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Young Writers Society


18+

Sever | Chapter 3: Introductions

by jessegrey


Warning: This work has been rated 18+.

Coming out of his first class, Abram felt strange. Mainly because he was basically a celebrity at Westbrooke for all the wrong reasons. Almost every time someone looked at him, whispers of “He’s one of them” and “Sumner’s victims” were buzzing around him. He couldn’t imagine what they’d be saying if he told everyone about his stays in mental institutions. They’d run with that kind of material forever.

But he also felt strange because he felt so lost without his friends. They’d been his support system for so long that it felt completely foreign to him to navigate through life without their we’vegotyourback smiles beaming back at him. Sure, he’d spoken to Bridge, but the one person he yearned to speak to was Lissa. She was one of the only things that had kept him sane while he was away. And he hadn’t gotten so much as a phone call from her. She was the first girl Abram had ever fallen in love with. He didn’t even know if they were still dating or not.

As he made his way to his second period class, he spotted her over by the huge window in the hallway corridor. He tried to stop himself from running to her, but he couldn’t help it.

“Lissa.” Abram breathed easily as he called out to her, watching her turn around to face him. Only, it wasn’t Lissa.

“Abram?”

He grinned slyly as she pulled him into a quick hug.

“Faith, how’s it going?”

She smiled up at him. “I’m fine. What about you? When did you get back?”

“Not long ago. I’m glad I ran into you. Actually, I thought you were Lissa.”

“Oh, I see.” she said uncomfortably.

“Where is your sister? I haven’t heard from her since I got back.”

“Um,” Faith stirred nervously in place as she searched his face for a change of conversation before realizing that he needed an answer from her. “Abe, it’s a long story.”

Fear pulsed against his veins. “Is she okay? Is she sick?”

“No, nothing like that.”

Faith opened her mouth to set everything straight when a man loomed toward them. Abram looked over to see a ruggedly handsome man making quick strides to close the space between him and Faith. A light came over her face as she laughed.

“What are you doing here?”

“Surprise!” he bellowed, beckoning her for a hug, which she quickly obliged.

Abram coughed uncomfortably as Faith realized that he was still standing there with them and hadn’t run off to class.

“Oh, sorry.” She turned toward the stranger. “This is Abram, my...friend.”

The dark haired man locked eyes with Abram and smiled wide. “Straton Jacobs, nice to meet you.”

They shook hands briefly, perplexed features still displayed on Abram’s face. “And who are you exactly?”

“I’m really bad at this, aren’t I?” Faith giggled as her phone lit up, ignoring the text as she dropped it in the back pocket of her jeans. “Straton’s my boyfriend.” Faith’s grin widened at the mention and grasped Straton’s hand “What brings you here?”

“I figured I’d see how the first day was going on my way to class.” Straton lifted their conjoined hands and placed a light kiss on Faith’s, making it hard for Abram not to roll his eyes.

“Do you go to AFU?” he finally asked.

Straton shook his head. “I’m a sophomore at Heartmyth.”

“Faith, you were supposed to meet me outside the office.”

Abram heard the male voice before he saw who it belonged to. But once he did, he had to do a double take to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. The guy looked so different, his short brown hair and flat chest included, but so many things remained the same. The hazel eyes that Faith also bore. The half halo of freckles along his neck. His pouty lips. He spotted Abram and froze. Abram watched as terror glazed over his familiar features.

“Lissa?”

x

Finally tracking her down, Mercer made his way over to Kirby as she rummaged through her locker. She spotted him as she looked away from the storage space, smiling despite the pinched look he wore as he approached her.

“Mercer, hey.” Kirby said, watching as he slammed something against the locker next to hers, startling her to the point of jumping.

“When did you take this?” Mercer demanded, tossing the picture toward her.

Kirby thanked her reflexes silently as she caught it, realizing that it was one of her polaroids. She looked back up at the obviously angry Mercer, confusion leaking out of her pores.

“I told you, I took these last night.”

Mercer huffed, shaking his head with newfound vigor. “That’s impossible.” He pointed at the photo. “Do you have any idea who that is?”

Kirby examined the polaroid once more before tapping the caption she had written. “I don’t know, but as you can see, I call him Cemetery Boy.” After seeing Mercer’s flustered expression, she went on. “Look, Mercer, I swear to you, I took that last night. I saw him in the cemetery and I guess he saw me and tried running when I snapped the picture.” She moved closer to him. “Who is he?”

He sighed. He didn’t want to drag Kirby into the mess of his life, especially with her being new to town, but she at least needed to know who her ‘Cemetery Boy’ was.

“His name is Sumner Shadows,” Mercer started. “Six months ago, he tried to kill me and my friends.”

“Mercer, my God.” Kirby gasped, obviously horrified. “You said you had bad memories at the cemetery.” She let her sentence fade into the air between them as Mercer’s façade darkened.

“That’s where he attacked us,” he nodded. “Afterwards, he skipped town. No one has seen him since.” Mercer sighed. “I’m sorry I was so livid. It’s just hard to believe that he’s assumingly back in town.”

