Mother's Love

by kathiiiix3

Published April 18, 2013

E - Everyone
You are the sun I am the light I reflect a different generation of you As I get older. You do too. Our lives change every day whether you see it or not. You are here, but not forever I am here… But not forever When you are gone Just know That you’re leaving a piece of you, with me Life isn’t a piece of cake Especially, when mommy isn’t there All I need is the nurturing and care from that warm piece of yours. There’s nothing like a mother’s hug. There’s nothing like a mother wiping away your tears. I need you, to be here I need you, to care for me I need you, to love me I need you, to save me from any misery I just need you, so much in life. It doesn’t matter… How many times I have denied it. I will always NEED you.
Comments & reviews · 4
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PumpkinCat
Review
PumpkinCat wrote a review Review · May 8, 2013

Hello, PumpkinCat here with your review of "Mother's Love". First off I really liked this it really does reflect how people feel towards their mother as they progress through they life like "It doesn't matter... how many times I have denied it" I really understood that part, (well mostly because of teen years) One thing I noticed straight away is that you need stanzas. Stanza really help in poetry they help you read it and feel it better. You see when you don't have stanzas the words look like a huge jumble and it looks really long and boring when that happens, but if you had stanzas it looks appealing to the the eye and it also gives you breathing room in between stanzas if your reading it aloud. Another things is grammar sometimes you have words capitalized that you shouldn't have capitalized like for example: "Just know That you're leaving a piece of you, with me Life isn't a piece of cake." Now I just want to say that is very true how life is not a piece of cake quite the opposite actually, what I noticed that was wrong that these words shouldn't be capitalized, That and Life. Now that's only an example of some words I found I'll leave the rest up to you since I try not to be too critical. Well, anyways great poem 6/10

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Diana2357
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Diana2357 commented Comment · Apr 30, 2013

Kat, this is very sweet and true. Kat, I found a few grammar errors that made it hard for me to follow so I had to reread twice. Also, I would polish this a little by adding more descriptive language for example, "All I need is the nurturing and care from that warm piece of yours", perhaps you can specify what you mean by "piece". However, you did express your emotions of the "need of mother's love" quite nicely. Keep writing. Hurtado

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lribbon914 Comment
lribbon914 commented Comment · Apr 19, 2013

The idea is good but I would recommend that you put some more to it.
You can always add more substance and voice to your topic
You could express times when you felt that you didn't need your mother and you were ready to leave the nest and then you could write about how much you realize that it's a tough world out there and you are never too old to hide behind your mother's skirt.

It's good just needs substance and feeling!

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beastly361
Review
beastly361 wrote a review Review · Apr 18, 2013

Amen! Everyone needs a mother`s love to live life to the fulliest! One thing, if this is a poem, make sure you re-read this after copying and pasting it to the site. Sometimes (or most times), the sites pushes all the words together making our work look like a mess. I know that is not true for you or anyone but it helps to be helped. But keep up the good work!



You're given the form, but you have to write the sonnet yourself. What you say is completely up to you.
— Madeleine L'Engle, A Wrinkle in Time