i was hopeing to make one a bit longer but im not shure...i got so meany started now and im re-writing my "arora" soon aswell...it's gona be good ( i think...i hope...)
sorry i misread the question it's gona be in scyupt form, most likely
“Damn those goons, Will someone get in here and loosen there cuffs. damn it Mitch what are you smiling about”
“Don't worry he'll be here soon enough. Just try and relax”
“Relax. No way Mitch , I'm tired of getting saved by that bastard”
“That bastard has saved your ass more times then you can count. I think you should show him some respect for all that he's done for you”
“Will the two of you shut the hell up for one minuet, I almost got my cuffs off”
“Here let me help you whit that”
“How the hell did you get in here so fast?”
“Not telling you. Anyway we got to get out of here in less then 3 minuet's”
“What did you do this time”
“Lets just say theres a class three mine in the air vent.”
“WHY THE HELL...”
“There'll be lots of time to talk about that when were OUTSIDE, now let's go”
“So how exactly do we get out of here?”
“Well about that...”
“Please tell me , you have a plan”
“He got a plan, he just don't know what it is yet. Right”
“Exactly”
“I got a plan, lets take the fire exit”
“YAY, we got a plan, but it seams to easy for there to be an exit right there, one would think it would make the story to short...o well”
for the full story se my S.E.T 17 ( not here yet...)
i was hopeing to make one a bit longer but im not shure...i got so meany started now and im re-writing my "arora" soon aswell...it's gona be good ( i think...i hope...)
sorry i misread the question it's gona be in scyupt form, most likely
I chose two random names, don't worry, so I have nothing against Mitch. And that was only really because I didn't know the second person's name and... yeah. 
Kind of weird.
Are you planning on putting this in script form or story form?
#1 I know I have REALY bad spelling and grammer.
#2 the brown text is for Mitch not Harry
#3 I wrote it like that because i tryed the other way and no one liked it
#4 I will fix the collor problom and put the names in when I get a chance
#5 I have plans to make a MUTCH longer one later but my mind twisted and I made the fire exit..
Er... you might want to think about making this grammatically correct, i.e., put punctuation and capitalize things. And why is it so colorful?
Okay... onto the story!
I like the dialogue because it's very distinct and sharp. And we like sharp dialogue. I think the different colors are for different people? Anyway, to make this better, instead of using different colors, you can either make this a play format and say like... um...
GEORGE: “Exactly”
HARRY: “I got a plan, lets take the fire exit”
Or you can say:
“Exactly,” George said.
“I got a plan," Harry began, "let's take the fire exit.”
And you can also add some description and so on. But beef this up! You're really good at dialogue... now work on description. 
And don't worry! You really don't have to have colors. The dialogue stands for itself.
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