Published November 6, 2011
there was this dog how was married and two kids one day the two kid dogs ran in frant of the car and dired two mouths later his wife dired and he lost everthing
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There was this dog who was married and had two kids. One day, the two kid dogs ran in front of a car and died. Two months later, his wife died, and he lost everything." I tried to make sense of your words.
how needs to be who
'There was this god who was married and two kids... and two kids makes no sense
Frant should be front
Dired should be died
Mouths should be months
Honestly this is an utterly confusing poem. If you try rewriting it completely perhaps it would be decent. Im not going to say its too short. Ive seen poems shorter than this. Its just it has no depth, doesn't make any sense, and uses no correct grammar at all. It needs a lot of work before one can even considers this literature.
This is the best poem I have ever seen. Keep it up
ok thanks guys
Um... I didn't understand this. At all. The reason being that many words were incorrect and it was so short that I was just baffled by all of it. Maybe look over this, think about what you're going to write, and then take action that way. For one. Your title should be capitalized. And how, should be replaced with Who. I'm not really sure if any of that was intentional...? But yeah... take your time when you write.
Hi Kaitemay. I don't understand what you are trying to say. You may want to consider working on your grammar and spelling. On YWS, we use proper grammar, spelling and punctuation.
, should be "The Dog Who lost Everything".So, your title,
Your poem should read something like this: "There was this dog who was married and had two kids. One day, the two kid dogs ran in front of a car and died. Two months later, his wife died, and he lost everything." I tried to make sense of your words.
Additionally, there is no such thing as a "kid dog", we call a "kid dog" a "puppy" or "pup".
You may want to check out some grammar books and brush up on your grammar and spelling, so people can understand you better. We all have a message we want to share with the world, but when that message is clouded with grammar issues, it becomes distorted and the meaning becomes lost. Think of your favorite author and see how he/she structures his/her sentences. Reading a ton of published works will help you significantly. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me. Happy Writing!
-Crescent