose, and walked over to the little kitchen area was. She grabbed a loaf of bread that was sitting on the counter and ripped off a chunk. She ate it methodically, tearing off little pieces to pop into her mouth, as she watched Joseph scratch notes onto a piece of parchment that was laid out beside the maps.

“When are we going to leave?” She asked when she finished.

“Leave for where?” Jason questioned as he entered and ripped a chunk of bread from the loaf for himself and leaned against the counter next to Catherine.

Catherine hit Jason’s shoulder. “Please tell me that this creature is not coming with us.”

“Actually, Jason is coming with us, and we leave tomorrow; he wants you there sometime in the next two week.” Joseph said.

“Yet again, where are we going?” Jason asked again.

“To a magical land of faeries and pixies,” Catherine replied.

“To Friedan actually.” Joseph said.

“Why?” Jason asked confused about why they would go to the capital of the kingdom.

 “The usual Council stuff. With the prince’s wedding in about a month and a half, they will want more Council members around.” Joseph stated it as if it should be obvious.

Catherine closed her eyes and tilted her head back a bit as Joseph continued: “Then, with that said, Jason, need some clothes appropriate for court.”

“Jason? At court? He needs more than just new clothes. He lacks the proper etiquette expected of one at court and has no idea how to act whilst there. On top of that, he doesn’t even know how to do something as simple as dance. How could you possibly think that he could survive there?” Catherine asked.

“I’ll leave the task of teaching him such things up to you.”

“Ugh. He’ll just be mean to me the entire time.”

“Oh, boohoo. I won’t just be mean to you. I’ll make your life living hell.” Jason responded with a smirk.

“You know… Now that I think about it, it would be nice to try to make you more of a gentleman. You really do need help with things such as honesty and chivalry.” she shot back.

“I will have you know– “

“Both of you,” Joseph cut Jason off, “Be quiet. You are annoying me.”

“But what about Cat? I doubt a girl could run around in armor or pants all day.”

“Catherine’s… guardian is seeing to that.” Joseph said carefully.

“Guardian?” Jason asked.

“It’s nothing. I’m going for a ride.” Catherine stalked out of the room and slammed the door behind her when she exited the house.

Jason looked at Joseph. “It is not my place to explain,” Joseph stated. “Talk to her if you want to know, and be ready to leave tomorrow at dawn.”

Jason stood silently, waiting for Joseph to say something else, but Joseph just turned his attention back to the maps.

I have lived with these two for almost two years now and I still know little more than nothing about them, Jason thought. At first their secretiveness had upset him, but then, after he got to know them, he realized that they didn’t care about a person’s history or family. They never pried into his past life, and he had finally accepted that – since they found it unimportant – they found no reason to share such things with others.

Even though he no longer really cared that much about it, he was still curious about Catherine and Joseph. Catherine had been with Joseph when he had come to live with them. He had been confused because he had thought that she was Joseph’s daughter, but Joseph looked too young to be her father. The two had been twenty-eight and thirteen then. He remembered when he had asked Catherine about it. She had laughed her head off at the notion of Joseph being her father.

Although she had said no, she gave no details to her relation to Joseph – that was if they were even related. When he had asked Joseph why she was living with him, he had simply said that it was for much the same reasons that Jason was living with them.

And so he had eventually given up, but the way Catherine had acted during their conversation just now made him wonder who she really was.

Determined to finally find out, he followed her out of the house. When he stepped out onto the front porch and caught sight of her tacking up Nettie, he hesitated. Quite honestly, there was a certain aura of authority and confidence around her that made him nervous sometimes. She always seemed so regal and powerful to him, and it had always been a nagging mystery in the back of his mind.

He took a deep breath and walked over to her. “Hey,” he said.

Catherine looked up at him.

He cleared his throat. “Can I talk to you?” He asked nervously.

She turned her attention back to the saddle she had been putting on Nettie and answered “Sure.”

“Will you tell me about this “guardian” of yours? At least something?”

He saw her eyes widen in surprise, but just as quickly as they widened, she masked over her expression.

 He waited, expecting her to say something, but when she didn’t reply, he continued. “Is there some relation between you and Joseph? I thought he was in charge of you. Why are you living with him if he isn’t? Also, you’re acting as if you have been to Friedan before. Have you? More specifically, have you been to court? And you are acting… strangely, I think is the best word to call it, about the whole thing.”

She sighed. “Does it matter?”

“It does to me,” He replied, looking at her. His eyes traced the familiar shapes of her face: the high cheekbones, the pointed chin, the slightly upturned nose.

