On social media, there's a new fad that's taking the world by storm and as I like to call it, "The Reign of Photoshop." Now that there are a billion apps for photo editing, just how many of our Instagram feeds are real? How many Facebook profiles are still untouched? Nowadays, the bar of beauty is too high and at an unreachable standard. Snapchats are filtered, photos are shopped, and body parts are upgraded like software. People (mostly women.) on social media think that going to extreme lengths to make themselves look like stars such as Kylie Jenner or Kim Kardashian, is just "The price of beauty." News flash: it's not.
How can people claim that the plump lips in their pictures are theirs, huge backsides are all- natural, and flawless skin isn't just some major photoshop? I mean, I'm all in favor of using a filter to remove a blemish or two but re-sculpting your entire face? Sadly, the new norm is that you have your normal, everyday face, then you have your PERFECT, PHOTOSHOPPED, and FILTERED face.
You don't need huge lips, sculpted eyebrows, thick eyelashes and a huge butt to be beautiful. You were born an original, so don't be so easy to fall into the line of so-called "Internet Perfection." If you own your differences, you're a hellofa lot more perfect than a girl that has to go and touch-up all of her pictures. Be unique because. You. Are. Beautiful.
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,814 Reviews
Hi there, Fire here!
So I honestly don't have that much to say.
I really love what you're saying here. You address a problem that's much to prominent in society today, and I love that you did it in a short, simple way. Overall, I think this is a great piece that make a lot of good points in just a few short sentences (something I myself struggle with).
I think that most of the things I saw here you could fix were small nitpicks that have already been covered by other reviewers
Again, great piece here, and I look forward to seeing more from you in the future!
Keep writing!
~Fire
Whoa! Didn't mean to do that. I was going to type a review... Ah, well, it registered as a comment, so I'll just rewrite a new one. Sorry!
I love this so much!!! I'm so glad someone wrote about this because it's beyond true! I have to admit that even up to as recently as a few months ago, I felt the need to do a few of the things you mentioned. I felt confident in the fact that I knew who I was, but not confident in who the rest of the world saw me as. Photo edits, filters, and makeup became my best friends.
In these recent months, I've been learning to love myself, both with makeup AND bare-face, and have been staying away from edits and filters. I don't wear makeup unless I actually feel like it, and it feels amazing.
I feel so in control with not having to worry about looking good for people I don't really even know, every. single. day.
It's such a beautiful thing when a girl can be confident of who she is and what she looks like. And I'm so happy that in my journey, I know one day I'll finally get there!
Hey there jacquelinevillegas10. It's just lizzy stopping by for a quick review. I haven't reviewed many essays during my time at YWS, so I shall try my best. Better get started.
Due to the fact that your essay is only three paragraphs, I will critique this paragraph by paragraph.
Paragraph 1:
-Your first line, though attention grabbing, seemed to be long for its application. I would restate and here is one possible way.
-On social media today, there is a new fad that is taking the world by storm. I like to call it The Reign of Photoshop.
I removed your quotes because I felt you were using a form similar to air quotes. I replaced it with italics but bold would also do. This is just a simple suggestion in formatting. The sentence needs to be split in two nevertheless.
-For sentences 2 through 4, there was nothing that concerned me.
-For sentence 5 however, you said this.
-This is definitely a run-on with some other grammatical errors if you leave it like this.
-First fix, lose the parenthesis around "mostly women" along with that period.
-Add a comma before "mostly" and after "women".
-It is now, "People, mostly women, on social media think that going to extreme lengths to make themselves look like stars, is just "The Price of Beauty."
-You can see I eliminated Kylie Jenner and Kim Kardashian, but I do plan on adding them back in.
-"Stars that are commonly used as a standard include Kim Kardashian and Kylie Jenner."
-On the last line I do not think the colon was necessary. A comma maybe a better option, but that is up to you.
Paragraph 2:
-I do not have many comments on the second paragraph except for this...
-"all- natural" I do not think you meant to put a space in between the hyphen and natural.
-I can see that the caps at the end were to show emphasis but to me they shout, "Informal essay". Might I suggest switching to an undercase/bold combo in the future.
Paragraph 3:
-I did enjoy the last paragraph for a few reasons.
-Instead of pointing out all of these faults with society, you reassured the reader these qualities were not necessary.
-The last four sentences caught my eye, mostly because they were not sentences. Again, I saw the need for emphasis, but maybe you could find a way to combine them and keep the emphasis.
Personal Comments:
-Well, that is about all I have for this review. Sorry if it was a bit short, I have not reviewed very often in the past few weeks.
-I did like you article and it was inspiring/interesting.
Have a good day/night.
-lizzy