He wakes up when the sun has not yet sung. The moon appears like the marble in
his hand, a mixture of soil and shards, like a class globe with scratched surfaces. It
is good to have the Earth, the mountains and the seas, safely tucked in the pocket
alongside bits of papers. When the marble bounces against his palm, he becomes a
giant juggling the solar system.
But it is already 4, and he is not yet fully awake. His mum says that his uniform is
stained like a shanty dress, off-white like a greying cloud. He feels like a hanger squinting
at the incandescent light, like a tree, with his bag and lunchbox as his fruits. The sun has
not yet sung when the schoolbus halts into an explosion, and the neighbour dog
starts to shout like his sibling barking how time is a national joke.
But to wake the adult inside every one of us is the national anthem. How can a child not
succumb to caffeine when the engine keeps everyone sleepless. The sun has not yet sung,
and yet he comes back home when the sun has finished its chant. The school is the sun, and
his class watches the stars at the school planetarium, because it would be too late to stay
at school stargazing.
The stars feel like the scratched surface of his marble, as they twinkle and vanish. He comes
back from school at night to prepare for a following night. His uniform is now black from the
petrol fumes and grease from the courtyard fast-food burger. His lunch food in the gutters
might be being eaten by now by rats as fat as his shadow. His marble does not shine in the light,
but rodent chants do. The paper bits in his pocket are like toy money that crumples easily in
the night, and he sleeps for another night with the lights turned on to wait for his schoolbus.
Woah! Powerful poem here!
You really made me think.
It was fill of personification and intense detail.
This was my favorite line by the way 
"The sun has not yet sung,
and yet he comes back home when the sun has finished its chant."
My only suggestion, is that you make this more poetic, with shorter lines, and either some sort of rhythm or rhyme.
Other than that, this is perfect, and i will definitely follow you!
~Hadj
Holy sh*t this is incredible! (excuse my language)
It is so poetic and beautiful and relatable. I can't even describe my love for this.
The way you play with the sky and its elements and the imagery is really ..different, in bits it doesn't try to make sense which is a plus. one occupational hazard of writing is having to explain stuff but the third paragraph sorta deviates from this (it's cool!)
"The sun has not yet sung..","...and the neighbour dog starts to shout like his sibling barking how time is a national joke." ,you personalise the sun and dog well,this technique works for you. Personification doesn't get better than this, not much.
Don't Stop.
Hi
When I look at this, i's like looking at a big poem. Like instead of stanzas ou have large paragraphs. I am no sure if that was the intention, but yea. it works well.
The are all fairly symmetrical too, which suggest ou've got some sort of rhythm going on there. 
Content was good. I think you need some punctuation like: 'How can a child not
succumb to caffeine when the engine keeps everyone sleepless?'
cos that just isn't quite rhetorical, but you know what I mean. Don't think you see many works like this. Impressive.
btw: this one was my favourite bit: 'But to wake the adult inside every one of us is the national anthem. How can a child not
succumb to caffeine when the engine keeps everyone sleepless. The sun has not yet sung,
and yet he comes back home when the sun has finished its chant. The school is the sun, and
his class watches the stars at the school planetarium, because it would be too late to stay
at school stargazing.'
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