She was running.
I could see her blonde hair whipping against her lower back, her
striking legs flashing against the foliage. She had gotten so
delightfully pale in these past couple of months, but now my game was
over.
There was a knife sitting comfortable in the palm of my
hand, my fingers clenched comfortably near the base of the blade. I
could hear her panting, could imagine puncturing a hole in her lung,
and then listen to her breathing fail.
The very image overwhelmed
me and I stopped playing around. My legs were longer than hers by
plenty of inches, so I quickly had her in the fist of my left hand,
clutching her shirt and yanking her back. I had picked her up only to
slam her thin body into the ground.”
This part of me is a
bit separate. I can watch and enjoy his doings but I prefer not to
participate myself. I remember the gold of her hair, reflecting the
glory of the setting sun. Her eyes were the strangest combination of
green and blue, so bright, so broken…
Her skin was soft,
giving, and so easy for him to simply drive the knife up under her
ribcage. He knew well enough how to position the blade to go right
into her lung, feeling air rush from the puncture would and wash over
his hand along with a sharp spray of blood. He moved his left hand
over her collarbone and his is when I was back. There was a
handkerchief in my pocket and I used that to wipe the blood off his
hand and wrist. I flexed out fingers, turning the knife between
them, thinking about how easy it was to switch between him and I. I
was watching her light fade, feeling her presence slipping before the
knife sailed, burying itself into her skull until someone would
stumble upon her dead body. I grinned, turning away from the corpse
of such a beautiful little thing. She may have been the simplest kill
in a very long time but she was also so easy to break. It made the
fiasco almost boring.
I sighed, moving my way through the woods
quickly to get back into my car, leaning my head back and closing my
eyes. The headrest was gentle velvet, rubbing my ear with a
silk-like feel but without the tugging on the bits of skin. He would
only last a week; mostly by the way the high from the kill seemed to
be fading from him already. He needed a tougher one, one who would
fight us to the very end, and then I could carve her, express her
fight even in death.
~
She had dark hair, draped around her
face like a curtain. I’d always adored long hair. She was a bit
plain, her eyes as dark as her hair and her lips bordering on
average. She had a beautiful nose, and she was slightly curvy though
most certainly not the most beautiful we had chosen. However, he
could read her like a book, see that fire in her eyes at the bit of
attitude the strongest women possessed.
We watched her work for a
long time before I exited and walked into the expensive little
restaurant she worked at. I smiled as she led me to a table in her
section, sitting down and watching her from our lonely corner. When
she talked she had a gentle, very quiet voice but it was twanged
slightly with an accent we couldn’t accurately describe or
place. Still, I could feel him sitting in a part of me, and I knew he
wanted to discover her and rip her apart, remake her to express her
in life. He was thinking and I simply pushed the fiery, bloody images
from my main mind. I couldn’t express our passion to thieve her
life away, especially his to position her perfectly for someone to
find.
While he was thinking and planning, I was finishing up my
part which was making small talk. I could sense an edge to her,
something saying she was extremely eager to leave but it didn’t
express when she would be leaving. I sighed as I left, dropping an
exceptional tip before I made my exit. I got in my car and waited,
smirking a bit.
He was ravenous, mostly since the last kill have
been so quick and easy it was disappointing at the very thought a day
later. The easy kill was disturbing to him now, though I preferred to
enjoy the easier ones. They were much quieter and prettier; the
heart-stopping kind of pretty ones always tended to be easier to snap
at the very core of their beings.
Eventually the waitress exited
the restaurant, the sun shining on her naturally tanner skin. He
rarely got as excited as he was now, and I was having trouble
controlling him.
We had already disabled her car, and he
especially got a kick out her frustration at the lack of the engine
starting. He smirked with our mouth, and I felt the car door handle
in my grasp. Well, I prefer not to feel the trauma when the feisty
but up a fight, so I least remember the moments when my hands, whilst
under his control, grasp over her mouth and nose. My other arm pinned
her hands to her sides and then lifted her up. She fought like hell,
thrusting her body forward, side to side, kicking her legs out and
screaming into his hand. He simply shoved her forehead into the
corner of the hood of the car, snickering when she went limp. He
pulled back, watching the mark slowly turned red before he reached
into his pocket and pulled out a small bandage. He patted it over the
blood spot before it could drip anywhere. Then we picked her up,
carefully setting her in the back of the car. I made sure none of the
many cameras were directly trained on me, and my license plate was
carefully turned around so I had one, just not on right. He tied the
seatbelts around her in such a way she couldn’t escape.
And
then I drove us home.
~
Blood. There is was, spattered all over
the walls of this stupid little shack.
her skin was carved, all
words important to him. He smirked, enjoying the fear in her eyes. Oh
no, she hadn’t been permitted to die just yet. Our name to the
public is Richard Evans, but I prefer the name john.
John doe, the
term for an unknown male corpse. I liked being thought of as an
unknown first.
