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by jdogistheman


to love is just a delay before pain

in time you lose them or they get away

and yet we take this risk with fear in are hearts and fear in are soul

always prepared to pay the toll

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34 Reviews

Points: 3211
Reviews: 34

Sun Jan 22, 2023 6:45 pm
HalfheartedAmateur wrote a review...

Title - "love"
There are infinite amount of poems about love with beautiful analogies, lovely metaphors and similes, and loads of figurative language because there is not just one definite definition of love since love is above and beyond just that one. I like how you didn't capitalized the "l" in love which gives it a simplistic aesthetic, yet that word speaks for itself - it doesn't need any capitalization in order to impact/influence others. It's small and subtle, knowingly there without having to scream its lungs out to be noticed. People notice it through the little actions and indefinite words. This type of "love" you may be describing doesn't need much further explanation - it's understandable and simply hits home, striking one's heart with its directness and rawness. Similar to a height phrase of "'Though she be but little she is fierce," the word "love" is simply four letters, yet in itself it is so deeply meaningful that it can stand alone because it is just that powerful/influential/impactful.

Line One (Love) - Perhaps the capitalization of this love is to emphasis the power and ranking/status of it. It stands tall with importance and a sense of identity one wishes to carry.
Line Two (to love is just a delay before pain) - The imagery of this may hurt. It clicks with your mind and tingles your senses that is utterly relatable and touches you to the core. It's like you're falling in your dream and all of a sudden you jerk awake and the pang in your chest is there but you still feel like you're falling yet you're on your bed on solid ground.
Line Three (in time you lose them or they get away) - Ah, yes. Through time, the love either becomes lost or they slip from your grasp. As time goes on, sometimes the love that you have may gradually and eventually fade. In other scenarios, as time goes on, the subtleness slyly will sneak and before you can reach out to tightly grasp onto that love they get away from you. Both ways hurt; it makes you vulnerable and heartbroken which sucks but it's true.
Line Four (and yet we take this risk with fear in are hearts and fear in are soul) - Fear and risk go hand and hand but for love we must love with the risk of fear. There is forever and always fear within the hearts and souls of one another because of the hurt and rejection. Yet how can we love without risk? I think that's impossible. Hurt comes along with love at times because one knows they're risking to love with the fear of loss or whatever they may fear that comes along with love. Yet we risk it for love because we believe. It must be enough. Even if it isn't, love is better than hate.
Line Five (always prepared to pay the toll) - Heartbreak will inevitably show up in one way or another and one must be ready to risk the chance of being heartbroken by love. You give your all to this love, yet someday it'll hurt you more and that love may come along with karma. I think it's inevitable to risk that fear for love because heartbreak and hurt will somehow weave its way into that love some way or another.

Recommended Revisions:
In line four, instead of "are," I think it's spelt "our."

Incredibly lovely job of portraying love and its downside. Beautifully written. I think you did well in conveying your message, yet the little fixable mistake of misspelling could give you a lesson of re-reading your written work carefully/meticulously before publishing it. Other than that, I think this poem provides another aspect of the open-ended question of "What is love?"

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118 Reviews

Points: 7737
Reviews: 118

Thu Oct 07, 2021 1:23 am
Coffeeboyjay wrote a review...

hi and i im here to drop a review that was so short so here you go

so we going to get started!!

First this was such a lovely poem that i ever read and how you get to write such a lovely poem like this but where is the rest of it from the poem cause what i im seeing is its to little words in the poem i im like dang its so short i barely couldn't get to read it was to short in my opinion

My compliment is when is a another one coming since you made the poem so short i couldn't read like that it was to short like i said can you make your poems more with bigger words next time

How you can improve is start writing poems with more longer than shorter for now cause some people does that and no one tells them that they did but i im just telling you that like i said it was to short

but nice work and keep writing!!


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105 Reviews

Points: 263
Reviews: 105

Sun May 23, 2021 11:08 am
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DreamyAlice wrote a review...

Hey, Alice is here to give a short review!!!!

First of all, welcome to young writer's society (YWS), hope you jave a great time here! You look heartbroken, cause it needs a lot of emotions to write such poems. It's short and powerful. The flow is nice too. My favorite line is this-

to love is just a delay before pain

So beautiful!!!

I hope to read more of your work! Keep writing!!!!

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36 Reviews

Points: 381
Reviews: 36

Sat May 22, 2021 4:22 pm
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SalemReine wrote a review...

Good morning, afternoon, evening, night, or whatever it is in your current daydream! Ouch, it sounds like somebody broke your heart. Well, you’re getting revenge, writing about them for all to read!

I love the way this flows, it reads very well! I appreciate the rhyme at the end, I enjoy the rhythm it gives. I read this very dramatically in my head, like a Shakespearean play. Did you write it wearing a cape and pearls?

The message is sad but powerful. I’m ALMOST second guessing getting married in the future, but not quite. It makes me question, am I prepared to pay the toll?

Thank you for this wonderful writing piece! Keep up the good work, I’m excited to read some more!

Good bye, adios, arrivederci, au revoir, sayonara, you know, whatever language you prefer!

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jdogistheman says...

Actually I'm just weirdly good at those types of things but thank you!

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65 Reviews

Points: 287
Reviews: 65

Fri May 21, 2021 10:27 pm
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pineapple321 says...

Great job! I really liked this :)

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Points: 17
Reviews: 1

Thu May 20, 2021 12:22 pm
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jdogistheman says...

i hope you guys like it!!!!

We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.
— Ernest Hemingway