Explaining the way the world works, is like trying to explain calculus to a five year old. No matter who your talking to, no one can fully explain what the world does when people aren't paying attention. Even to the major philosophers, the world is a complete and utter mystery. Even when people say they get it, do they really completely understand? I for some reason am now standing in front of a girl who has never fully lived and is now trying to guess who the world revolves around, why the world spins and when it started and what it needs to be complete. WIll the world ever be fully complete. "This world is spinning in the wrong direction." I whispered. "The phone rang and I jumped. I looked at the caller ID, and snorted when I saw it was my ex-boyfriend. Didn't he know that I was over and done with him? Didn't he know I had moved on? Apparently not. Even if I had wanted to pick up the phone, I knew that I wouldn't be able to anything once I hit answer. I knew that I wouldn't be able to talk to him. Even when I knew that things had to change, I didn't want them to. I needed the pain to keep me motivated. I still stood there looking at myslef in the mirror. I was a short and skinny girl with medium dirty blond hair. I hated it. In fact, I hated most things about myself. I hated my hiar, my eyes that always looked half-shut because I was always so tired. I knew that things about me were going to have to change. I didn't feel like myself, I was glad i didn't either. I had just started a new medication the night before for sleep. I hadn't slept in five days and I had been so tired. I had gone to the psychiatrist and had actualy fallen asleep in the office.
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125,011 Literary Works • 672,841 Reviews
Hey!
I really loved this! It defiantly caused the reader to question what they belive in.
I would highly recommned using paragraphs. Just to help breack the story down because one big block is a bit hard to chew.
Also maybe go through this chapter and just think what you want the writer to feel. Cause half of it seems philspohphsy like and the other half is about missing someone and its all kinda confusing.
Thoough I really did enjoy the story, it is defitnaly unique and i'll look forward to the second chapter! x
I think that this story is about your losses, that love really does keep you revolving, just like the Earth does to the moon. And it is true, love is a complete mystery, even for me... Is this a short story, or is it something you wrote because you wanted to get that feeling out? I think you need to edit this because right now, it is a bit casual and not as edited, but I know that once you edit this story, it will be touching and sorry. Sorry for the way things turned out for you, and you have totally expressed your true feelings in this story.
I think that this story is about your losses, that love really does keep you revolving, just like the Earth does to the moon. And it is true, love is a complete mystery, even for me... Is this a short story, or is it something you wrote because you wanted to get that feeling out? I think you need to edit this because right now, it is a bit casual and not as edited, but I know that once you edit this story, it will be touching and sorry. Sorry for the way things turned out for you, and you have totally expressed your true feelings in this story.