Published April 2, 2006
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141,379 Literary Works • 674,383 Reviews
The poem was creative, imaginative with lovely imagery, but then the last line was weak. It was too cliche and the rest of the poem was beautifully done.
Very good. However, I think you could have found something more interesting to say on the final line.
Brian
Wow. I loved this, I loved this feeling, and I understand what you mean. All I have is praise for this. So sorry I can't offer any constructive critisizm, but there is nothing to be done here.
Lovely. Best lines:
Loved that. I loved the colours (emerald, chestnut, hazel) in quick succession.
The only line I felt was awkward was "Unreal, yet too real for discredit." Makes sense but the comma breaks the flow, as you have no other real pauses in the thing and this ruins it. Try and rephrase somehow.