2 sides of 1 story

by irishfire

Published July 12, 2009

In Poems

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The haze blocks my view of the target

The mist obscures my vision of what's in front of me

Debris and smoke surround me

Quiet and cold envolpe me

My gun poised on top of the bunker

My hand clasped together in front of me

Guns fired; my friends and fellow soliders fall

Tears flow; seeing my family in front of me as they are

On the brink of death, caught in the war

Over the brink of tears, souls destroyed by the war

I fight for my country

I fight for my happiness

I love my country and my family

I love my family and I miss my family

Gladly salute those above me, do the mission I am given
Proud to be who I am

Tortured by what became of them
Proud they served us so

I am for the United States

They were for the United States

Comments & reviews · 2
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Young gun
Review
Young gun wrote a review Review · Jul 13, 2009

Nice poem there.But you still have great scope for improvement
I fight for my country



I fight for my happiness



I love my country and my family



I love my family and I miss my family

You have put too much repetition in these lines.You could probably put something like:

I fight for my beloved country and family

and just leave it like that.


The end seemed a little unfinished and abrupt.You could possibly add a few more lines to wrap up the poem.

That said,i liked the way you added the sad part of war in your poem and how it torments people.



The very worst use of time is to do very well what need not be done at all.
— Benjamin Tregoe