I'm not going to give you the whole chapter until i'm totally finished with the book. Instead i'm just going to give you two paragraphs from random parts of the chapter each time I finish a new chapter.
P.S. This won't be very exciting because it's just the begging of Ch.1 so bear with me here.
[b]Ch.1
Kristina ran around the basement panicking, trying to find a place to hide. She knew that if she didn’t find a place to hide soon they would surely find her. She had always heard soldiers were good at finding people from movies and books. Now she wondered if that was true.
Kristina found a place behind an old ugly lime green dresser and decided it would do. She crawled behind it, it was a tight fit but she didn’t have enough time to find a better place to hide. She moaned, she had only been behind the dresser for about thirty seconds and her legs already were beginning to hurt.
okay thats all for right now I should have ch.2 in 1 or 2 days
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,777 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okay well this is quite an interesting start here. Since it does appear to be the first bit of a first chapter as well, that abrupt ending is potentially to do with that, but otherwise this is really nicely done here. The best part of this that I see at first glance is how ambiguous this is. While the title does spoil said ambiguity somewhat there's an oddly childlike quality to our protagonist and that makes you wonder if this is some sort of elaborate game of hide and seek especially judging by how this person very realistically gets immediately uncomfortable from their hiding spot or if this is some sort of situation where this person is actually being hunted by some soldiers for some reason.
Either way things end up being quite intriguing and the way you've gone about setting the whole situation up is very nice I think. It really does work out well in the end and I do find myself really wanting to know what happens after this in this particular chapter if nothing else to at least figure out which of those two possibilities is actually happening here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
From what you showed it looks to me like an exiting book. When you post the rest I will love to read it. I am very curious who these soldiers looking for her are, and what she's done for them to be looking for her. I think it was written pretty well myself, I had no trouble following.
This was interesting.... however I think you should of just waited till the entire chapter was finished before posting.
"She crawled behind it, the dresser was a tight fit ; however she didn't have enough time to find a better place to hide."
[/b]
She moaned. Kristina had only been behind the dresser for about thirty seconds and her legs already began to ache in pain.
PM me once chapter 1 is fully posted, then I will give a full review.