Published November 7, 2009
Okay. So this just it a true story.. I just changed names.. I always wonder.. So please tell me what you think.. Try to help me make it better.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As Mary sits under the oak tree in her front yard, she looks up at the blue clear sky.
She said aloud to her self not knowing that any one was around, "Why did God make the sky blue?"
"I was wondering the same thing." A voice behind Mary says that. Mary jumps to the sound of the husky voice. As she turns around she was excepting an older man, but just a boy a few years older than she was. "My!Did I scare you?" He looks into Mary's bright green eyes.
"Yes. May I ask who you are?" Mary's voice is barley above a whisper.
"Well," he looks down at his hands,"I'm Anthony Martins.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The end.. well, till i get some feedback!
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
OK, This is a very good start, but there's a few typos you should fix.

When you say " This it a true story," I think you should say, " This is a true story."
(Happens to me all the time! Those stupid two letter words get so confusing sometimes. It, if, is, I'm, in, of, why can't they all be the same?
Also, " She said aloud to her self," herself should be one word.
"As she turns around she was excepting an older man, but just a boy a few years older than she was." I think "excepting" you meant "expecting"
That's all I could find! Good job, and keep up the good work!
Hi! I really liked this. It's a true story you say? Well that only makes me want to read it more. You did have a few errors, though.
Well, those are just suggestions. Again, I really liked this.
That's all! Bye-bye!
XOXOXOXOX
Summer Night
Hi Hi Hi!
but so far, I think I'm going to like it! Good job!

Well, not much to say about this since its so short but, I find it kinda funny that thats a constant question in my science class "Why is the sky blue?" and I can give you a scientific answer if you want, however I cannot give you God's reason.
Add a little more, and I could say a little more
Keep up the awesome work!
-Irish