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Love is like a wreckless rollercoaster

by ivyLeonora


"Love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right."

There's an old poem by Neruda that I've always been in love with. This is also from one of the most poetic artists alive, Taylor Swift.

In the Neruda poem it says, "Love is so short, forgetting is so long." It's a line I've related to my saddest moments, when I needed to know someone felt exactly the same way as I did. And when we're trying to move on, the moments we always go back on aren't the mundane ones. They are the moments you saw that weren't really there, felt like stars aligning without any proof, saw your future before it happened, and then saw it slip away without any warning.

These moments are the new-found hope, extreme joy, intense passion, wistful thinking, and in some cases the unthinkable let downs.

And in my mind, everyone of these memories look the same to me. I see all of these moments in flashes. Experiences in love teach everyone the difficult lessons of crazy love.

The RED relationships. The ones that went from 0 to 100 miles per hour and then hit a wall and exploded. And it was awful. and ridiculous and desperate. And thrilling. And when the dust settled, it was something I'd never take back. Because there is something to be said about being so young and needing someone so badly, you jump in head first without looking.

And there's something to be learned about moving on and that real love shines like golden starlight, and doesn't fade or spontaneously combust.

Maybe I'll write a book about this love. But this love that is stuck on stupid, red and found in a hopeless place. The ones that explode like supernova.

The love I've fallen into.


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Sun Jul 28, 2013 4:33 pm
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ArcticMonkey wrote a review...



Hiya Ivy! Here to review you on this Review Day :)

What I liked about this was that you talked about love and you and I actually do like how you started off with a quote. Even if it's from someone I'm not too particularly fond of, I think that it was a good way to start off your piece. And I like how your ideas from then on are sort of linked to that too.

As for critiques, it's mainly that you've used a fair amount of cliche's in here, for example like love being a rollercoaster. I feel like I've heard this way too many times and I really didn't want to hear it again. Sure it's true, but I think you could come up with something more original than this, because we don''t wanna hear the same old same olds about love. Instead, why don't use a more personal metaphor about love to you. If you have any, you could draw on personal experiences to help you, and create some more imagery. I think this would work really well.

Overall, this was a sweet little piece and you've included some interesting points about love. It was pretty well written, but my main issue was the content that you were writing, and just try and stay away from cliches! You're more than capable of creating your own cliches ;). Sorry this wasn't very long, but I hope it helped! PM me if you have any questions or would like another review on anything.

Just keep writing!
-Arc x




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Sun Jul 28, 2013 3:47 am
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niteowl wrote a review...



Hi there, Ivy! Nite here to review this for Team Inc(red)ibles this fine Review Day.

Now, first off, the attribution at the beginning is confusing. It sounds like you're attributing the song quote to Neruda, which is obviously not true. Honestly, I'd cut the Taylor Swift quote, as it doesn't fit quite right here. Perhaps it would make more sense at the end? Also, I do like me some Taylor Swift, but I'd hardly consider her the most poetic artist alive. Such a bold statement is going to turn off 95% of people who read this.

Now some good stuff, I think the second paragraph is well-written. Although...I would argue that in the aftermath of a relationship, the mundane stuff does linger. You can't avoid every single little thing associated with that person, so you have to face it daily.

Towards the end, I'm starting to be convinced that this whole piece was a challenge to include as many Taylor Swift references as possible. But seriously, all the borrowed lines make it look like you can't come up with something original, when you seem more skilled than that. Bring in more of your experiences. Give the reader something that only you can give, as opposed to something that many teenagers could write.

Overall, I hope you continue to develop your writing skills, as there's some good stuff in here. Focus on bringing out your own experiences better. Keep writing! :)




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Sun Jul 14, 2013 10:07 am
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Legibletext wrote a review...



Nice work, love the analogies you used. I have to disagree with you about Taylor Swift though, I don't think she is that poetic haha. But that is just my personal opinion. Your punctuation was pretty spot on, so hats off to you for that. And I commend you on how you successfully tore apart a complicated subject and made it fairly comprehensive and interesting for readers to...read. Haha.

Good job, keep it up.




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Sun Jul 14, 2013 3:09 am
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I like the way you compared your kind of love to a speeding car that ended up as a tragic accident, well maybe not an accident. This touches me because it sounds like you have really experienced love and had been let down, emotions where everywhere. The part where it talks about being too young and desperate is something that I think all teenagers can relate to, this is very important in catching a reader's attention.I think that people would rather read something that they can agree to than read something that is very far from their views in life or their experiences. I also liked the way you worded the sentence so that it sounds like I'm actually talking to a real person not just the ink in dusty books. This is the perfect cautionary writing for first time lovers! You got a way with words!




ivyLeonora says...


thank you so much I appreciate this a lot.




There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.
— J.K. Rowling