Hello Jessica, I'm outvaders coming in for a review on Review Day. I can see that you're a bit new to this place, so heres's a belated welcome to YWS! It's a pleasure providing you with your first review. Alright, let's get into the beef.
Overall, this is a very solid essay. It's informative, clear, and well-structured. Any writer would find this essay of yours very helpful, since it refers to a lot of writing tools. However, it doesn't come with some flaws. Although this essay does many things that an essay should do right, there are also some things it does wrong.
The first thing I want to criticize is how you constantly refer to yourself in the introduction. This includes the usage of first-person pronouns, even though the essay could do well without them. The reason why scientists write in passive voice, use past tense, and avoid first-person pronouns in their scientific reports is because they want maximum clarity for their target audience. Their audience doesn't need to know about the scientists in their reports; all they need to know are the results of the experiment. Writing in the active voice and using first-person pronouns is counterproductive to that goal, because it muddles the clarity of their reports.
The same applies to this essay. This essay isn't about you. This essay is about the resources, and you'd want to introduce them to the viewers. So really, it isn't necessary to put yourself in the essay so much.
You may ask why I'm using first-person pronouns in this review, even though I say not to. Well, this is a sort of informal essay, in contrast to your formal article. And besides, I'm not too into non-fiction writing. So I'm adding a trace of subjectivity to it, as a soft reminder to take my review with a pinch of salt. I have a feeling I might be wrong about this.
Next thing I'm not so fond of is how the manner in which the introduction is divided into paragraphs. The introduction starts off with the hook, which is a question. I think it is alright to let it have a paragraph of its own. However, it confuses me why the link was divided into two paragraphs. The first says that "Good writers understand the importance of the quality they bring to the marketplace..." The second says that "Editing is also a fundamental part of any writer’s activities." They are actually related topics. Editing does enhance the quality of their works. If done right, they could be squeezed in one paragraph.
Now, let's move on to the supports. I'll dedicate one paragraph for each support that I have problems with.
In the HemingWayApp support, you mentioned in one sentence that the sentence that came before was "very hard to read." The first time I read it, I didn't see your point since it didn't seem so hard to read to me. I think that you need to elaborate on how it's "hard to read."
In the ProWritingAid support, you mentioned that this program isn't free. That is actually a turn-off for many writers. Thus, you have to be persuasive about it in order to encourage them to try it. My suggestion is to mention from the very beginning that this program is not freeware, then balance it out with its advantages. However, it isn't enough to change the structure of the paragraph. You have to explain what is so special about this paid program that isn't found in any other freeware in order that I may be encouraged to buy it.
In the Cliche Finder support, the word cliche is undefined. It's a buzzword in this paragraph. What kind of writing cliches are you talking about? Cliche tropes in storytelling? That's not what you're talking about for sure. Kindly define what cliches are in the context of this support. The topic sentence is absent as well.
In the Grammarly support, you mentioned that is the "best application" of its kind. However, the features of the program that you mentioned sound like the features of any other spellchecking program. Kindly explain in detail why it's the "best application" of its kind.
In Online Consistency Checker, it's the same as the Cliche Finder case. I don't really know what exactly consistency is in writing, so please explain what it means. It's a buzzword that begs an explanation.
In the Copyscape support, the topic sentence is absent.
In the Australian Writings support, the topic sentence is at the last part of the paragraph. It should be near the beginning.
In the Dark Room support, it leaves the readers in the dark because of its lack of clarity. By seeing "only dark," does that mean that your entire computer will be blacked out? How in the world will I write then? Boy, I'd rather shut down my computer if that's the case. Kindly explain in detail how this works.
Also, where is the eleventh resource?
Lastly in the body, let us move on to the conclusion. The conclusion lacks the restatement of the thesis statement, and its clincher doesn't end the essay very well. As you end, it's important to restate the thesis statement again in the end conclusion so that the reader is reoriented as to what exactly the essay is all about. As for the clincher, it's boring to say the least. Can't you end the essay on a more encouraging note? The ending line doesn't resonate at all.
Despite all of what was said, this is a very good essay that does many things right. Through this essay, I can tell that you are experienced in non-fiction writing. The first thing I'd like to praise is how well-structured this entire essay is. The three parts of the essay are present: the intro, the body, and the conclusion. The intro is further divided into the hook, the link and the thesis statement. The body paragraph is divided into ten supports, most of them having their topic sentences and supporting details. Although the conclusion lacks the restatement and a strong clincher, it's not a complete dealbreaker. I appreciate the care you put into the outline of the entire article.
Next is your utilization of the writing tools of the YWS platform. There are hyperlinks, boldfaced letters, headers, and even an accompanying picture! Truth be told, these tools aren't really used a lot in this site. You really did your research and made sure you used everything this website gives you to the fullest.
Last is the author biography at the very end. I think this is the cherry on top of a delicious parfait-essay. It's simple, but it's a statement that says so much about you and your experience in writing essays and articles. I've never seen something like this on the website. It's imposing, in a way.
All in all, your essay on some of the best writing programs and tools is a strong essay. Although it has some flaws, it makes up for it with its smooth execution of good non-fiction writing principles. To be honest, essays are very rare here in the Young Writers Society. However, it has so much potential to become as popular as poetry, because of how it speaks about the real world and how it speaks directly to the viewer with clarity unparalleled by fiction writing. I think you are one of the people who are capable of making that a reality. So please, keep writing essays, keep writing articles. It is my pleasure to read your essays, and in time, I am sure that it will be the same with the rest of the Young Writers Society.
-outvaders
Points: 1937
Reviews: 91
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