“Joseph is actually my uncle. Besides Joseph and I, my entire family is dead. While Joseph is technically the head of our family, due to several complications and family matters, I have a guardian appointed to care for me until I either marry or turn eighteen. As for visiting court before, I lived there for five years.” She had stopped messing with the tack and was looking at Jason.

“You say that like none of it matters.” He was more confused now than he was before, but he was trying to hide it.

Catherine started walking towards the stables to grab Nettie’s bridle, leaving Jason to follow her and Nettie to walk off and munch on grass.

“It doesn’t.”

“It seems like it’s hard for you to talk about it.” They had entered the stables.

Grabbing the bridle off of a hook, Catherine met his eyes. “That may be so, but it still doesn’t matter. I have a duty I was born and raised to do, and that is all that matters now.” She walked back out of the stables and called Nettie. The mare pricked her ears forwards and trotted up to her.

 “And what is this ‘duty’?”

She shrugged and, while bridling Nettie, she replied, “You will know soon enough.”

“Do you not trust me?”

“It’s not that. It’s just that I don’t want to think about it right now.”

“Well, we will probably come back soon after the prince’s wedding. We won’t have to be there for long, and then we can go back to living normally.”

Catherine swung up onto Nettie’s back. “I don’t think I will be coming back here, Jason.”

With that, she galloped off.

 

Later that day, after Catherine got back, she and Jason were in the yard, covered in sweat. She had disarmed him again. “Nine in a row.” She winked at him. “Want to go again?”

“Don’t get cocky. I will beat you this time.”

“Dream on.”

They began to circle each other again, swords held at the ready, waiting for an opening. Then, Jason charged Catherine. She sidestepped before parrying his blade off to the side, allowing most of the force and momentum to follow. Prepared for the trick, he swung the sword back while following his previous stroke through, this time lower where her guard was weaker. After that, they became a flurry of twisting, turning figures with the clashes of their swords ringing out.

They continued this way for about five minutes before she knocked the sword from Jason’s hand.

“Ha. I win again.” She lowered her sword with a smug grin on her face.

He tackled her at that, causing her to squeal and drop her sword. They tumbled down to the ground where they proceeded to playfully wrestle. They were both laughing and every now and then Catherine would let out a squeal.

Eventually, Jason overpowered her and pinned her to the ground below him. “I believe I win.”

“No fair.” She stuck her tongue out at him. “You are almost twice my size.”

He chuckled at the truth of the statement. The top of her head only came up to his mouth, and she probably barely weighed one hundred pounds. “That is because you are a scrawny little creature.”

“I like being a ‘scrawny little creature’.”

“I like you being one as well, just because I can do this.” He was smiling down at her.

“Because you are a pervert.” She retorted.

He snorted. “You only wish I had any interest in you.”

“I think you are lying. Every man in this world finds me completely irresistible,” She purred.

“Oh really?” He started to tickle her.

“Stoppit!” She shouted, squirming and laughing.

“Not until you say that I am the greatest person in the world.”

“Not,” She gasped between laughs, “Even in your dreams.”

“Well then, I guess I will just have to keep you here and tickle you until you give in.”

She was laughing to hard to respond; her attempts to push him away were in vain.

“What are you two doing?” Joseph had just walked out of the house and was watching the two.

“He will not get off of me!” Catherine shouted. Jason laughed at her.

“Go pack your things for tomorrow or do something that does not involve hurting each other.” Joseph said.

“Fine.” Jason got off of Catherine and walked away. “I’m going to the river.”

“We shan’t miss you,” She called after him.

“And both of you, remember we leave at dawn tomorrow. No later.” Joseph reminded them.

“Yeah yeah,” The teenagers replied in unison.

Comments & reviews · 7
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HorriBliss
Review
HorriBliss wrote a review Review · Jul 3, 2012

This piece highlights the importance of proof-reading, and going over your story to look for errors! I've skimmed over the obvious flaws such as saying 'women' instead of 'woman, etc. and just highlighted anything that I'd consider 'major'. Just so you know, I liked the story, I think it was pretty good, not my personal style, but I'll try to remain objective for the purposes of this review.

"It was here that Catherine had learned everything from how to survive and how to fight to past kings and famous poets; it was here that she had grown from a cute, awkward, and clumsy child to a elegant, beautiful, graceful young women. Now she had to leave everything she had grown to love and rely on." - as the previous reviewer has noted, this feels clumsily added in and not natural at all to the story, which makes it stand out like an awkward kid at a party. There's nothing wrong with giving backstory, but this is a case of 'too much, too quick, too soon': the other time you give backstory is between Joseph/Jason/Catherine's relationship and that feels far more natural and cohesive to the story.

