Chapter 10 A MISSION AND A SACRIFICE
“Could it be that the great New Orleans fire is related to Aquarius’ story and that the fire was an attack on St Louis,” I asked Kat.
That question had bugged my mind from the start of Kat’s story. Some parts of her story didn’t make rational sense. Who was that man and how did Andres get himself into the office with the doors closed? Why did Aquarius even have that parcel? I knew from experience that such unexplainable events had no rational answers. The only answers that existed had to be supernatural.
“I really don’t know Aella,” Kat said wearily. “I’ve lived half of my life replaying that day in my mind. There are so many things that I can’t explain, so many coincidences that seem too much of a planned scenario. Did you know that that day was The Friday?”
That was yet another puzzle piece: The Friday.
“No,” I answered, “It is too much of a coincidence. That’s the day of the death of Kristos. It’s when the Nephilim and the Fallen feel like they are strong enough to take on Theos…’
“If there was to be an attack on the cathedral to free this Dramaticus thing then the forces of Dark would choose that day.” Charis said in realisation. “Can it be that the Great Fire was an actual attack?”
It was plain on their faces, the suspicion. I looked around the table from face to face and saw that no one needed Charis to ask the question that was clearly torturing their minds now.
“I am not certain of the connection with the Forsakers but I am sure that there’s more to that fire and Kat’s story than what it seems and Aquarius appears to be at the centre of it,” Hannora said, breaking the contemplative silence. “We only need to find out what and how.”
“Aquarius’ book, maybe it can help us find the answers we need.” Angelus said as he looked at me.
“I already thought of that,” I answered, “We need to get that book.”
“Yeah, but we don’t even know where Aquarius is, how are we going to get it?” Kat asked.
“I think I know where Aquarius is, and that’s probably where he has the book too,” I said as I got up from the chair. “Everyone get ready. We’ll be breaking into the Aurel manor.”
***
I was the last to emerge from the Metafora. My energio form floated in the night air before I materialised into my physical form. It was a week since the day Aquarius showed up at our history class. We had seven days of planning this mission, detailing it from the start to the end. Yet I knew that even years of planning could not rid us that the risks of infiltrating the Aurel manor.
The sounds of the Aurels’ Friday Night party could be heard from where we stood. I could see the huge black gates that marked the entrance to the grand manor. I was certain that the place would be crawling with Nephilim. The Aurel parties were truly part of the bargain Irina had with the Nephilim. The Nephilim fed on evil, becoming stronger anywhere evil ruled. In the Aurel Parties, lust and alcohol-induced violence ruled. So the Nephilim’s part of the bargain was as clear as daylight. I could not fathom what Irina had to get out of this though. I was always left perplexed.
I fell in a crouch next to Angelus, his blue eyes on me like a mother hawk’s on her young. Stretching myself up, I passed by him and stood in the middle of the circle that had formed spontaneously and out of habit. We had been on many missions and this was our usual protocol. At the centre of the circular formation, I turned my gaze around to look at the faces of my family, now my unit.
“Let us unite the circle of Theos,” I spoke authoritatively.
The Circle of Theos was a binding of the consciousness of each individual within the unit of Angeions. After the binding, each identity melted into one, providing a coordination of levels unheard of; coordination was an integral part of any successful mission.
Angelus stretched his hands to join Kat’s on his right and Hannora’s on the left. Charis completed the circle, joining Kat and Hannora’s hands. I closed my eyes in concentration as I cleared my mind of any distractions. I let my aura out and I could feel its energy encompass me. I knew that the rest had unleashed their auras too, ready to begin the union. Every invocation of an Angeions drew its power from the Rhema; the Circle of Theos was no exception. I felt the words of the Rhema beckoning at the back of my mind and I opened my mouth to begin the invocation.
“We that art many, have become one body in Kristos.
The Circle of Theos is the body of Kristos.
The Circle of Theos is the body of Kristos.
The Circle of Theos is the body of Kristos.”
