Young Writers Society

Hi Dearjamsclerk!!

This is Eros here to review your work!!

This poem " I am a confused little fellow" is a lyrical poem. You are really confused. You laugh when ou want to cry. There is a mistake in the the second line:

" I LAUGHT WHEN I WANT TO CRY " the 'T' should not be there.

My suggestion to the confusion of the little boy:

You should be firm of what you want to do. You should act according to your wish. If you want to dance you should dance and if you want to sleep you should sleep.

Anyways,

The poem is wrtten good as an amatuer writer. I had written worse when I was an ametuer writer. I appreciate your writing. This one is full of mixed emotions and compsed with a real effect of confusion.

I loved it. You have done a nice start to your writing. We all are here to improve ourselves.And remember:

Reviewing works helps us toimprove writing. I am saying this because the more you read other's works the more idea you gain for writing. Hence review more and more. You can also see the writing tips here:
http://www.writinggooder.com/2015/05/te ... g-fantasy/

Hi dear
Sweet poem describing the innocent mind. It made me realize how my cousin brother is. Also the lines describes the kiddish nature of the little fellow. Flying high is the dream of every newborns. I love the concept as we never give priority of stupid dreams or our innocence. But the way you described the dream of flying high realized my old childhood days when i used to see birds and be jealous of their wings. Today i understood the meaning of flying high which is not only flying but following your dreams.

But i didnt understand the use of caps.

Apart from it the poem is touchy and sweet filled with the fragnance of innocence.

Dear jamesclark, Selina,

Wow, I really liked this! It was very good and it made me smile.

The only suggestion that I have is not to use so many caps. It gives it a better feel if they are lowercase. That way, if you really want to emphasize a word, you can use caps or italics for just that one word or line and it will flow smoother.

Other than that, I really loved it! My advice for this fellow who wants to fly high in the poem; keep doing what you love most, and you will definitely fly high to the sky!

Keep up the awesomeness because you are awesome!

~Rose

Hello JamesClark! The Silent Bagpipe here to review some of your work!


First off let me just say - Wow. This was really good for your first piece of work. Well done! =)
The poem itself made me smile, then chuckle. It was cute and adorable <3
I did find some grammatical mistakes which I'll show you so you can fix - #1 - In the second sentence you said "laught" and I think its supposed to be "laugh" xD
#2 - Seventh sentence, maybe put the 'hi' in "hi" because it took me a second to realize what you said =P
#3 The very last sentence your asking a question - "Will you help me face the world with a smile" ? Instead of using .... maybe use an question mark since your asking a question =)

Hopefully this review helped you to "fly high". I apologize that I couldn't do more =)

One more thing - keep writing, you are very good at it

~Selina

as your first work, it is pretty good. i like your dreams and ambitions and how they influenced your work. however, i propose a few suggestions-
first of all, use lower case alphabets. It not only suits the grammar but also the eyes. when you write in upper case it seems that you are shouting[ this phrase in from my computer book ].
please take care of your punctuation. I see no stop, or comma or any other punctuation in your poem to distinguish one line from another.
when you are done with the above we come to the content. your poem is good in portraying your confusion, however you must not confuse your readers. your presentation should give your - present state of mind, thought and any theme you want to uphold- all being distinct and easily understandable.
another word of advice- if you aim high, you have to give up the fear, believe in yourself, and just go for it. i wish you all the best. and if you want any reference works- i would be glad if you have a look at mine and review them if you wish. you can always call on me if you need any more help.
keep writing
Rituparna