Wildflower pt. 1
A wildflower sprouts
in my backyard.
I name it
after you.
Wildflower pt. 2
the sun has burned the edges of my wildflower to brown,
much like the ebony tips of your black hair.
I do not think we will last the summer,
my wildflower and I.
there will never be
enough water.
Wildflower pt. 3
I only begin to realize in the winter,
that my wildflower is fading from me.
I do all that I can,
but she shies from my love and care.
I named my wildflower
with a hint of you,
but I have lost that as well.
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140,830 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
I love the style in which you write. And I love the first Wildflower because it is so happy and full of life. I also like the next two but they get sad. But they are still really good I love them all, they all hold a lot of emotion which will captivate your reader, and make them want to keep going, which is really good, and you succeeded at that. Great job. But I hope this isn't persona' because that would be really sad. But if it is you were able to write it out and get it on paper which helps you release the bad from your mind. Anyways great job.
Keep up the great writing!
-Roxie Rain
Short, but sweet. 10/10 would read again. What an interesting story to write about! I've never read a poem like this.
Pros:
-It gets right to the feels.
-It gives the reader a warm, fuzzy feeling inside.
-It is romantic without being in-your-face about it.
-The wildflower blooming and then being malnourished and then finally dying in the winter is a good metaphor for a love starting off strong, not given the attention it needs, then dying off.
-IT HAS PUNCTUATION. That's a mistake a lot of people make, not punctuating their poems. It's refreshing to read a poem that does have punctuation every once in a while.
Cons:
-None I can find.
Thank you so much... it means a lot. Really. Have a wonderful day!
This is poem is brilliant. You need not change this marvelous work. You my friend, are on your way to big things. Have a wonderful day.
Big things are all I'm hoping for. Have a great day!!
Aw ); That was really good ^-^
-Small comment on capitalization: Stay consistent. "The sun has burned..." "There will never be..."
Okay, moving on...
-I really like how the relationship with the flower reflects the relationship of the narrator and the one he loves. "There will never be enough water." This line can be interpreted in so many ways. There simply isn't enough water for the wildflower to live, being one. The "drought" in the relationship, being another, etc. etc. etc...
-It was simple, but complex. You didn't try to use extravagant wording and I like that -also, the use of the wildflower (this is actually a little cliche...) shows that something ordinary can bring about so much more...
Umm... well, that's it. Keep writing!
Thank you. When i write like this it comes quickly and I just put it the way I feel it, so I do tend to become inconsistent in capitalization and such. I'm still very young, but i do intend to keep writing. Thank you again!