She collected the things she needed from her locker and closed it quickly, inching closer to him as to avoid eavesdroppers. “Mercer, we have to take this picture to the police.”

“No,” he commanded, grabbing the polaroid from her hand. “We can’t tell the cops anything. Not yet anyway.”

“But what if he’s come back to...finish what happened in the cemetery?”

“I’m sorry, Kirby,” Mercer stuffed the picture in his jeans’ pocket. “I’ve told you too much. I shouldn’t have bothered you with any of this.”

He went to leave, but she caught his arm. She locked her eyes with his and took in a chaste breath.

“Mercer, you can trust me.”

“I don’t want you tangled up in this.”

“I already am! I took that picture, remember? Let me help.”

“I can’t,” He shook his head. "I’m sorry about this. Forget we met. For your own good.”

As Mercer stormed away, he heard Kirby calling his name, but he had to put as much distance between them as he could apply. If Sumner really was back in Armor Falls, he had to lessen the potential victims. And just by knowing him, Kirby was at risk. And Mercer didn’t want any more casualties at the hands of Sumner Shadows.

x

Seeing Abram hadn’t been part of his plan. He knew when he had gotten to school and had a meeting with the principal and his parents that had gone well into first period, that it was going to be a trying day. He knew coming back to school a survivor of an attempted murder would be a transition. But seeing Abram was in no way part of his return as a changed man to Westbrooke.

He had run away at Abram’s first uttering of his old name. Why hadn’t Faith warned him that he was back? Maybe she hadn’t known, but he couldn’t talk to him yet. They hadn’t had any closure during their visit at Arclan five months ago. He had to wrap his mind around Abram being back before he could even think about talking to him again.

“Lissa!”

He cringed at the name again as he ducked into the men’s bathroom to avoid Abram, regretting the dead end as soon as the doors closed after him. Of course, the three guys already occupying the bathroom looked startled by his sudden intrusion.

“Dude, the hell?” One guy said, washing his hands at the sink.

There was another clamor as the bathroom door swung open once more, only this time it was Abram in the doorway. Everyone looked to Abram, instantly recognizing him.

“Get out!” he yelled, the three guys too freaked out not to oblige him, running out of the bathroom, leaving them alone.

“Liss, talk to me.”

“First off, quit calling me Lissa. That’s not my name anymore.” He shook his head. “It’s Alex now. Has been for a while.”

Abram scoffed, hands on his hips in frustration. “You’ve transitioned? Without telling me?”

“It kind of wasn’t your decision.”

“We were together, Liss!”

“Stop calling me that!”

A silence grew among them as Abram sighed and Alex scoffed pointedly.

“Listen,” Abram closed his eyes and paused, saying his new name for the first time. “Alex, I’m not mad that you’re being yourself. I’m mad because you didn’t tell me. We never ended things. I know how hard this must have been on you but how do you think this is for me? Before Arclan, I had a girlfriend. And now,” he paused again, choosing his words carefully. “And now, you’re a completely different person.”

Alex mulled his words over in his head for a second. He had to admit, this wasn’t the exact reaction he had expected from Abram. Not that he had planned on actually seeing him so soon. Maybe he had a point. Before he had transitioned, he and Abram had been dating. Things had changed without Abram even being present, and Alex realized what Abram was getting at.

“You’re right. I should have told you about what I was going through. But you seemed so...lost when we visited Arclan. And since we all got to finish our last three months of school at home, I just shut myself off from Bridge and Mercer. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea, but—”

“You had a lot to deal with,” Abram agreed. “I’m sure they’ll understand.”

He smiled at Abram’s careful compassion. “And Abe, I really am sorry about how things...happened between us. And obviously, we aren’t dating anymore.”

Alex could tell that he was about to say something else, but he was too scared to hear the words he assumed Abram would say. He flew out of the bathroom with all the speed he could churn from his newly toned muscles as the second bell roared around them.

Abram called after him, and he could call after him all he wanted to. That didn’t stop Alex from barging into his second period class. Only to see that both Bridge and Mercer were also in the same calculus class that he was. Their wide eyes told him that they recognized him within seconds, standing up in their seats. Mr. Argus, their teacher, regarded Alex warmly, making the latter very glad that all the teachers at Westbrooke had been briefed on how he was to be greeted from now on.

“Ah, Mr. Llewellyn. Glad you could join us.”

“Wait, Llewellyn?” Alex heard some jock say, and he realized that the guy was on the football team and that he had once made out with him back when he was still going by Lissa. “Are you related to Lissa Llewellyn?”

“I am Lissa Llewellyn,” Alex rolled his eyes, deciding to lay it all out there for everyone now rather than later. “But you can call me Alex now.”

Murmurs erupted in the classroom, some wrecked by the news and some rather indifferent towards the information. Alex looked at his former best friends and soaked in their heartbroken expressions, just as Abram burst through the door.

“Mr. St. James,” Mr. Argus sighed. “You’re late.”

Alex looked between Bridge and Mercer before looking back at Abram, rolling his eyes again and sighing as deep as an abyss. This was going to be the longest class of his life.


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472 Reviews


Points: 25
Reviews: 472

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Tue Aug 08, 2017 7:09 pm
Lightsong wrote a review...