"With only four bedrooms that were all upstairs, a small kitchen, and a dinning room that also served as a sitting room, she was to the front door quickly." - yet again, this is another frivolous detail that I feel doesn't need to be here. If she is simply exiting by the door, why distract the reader with unnecessary details about upstairs?

"She heard Jason walk away and had dozed off when someone dumped a bucket of water on her. Even though she was wet, Catherine didn’t move..." - although I get that you're trying to characterise her as tough and hard-as-nails, I really don't see how anybody could overcome their natural bodily reaction to flinch in this situation. This detail just makes it seem that Catherine's in fact a robot more than human, rather than created a feeling of a strong, ambivalent teen.

"I have a guardian appointed to care for me until I either marry or turn eighteen." - just a little historical note here, that if this story is set in Medieval times, then the age of adulthood probably wasn't 18. I'd even go so far as to guess that Catherine would be considered an 'adult' by now.

Overall, it's a pretty good piece, and while I've only highlighted the negatives above, there are a lot of positives to draw out also. The dialogue is excellent, the characterisation is too, with a strong sense of all 3 character's personalities - which I struggle with myself! The added backstory outside of the initial clumsy paragraph, is well-placed and feels natural to the narration, so I'll praise you for that also.

So, well done, on this piece, there's just a few hiccups here and there but other than that it's well-written and well-developed; well done!

Thank youuu. I was planning to rework that little back story in later on because it does parallel to part of her life a while back. And the point of her not reacting is kind of working with her and jason's relationship of her being so used to him doing things like that that she no longer reacts.
As for characterization, if you do struggle with it, just spend time in your head thinking of the characters and what they would do in different situations and the things they would say and such. I have spent endless hours doing that with my characters before I even attempted writing about them. ^^

And it is now all fixed

User avatar
Sachiko
Review
Sachiko wrote a review Review · Jul 2, 2012

Hello there!

As this is most likely a first draft, I'll mostly focus on things such as characterization, not so much writing style, though yours appears to be clean cut and streamlined, so yay for that!

Okay. The first thing that strikes me is WHOA, TEXT BLOCK! In future, you may want to try separating the paragraphs from each other? It makes it a lot easier on the eyes. :)

The second thing that strikes me is in the beginning. There's a lot of history, also known as info dumping. The paragraphs about her past, how she grew up, I find them to be out of place and unnecessary, at least at this point. It's a bad idea to dump that kind of information on the reader first thing in the story! If this is just a first draft, that's understandable that you would want it there for your own reminding, but I assure you that the story loses nothing if you remove it.


“It’s nothing. I’m going for a ride.” Catherine stalked out of the room and slammed the door behind her when she exited the house.
Jason looked at Joseph. “It is not my place to explain,” Joseph stated. “Talk to her if you want to know, and be ready to leave tomorrow at dawn.”
Jason stood silently, waiting for Joseph to say something else, but Joseph just turned his attention back to the maps.


You have the point of view shift here, from Catherine to Jason. It jarred me a little bit, and I had to read it a couple of times to realize what had happened.

All in all, this looks promising! The only other thing that strikes me is the way they speak. I'm assuming this takes place in an alternate, vaguely medieval universe, and yet they talk like 21st century teenagers. Of course, this could just be the way things are in this particular world, but it just struck a chord with me, that's all. That might also be the reason you're avoiding using contractions [i.e you're using 'you are' as apposed to 'you're'], but it makes the speech sound a little awkward at times.

I hope I helped, even a little! My reviewing skills are a little rusty. :)

Sachiko

You're review is very helpful. And yes, it is kind of medievalish, so I am trying to mess with how the people speak based on their backgrounds (though I did get tired of trying to phrase things as unawkwardly as possible, so I changed lots of it back to contractions). Also, I do jump points of view a bit. It's just my style, and with the whole random background, I am trying to create the feeling of how attached Catherine is to that place. It is kind of like a parallel thing to something that comes up later on.

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Sachiko
Comment
Sachiko commented Comment · Jul 2, 2012

Sachiko replied · Jul 2, 2012

Aha, WOW, that was embarrassing! Review to be forthcoming, I promise. ;)



You can not put the entire Bee Movie in the quote generator.
— alliyah