I could feel the power around us: Theo’s presence had graced us. Slowly, I opened my eyes. We were floating in air, the others swirling in circles around me. I looked up above my head and saw the ball of white fire that signalled the presence of Theos. My consciousness was expanding, filling with emotions I was sure were not mine; the union had begun.
I cleared my mind of all personal thoughts and focused on the task ahead. I could not have anyone seeing the thoughts in my head which lately, for some odd reason, were predominantly on Nixon.
We floated in the air for minutes as the invocation progressed. Finally, the ball of white fire started to pulsate, fading slowly in the process: the union was complete. I could tell its completeness from all the emotions that were coming to me from the others. They were afraid for me. There was nothing we could do though. The only way to get more information on Aquarius was to have a spy within the Aurel manor. No one could deter me from my choice: I was going to be the spy.
I descended to the ground and the others followed. Theos’ embrace has gradually left us leaving a numbing emptiness. It was up to us now. Yet I knew that despite how alone we felt, He was always with us. And that gave me strength.
“We need not waste any time,” I whispered through the connection in our minds as I summoned my twin swords from the spiritual realm, “You know what you must do. Find the book, copy it and leave the manor immediately. Stay safe, light of Kristos guide you.”
I turned to leave quickly before my departure turned too emotional. A hand stopped me before I could. I turned round to meet teary blue eyes, a reflection of my own.
“Seven days and you are not back, we will tear down Aurel manor piece by piece until we find you.” Angelus said.
I knew he was serious and that he was speaking for the rest. I put my hand on his shoulder.
“It will not be seven days.” I smiled to ease the difficulty of the moment. I looked past Angelus to where Hannora, Charis and Kat stood. “I’ll miss you guys.”
I spun around quickly, tears stinging my eyes and leaped into the darkness.
***
I walked through the darkness, under the heavy cover of canopied trees. My feet fell on dry twigs and their twitching sound echoed throughout the short tract of forest. I could have walked more subtly if I wanted to, even as silent as the wind. But I didn’t. I wanted them to hear me, all the Fallen and Nephilim that patrolled the perimeter around the Aurel manor. I was sure that the front gate to the manor was heavily guarded. Most of the Nephilim guards had blended into the partying crowd. There was no way Angelus and the others could make it in undetected and so I had to create a distraction of sorts. And this forest was going to be the perfect venue for it.
The Aurel Forest as it was called, was a dense clump of tall trees on the east side of the manor. It formed a boundary to the grand house’s expansive compound. The forest was infamous for the supernatural here in New Orleans. It was probably where the Nephilim and Fallen resided freely.
“Miss,” I heard a voice call from behind me.
I wasn’t surprised. I had sensed the man’s movements several distances back. He probably thought he had snuck up on me and I was sure he didn't even know that I had recognised the scent of his Nephilim aura. I stopped in my tracks without sparing a glance behind. I could hear his footsteps approaching.
“Miss, could you turn around please.”
He probably thought I was a wandering party girl, easy target. But things would get messy here and that happened to be exactly what I wanted, I thought, grinning to myself. The sounds of his steps stopped and I prepared myself. He was going to attack.
I felt the wind shift in my ear and I knew he was moving fast towards me. I stood still momentarily then I leapt into the air, back flipping as I let my aura out and burst into flames. He whipped past me and before he had turned to seek me out I had summoned my blades. Guiding the blade with my aura, I threw it. It blurred through the air and lodged itself in his back. Then I propelled myself in the air and landed where the man knelt with my blade within his back. I drew it and his body exploded, crumbling into black smoke. The explosion had caused ripples in the air and I could feel the essence of his death like a cold stench in my nose. I was sure that I was not the only one who had felt the essence, the Nephilim and the Fallen must have too. They were probably on their way here. I buried my feet into the ground and fell to a crouching stance, baring my glowing twin swords in the air.