OH WOW I NEVER KNEW. Hey, it's me with another review for you.

First thing to mention is definitely Lissa's transition to Alex. Frankly speaking, I've never read a story about a trans before, so this catches me off guard. It's not a bad thing though since I welcome diversity. It does make me wonder how things will go with him and Abe. Obviously, they remain as good friends as I've read the chapter after this, but would it be cool if Abe is genderfluid and loves Alex the way he is? :D

The scene about Kirby and Merce is definitely interesting too, and I would like to see how much involved she would be in this issue concerning Sumner. I hope she plays a more important role. I get the curious, adventurous vibe from her and I like it.

Only two things I want to point out here. The first one is PoV. At times it's omniscient but doesn't work, like when Faith's searching something on Abe's face. At that moment, you switch the PoV to hers although the rest of the section is Abe's. If you want to include that part, you have to make Abe notice she's scrutinizing him to make it still in his PoV.

The second one is characters. Right now, there are too much of them that I can't connect to any of them. Alex stands out because of his transitioning and Abe because he's the protagonist, but other than the two, the rest seem to be touch-and-go characters. I suggest to have a chapter having four characters at max and have an equal focus to each of them. Like right now, I think Abe, Alex, Kirby and Mercer are enough to move the plot in this chapter.

And that is all! Keep up the good job! :D




jessegrey says...


Hi there! Thank you for taking the time to leave a review! DEFINITELY stay tuned for more possible Abram/Alex ;). Alex is just such an important character to me. It's really interesting posting these chapters from the first book, because I'm currently writing the second one, and everyone is in such a different place, it's interesting to see where everyone started and the feedback from you guys haha. Kirby is so vital to the story, especially later on in the book, so stay tuned for that as well. As I've mentioned before, I'm a glutton for POV changes, even in the middle of one characters POV. I tend to give a little tidbit on how the opposite character is feeling or whatever. So reading your advice about Abram notice she's scrutinizing? I'll definitely keep that in mind, I never thought of it, so thank you! I know there's a lot of characters, just stick with me haha. I think I ease up on all of that as the book progresses. Thanks again for your lovely review!



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118 Reviews


Points: 18525
Reviews: 118

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Sun Aug 06, 2017 4:50 am
PastelSlushie wrote a review...



Hello again, jessegrey! PastelSlushie here for a review. let's get right into it! I also changed my reviewing format, hope you like it!

FIRST IMPRESSION
- When reading the first part, in Abram's point of view, it felt cliche. Getting talked about, saying he was a murderer, especially people saying he was a murderer. I've seen it in so many movies and tv shows that it comes off as bland to me. Also, in Mercer's point of view, again, the fight and "I'm trying to keep you safe" plot is overused in tv shows and movies, and books. I would have really liked to see Mercer getting Kirby in danger out of his "heat of the moment" anger. Now that's a plot twist! I also really love how there is a transgender character in this book. I'm transgender myself, but I still call myself a girl around homo/transphobic friends/family, so this makes my heart swell with joy when I finished Alex's point of view. That's extra bonus points in my book.

NITPICKS
- ["Almost every time someone looked at him, whispers of “He’s one of them” and “Sumner’s victims” were buzzing around him."] Make sure to put a comma after them and victims, but make sure they're inside the quotation marks.

- [“Um,” Faith stirred nervously in place as she searched his face for a change of conversation before realizing that he needed an answer from her. “Abe, it’s a long story.”] When there are two separate quotations of the same person talking, it needs to be one sentence. So there would need to be a comma after her instead of a period.

- [“I’m really bad at this, aren’t I?” Faith giggled as her phone lit up, ignoring the text as she dropped it in the back pocket of her jeans. “Straton’s my boyfriend.” Faith’s grin widened at the mention and grasped Straton’s hand “What brings you here?”] Again, there would need to be a comma instead of a period at jeans, and as well as at hand.

- [“His name is Sumner Shadows,” Mercer started. “Six months ago, he tried to kill me and my friends.”] replace the comma with a period at started.

- [“That’s where he attacked us,” he nodded. “Afterwards, he skipped town. No one has seen him since.” Mercer sighed. “I’m sorry I was so livid. It’s just hard to believe that he’s assumingly back in town.”] Replace a comma with the period at nodded.

Okay, I'll stop here. I'm sure you get the point.

OVERALL
- I think this is my favorite chapter at the moment. It really represented the change at what can happen over six months, especially six months after an event the characters are going through. I really can't say much about the characters because the point of views changed so fast, which I have a tiny problem with. You can change the point of views as much as you want, but I would like to see each scene slowed down. The reader gets a better image in their head.

Keep writing!

Pastel




jessegrey says...


Thanks for your review! I actually prefer having the sentences broken up by periods instead of commas, but that's just a personal preference haha. I've never considered using commas instead, but I'll keep that in mind for the future. I'm so glad you like Alex! It was super important for me to have him in the story, and he's one of my favorite characters I've ever gotten the pleasure to meet. I hope you'll enjoy having him as one of the core four characters. Thanks for following the story and for leaving a review! I always enjoy seeing your thoughts, love!




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