I Always Wondered...

by jessie2009

Published November 7, 2009

Okay. So this just it a true story.. I just changed names.. I always wonder.. So please tell me what you think.. Try to help me make it better.

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As Mary sits under the oak tree in her front yard, she looks up at the blue clear sky.

She said aloud to her self not knowing that any one was around, "Why did God make the sky blue?"

"I was wondering the same thing." A voice behind Mary says that. Mary jumps to the sound of the husky voice. As she turns around she was excepting an older man, but just a boy a few years older than she was. "My!Did I scare you?" He looks into Mary's bright green eyes.

"Yes. May I ask who you are?" Mary's voice is barley above a whisper.

"Well," he looks down at his hands,"I'm Anthony Martins.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The end.. well, till i get some feedback!

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
maegardens
Review
maegardens wrote a review Review · Nov 7, 2009

OK, This is a very good start, but there's a few typos you should fix.

When you say " This it a true story," I think you should say, " This is a true story."
(Happens to me all the time! Those stupid two letter words get so confusing sometimes. It, if, is, I'm, in, of, why can't they all be the same? :)

Also, " She said aloud to her self," herself should be one word.

"As she turns around she was excepting an older man, but just a boy a few years older than she was." I think "excepting" you meant "expecting"
That's all I could find! Good job, and keep up the good work!

LovelessSummer wrote a review Review · Nov 7, 2009

Hi! I really liked this. It's a true story you say? Well that only makes me want to read it more. You did have a few errors, though.

"I was wondering the same thing," a voice behind Mary says that.


As she turns turned around she was excepting an older man, but just a boy a few years older than she was,stood there instead.


"Well," he looks down at his hands,"I'm Anthony Martins."


Well, those are just suggestions. Again, I really liked this.

That's all! Bye-bye!
XOXOXOXOX
Summer Night

User avatar
irishfire
Review
irishfire wrote a review Review · Nov 7, 2009

Hi Hi Hi!

Well, not much to say about this since its so short but, I find it kinda funny that thats a constant question in my science class "Why is the sky blue?" and I can give you a scientific answer if you want, however I cannot give you God's reason.


Add a little more, and I could say a little more :wink: but so far, I think I'm going to like it! Good job! :D

Keep up the awesome work!

-Irish :elephant:



Not tryna sound like a houseplant but sometimes all you need is food water and sun and suddenly everything is better
— Quillfeather