Published November 23, 2016
I let myself think that my emotions can’t be the same as others,
I let myself think that they are much more intense and consuming,
I feel vulnerable and scared,
I let myself think that I’m different
Because that's what everyone tells me to feel
In my head, people’s emotions don't affect them
There is the odd occasion of someone crying or someone smiling
But do they feel those emotions like I do?
If they do, then how can they act so indifferent and bored with life?
How do they react so casually to something that should make them bleed?
How do they function at all?
If they don’t, then am I the only one out there?
Do I need help for being different?
How will I ever express my emotions to someone?
How do I get over the fact that everyone seems so shallow?
These emotions aren’t all bad,
When I feel happy there is nothing greater
But when I feel sad there is nothing worse
But sometimes I think maybe everybody is like me,
Maybe we are all too scared to express ourselves truly
Scared of rejection and feeling alienated
Or maybe, just maybe, everyone wants to feel different.
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138,124 Literary Works • 672,071 Reviews
This is an incredible poem. I loved many things about it, and the punctuation and grammar/spelling was correct as far as I could tell. I like how at the beginning, “I let/feel” is repeated, and I love your wordings. This poem illustrates how I feel, and probably how many others feel, which is something I love about poetry. The ending of this poem closes it off well. Good job!
Thanks so much!
This is Kaos here for a review!
The first thing that I want to bring up is that this is topic based, and that's something that's usually not beneficial, at least in my eyes, without anything else. This is because we only get the theme of the poem in the form of internal monologue of the speaker rambling on about their emotions.
Show don't tell applies to poetry too, you know. Right now with the speaker rambling, you're in the tell-zone, which isn't /always/ bad, but show the reader what's going on. Use your own personal experiences with it, create a metaphor and build on it from there. Create an atmosphere for the reader in which they will experience the emotions of this poem, but right now the reader doesn't have a reason to really attach themselves to it because it's alienated without human touch and experience.
One thing I do want to say is that the theme could be better executed and end up /to be/ one of the stronger parts of the piece, and I've got to say, it's already getting there. Tell it through metaphors and figurative language and don't just give us the theme for the poem. There's nothing here to interpret. Make things more subtle instead of theme being so pushed forward at us, and I've got to say, a few things are. Another thing that I wanted to mention is your punctuation. I suggest cutting down on the questions as they feed to the tell-zone but sometimes if you've got a good one, you can put it in italics and it'll bring more to the table.
And finally, define your emotions. My idea of sad is not your idea of sad and my idea of happy is not your idea of happy. There are different views and perspectives, so I want you to show that. Define what you mean with your emotion words.
I hope I helped and have a great day!
Hello, Daisy here to review!
First of all, I love how emotive this feels.
This poem, I feel, deals with some heavy topics of acceptance and rejection. You handle them beautifully.
The first stanza is brilliant and an incredibly strong opening. It instantly hooked me. I have just one minor issue, and that's the third line. Considering you repeat the "I let myself think that" immediately after, line three is slightly jolting and doesn't quite fit with the rhythm.
The use of questions is so carefully framed that they had another layer of emotion. I sense so much emotion from this it's uncanny.
Your last line is such a good ending, a real solid one. It reinforces the ideas of the poem and wraps it incredibly neatly.
Well done!