Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
“Please!” – Her red lipstick parted from her lips as she begged: begged for not only her life, but the life of her newly acquainted stranger. Her usual silvery voice was hoarse from the fully air-conditioned room, and her drawn on eyebrows had dispersed itself over her moist blue eyes. She had never cried so much in her life; yet alone she had never been through this before. “I can’t do this!”-she cried. Her blonde hair covered her face as she dropped her head in despair. “Tut tut…look at you Viktoria…crying like a whore? No no no…this is too simple to cry for Vikt. This is too great; an opportunity to kill is something…something you should…what’s the word? Ahh… yes anticipate…you should anticipate it… not dread or avoid such an opportunity! No, No, No Viktoria”- She was too weak to riposte: she no longer had the energy to kick and scream and spit disgust: she was simply worn-out with dehydration and worn out with the pain of living. She had a feeling that desperation would work against her conscience, that with time, she would simply drive the 24 cm long bowie knife into the neck of her newly acquainted stranger. The Bowie knife, ‘a large butcher knife’, had been previously demonstrated, passionately, to Viktoria by her mad abductor-“As you can see, it has no clip point nor any hand guard, and a simple riveted wood scale handle…good to cut head with ya know…that’s why this baby here has earned me some reputation; they call me Adroit back home ya know.” – He’s large tanned hand, accompanied by the tattoo of a chess piece, grabbed the knife with such electricity that Viktoria felt her muscle relax completely; preparing for the cold silver knife to penetrate. An ‘ax crazy’ man Viktoria thought. An eccentric; a power driven mad man capable of terrifying his victims into death with nothing more than his deep, wary, green eyes. “Five minutes” he’s harsh Russian accent emphasized his point in a dramatic way that demanded results so immediately. “Five minutes before I kill her myself, then feed you her organs in little pieces.”- He rolled his R’s and spoke in an unusual monotonous nasal voice; which warned you of his seriousness. “Five minutes! When I come back I want her head in here.” He kicked the bucket towards Viktoria producing a rattling sound which echoed against the sound of the ever so flowing air-conditioning machine. Followed by the sudden slam of the acoustic foamed metal door; the echo quickly absorbed.
Okay..starting things off here with a little talk of paragraphs..because well while one paragraph starts like this do work occasionally, this is one of those cases where having the entire thing as a single lump of text in one paragraph is not a great idea. The flow of the story is broken and it just is generally a little hard to read because of that here...soo...it would be a good idea to split this up into at least three or four paragraphs here.
Well, moving right past the whole paragraph thing and into the content of things here, we've got an interesting start, some sneaky descriptions snuck in their quite well without them feeling like descriptions. Reading further into this thing...it looks like we have ourselves a pretty dangerous situation here with lots of threats being tossed around and quite casually too at that...not to mention those are some pretty serious and rather gruesome threats there.
On the whole a very interesting little scene here, definitely gets your attention quite quickly and keeps it locked on quite well with what's happening here. It seems to be the type of story that I would in fact read here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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