There was a mirror in here, and I’m pretty
sure Richard had done it while setting up the place. I’d pretty
much covered the glass in blood, mostly because that’s how we
had full conversations with each other.
“John! Just kill her
already! Don’t you remember I’m cleaning this
up!?” I could hear him yelling, angry at the mess I was making
of this place and the girl. There was a laugh building in throat,
euphoria overwhelming me as I looked at the blood coating my hands.
Her eyes were delightfully full of fear, and it only pushed me to
the point if hysteria. I moved forward, grinning as I picked up
something, a brand new knife from the feel of the handle. I pulled
her face in closer, smirking. She struggled against my, but she was
hogtied and I was in the middle of my game.
I pressed the knife to
the roof of her mouth, clenching my muscles. The knife didn’t
budge at first, but then is made a small crunched sound and it was
one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done. Still, I
felt the crack followed by a soft, squishing sound, like stepping on
a piece of food with the sole of your shoe. Blood drenched down over
my hand and I grinned, my ears ringing with the shrill sound of her
screams.
I sighed, staring at the light bruising of where her
teeth had bitten into my skin. I smirked, pulled her eyes to mine.
There was no iris in those eyes anymore, her pupil had completed
expanded, a beautiful pit of darkness. I couldn’t stop staring
at those pits, until Richards annoyingly deep voice started
interrupting my trance.
“Shut Up!” I yelled, my voice
deep and full of rage. I picked up a tool, which happened to be the
handle of the knife. The blade was still lodged in the girls head,
through when I had went to twist it to make another exciting noise it
broke off the handle. I was breathing hard, frowning at the shattered
mirror . I groaned, my enjoyment completely ruined by his insistent
voice.. Richard was still yelling from the shards and now winning
over our body. We had about the same strength, mind and body wise,
but I ached to have my own body, the privacy of living in a single
body...
The thought of being able to walk past a mirror and not
need to have a conversation with it was so strong it almost
hurt…
~
John, I don’t know why he so morbidly
called himself that, was sulking in a corner of our mind. I had just
finished burning all the things drenched with blood. A sigh escaped
me, followed by a frown aimed at the floor. The UV light was shining
over the blood-soaked spots of the room. The light bouncing
practically off every inch of the room, even the ceiling! I was too
tired to go over and over until all the DNA was expelled, especially
since I’d do it too many times as a precaution, but we were
never caught.
I groaned as I turned and stormed out of the shack
and into the darkness of the woods. I had no idea how he couldn’t
been so gruesome with her but it got worse with each kill, and he
craved more and more. I was tempted to just find a dumb little run
away and throw her in a cage so he could have his fun with her but
he’d probably just killed her in a matter of days. A little
more time than normal but either way, it was getting old. I sighed,
getting into the corner and ignoring his dumb little grumbling.
I
smirked to myself at the thought of kidnapping and just keeping
someone. I knew he got up in the middle of the night sometimes,
probably to go slit some hooker’s throat. Oh well, no bother to
me but either way, especially if it helped him calm down a little, or
gave him a taste of freedom…
~
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Hi! I read this, and it was great! Love the way you started out! You darted strong, and it grabbed my attention!:
She was running. I could see her blonde hair whipping against her lower back, her striking legs flashing against the foliage. She had gotten so delightfully pale in these past couple of months, but now my game was over.
Such great detail! This was one of my favorite parts thought because of the detail, and just the pure mystery!:
Her eyes were delightfully full of fear, and it only pushed me to the point if hysteria. I moved forward, grinning as I picked up something, a brand new knife from the feel of the handle. I pulled her face in closer, smirking. She struggled against my, but she was hogtied and I was in the middle of my game.
This was such a morbid, great horror story! I loved it! You did a great job, and just wanted to let you know! Also, happy review day!
Woah, I loved it, it seems like a story told by a serial killer, wow, that's really different for me but awesome. I love how the character seems to switch between his serial killer side and more calmer side, the guy is a total psycho and I love it. Favorite part:
"We had already disabled her car, and he especially got a kick out her frustration at the lack of the engine starting. He smirked with our mouth, and I felt the car door handle in my grasp. Well, I prefer not to feel the trauma when the feisty but up a fight, so I least remember the moments when my hands, whilst under his control, grasp over her mouth and nose. My other arm pinned her hands to her sides and then lifted her up. She fought like hell, thrusting her body forward, side to side, kicking her legs out and screaming into his hand."
I love the description and it's clear these guys in one body are no joke. I imagined everything in my head which always makes the story even more awesome. Keep writing!!
Hello! I'm Flash, and here is a very short review.
Some people (like me) have trouble describing bloody/fighting/killing scenes, but it seems as if you have that down.
First of all, I'd like to say it was an interesting piece. I found it very descriptive! It's dark, but I like it.
Now, the only mistakes I found was that the tense changed a couple times from past to present. And there are a couple times where names aren't capitalized. Other than that, I really couldn't find anything.
Keep Writing!
~Flash