Broken.

by k3pt

Published March 31, 2006

xxx

Comments & reviews · 2
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xanthan gum
Comment
xanthan gum commented Comment · Apr 1, 2006

stop trying to rhyme, because when you rhyme you usually should have a more steady rhythm...which isn't upheld in this poem.

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Misty
Review
Misty wrote a review Review · Mar 31, 2006

Ergh, I really didn't like this at all. The last bit in parentheses (can you hear me my dear) and after was good. but the rhyming was too much. You would be better off trying to convey your emotions through freewrite. :P Good luck.



Should we not walk? On our feet? The ones I now have again? I do like my feet. They are befittingly perambulatory.
— Pattern (Rhythm of War by Brandon Sanderson)