2 sides of 1 story

PreviousNext

The haze blocks my view of the target

The mist obscures my vision of what's in front of me

Debris and smoke surround me

Quiet and cold envolpe me

My gun poised on top of the bunker

My hand clasped together in front of me

Guns fired; my friends and fellow soliders fall

Tears flow; seeing my family in front of me as they are

On the brink of death, caught in the war

Over the brink of tears, souls destroyed by the war

I fight for my country

I fight for my happiness

I love my country and my family

I love my family and I miss my family

Gladly salute those above me, do the mission I am given
Proud to be who I am

Tortured by what became of them
Proud they served us so

I am for the United States

They were for the United States

Comments & reviews · 2
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

Random avatar
Young gun
Review

Nice poem there.But you still have great scope for improvement
I fight for my country



I fight for my happiness



I love my country and my family



I love my family and I miss my family

You have put too much repetition in these lines.You could probably put something like:

I fight for my beloved country and family

and just leave it like that.


The end seemed a little unfinished and abrupt.You could possibly add a few more lines to wrap up the poem.

That said,i liked the way you added the sad part of war in your poem and how it torments people.



Courage, my soul! Now learn to wield the weight of thine immortal shield...
— Andrew Marvell