z

Young Writers Society


16+ Language

Exsestential Crisis #1439

by itsmejr


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.


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27 Reviews


Points: 1513
Reviews: 27

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Fri Dec 06, 2019 3:46 pm
StudentAH says...



I actually came back here because I was curious about the title, #1439 . What is the significance? It piques my curiosity.



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itsmejr says...


no real significance. I just feel like I have so many in a day and this one I just happened to write down.



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27 Reviews


Points: 1513
Reviews: 27

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Mon Oct 28, 2019 1:50 pm
StudentAH wrote a review...



I absolutely love this poem. It uncovers the terrible truth that plagues so many young lives -- I have felt exactly this way and I can guarantee many of my friends have as well. It perfectly describes what its like to not be suicidal in a moment, but generally not want to live, yet living anyway for the sake of those around you.

It acknowledges every thought one should have and every thought one shouldn't, but still has anyway.

The formatting was a bit confusing to me, but I still enjoyed the poem.

The ending was perfect as well. An almost bittersweet ending where the narrator does not find happiness but rather a simple conclusion they already knew from the start: One that does not solve their feelings but rather redirects them as something that should be brushed to the side for the greater good, even if that "good" cannot be felt.



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itsmejr says...


It's nice to know that someone gets it and I'm not so alone with my feelings. Thank you for the review!



StudentAH says...


Of course, my friend. Stay strong and stay here on earth for us.



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212 Reviews


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Mon Oct 28, 2019 1:38 pm
EverLight wrote a review...



EverLight here with a review. This review is not intended to offend or hurt you or make your novel or poem seem bad, but be warned- you may feel offended anyway

First Impression
This made me cry. This seriously made me cry. I'm glad to have found another poet that's for certain. This was beautiful.

Nitpicks & Grammar
Your good here

Style & Flow
Just one thing-when you say-and there are so many beings who would kill to be in my position, I would remove the and, and the word beings so it would read more like this-

And there are so many who would kill to be in my position


Other then those issues, you did amazing. Keep up the good work!
EverLight Out



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itsmejr says...


Hello again! Thank you for the review! I wasn't so sure about that line either and I'll definitely take your advice to heart. Thank you for the encouragement!




A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea.
— Honore de Balzac