It was only seconds before the first Nephilim appeared between the trees a few metres in front. He did not hesitate but charged at me with his long barbed sword raised. I shifted my weight to the right and the sword flashed past me. Stepping to his side, I hit him with my blade's hilt squarely in the stomach. He doubled over, exposing his head to my second blade that clipped it off his shoulders with a clean cut. The head bounced on the ground as his body exploded into black smoke.
The second death had to attract more Nephilim and I didn't wait for long before other four appeared from all sides, converging in lightning quickness towards me. I did not tarry but charged at the one in front and left the other three pursuing me. I was upon him before a second’s span. He flashed his sword at my face carelessly: it was obvious that I had him off guard. I turned my head to the side and watched the tip of his blade swish past my eyes. Then I let myself fall to my back, sustaining my body in mid-air by my aura. Stretching out my foot, I kicked the sword out his hands and sent it flying squarely into the other Nephilim’s chest. I floated back into upright position and plunged my sword into the belly of the now unarmed attacker.
I had dispatched two in only seconds but there was still the other two. I drew my sword from flesh and spun around. In the briefest moment, I caught a glance of the two, moving towards me like two pillars of black smoke. I back flipped, returning my swords into the realm in mid-air before falling on my feet. The two had closed down on me before my feet had caught the ground, running straight into my waiting hands. With each hand closed around their necks, I immobilised them with my aura gaining me the few seconds I needed. I whispered into my cleared mind,
‘The voice of Kurios flashes forth flames of fire.’
The power of the Rhema ignited even before I had finished the invocation and the two Nephilim burst into blue flames that consumed them in seconds.
“We are in,” I heard Angelus’ voice whisper in my head as I caught my breath.
I emptied all thoughts in my head and focused on the circle’s connection. Staring sightlessly into the night, my vision became one with Angelus’. I was moving in between a confused crowd, loud music booming in the air. I turned my head to my side and saw the rest making headway to the front porch of the manor. I finally made through the partying teenagers and found Kat, Hannora and Charis waiting at the porch.
“Find the book, copy it and leave immediately. I’ll try to buy you some time,” I whispered into Angelus’ mind before severing the circle’s connection.
My vision returned to me and I quickly scanned around. I was surrounded, I realised. I lifted my eyes to them, numbering them subtly. I counted fifty, each baring a weapon against me. I smiled to myself in thought. This was going to be some distraction.
I bent into a crouch. From the moment I had started fighting I had restricted my aura and so was not in full strength. But circumstances called for a change and so I closed my eyes in concentration, opening the flood gates to my aura. Raw power rushed through my veins and as I looked at my blades, I saw that they had turned to white from their normal bluish glow. My aggressors had no knowledge of why I was named Aella but they were soon going to. I whispered the words of the Rhema in meditation.
‘Behold, the whirlwind of Kurios goes forth in fury, a continuing whirlwind; it shall fall with the pain upon the head of the wicked.’
I could feel the power of the Rhema subdue the forces of nature and the wind responded by bending to my will. I lifted my eyes to my assailants and opened my mouth to say the last words in the invocation that I wanted none of them to miss.
“I am Aella, the whirlwind of Kurios.”
Just then the wind gathered in swirls around me. I felt it whisk my feet off the ground and I began spinning at the dead centre of the gathering wind.
“Quickly, attack her before she becomes more powerful!” I heard a voice command in the distance.
The Nephilim attacked. I was moving so fast within the wind that I could see all their movements in slow motion. Of all the fifty who attacked, most were cut down by my wind before they even reached me. Those who did reach me met my swords even before they lifted their weapons. And the fight was over in seconds. I withdrew my aura to within myself and the winds slowly calmed down until I landed softly on my feet.
I was alone in the middle of a cleared ground. Broken branches and twigs were all that remained of the fight, with the bodies of the Nephilim now faded into black smoke.
I waited a while to see if more would emerge and as I tarried, precious time elapsed in inaction and silence. So I freed my aura and cast it out around me, only letting thin tendrils of it innervate the vicinity as I tried to subtly sense out other presences around me. My aura spread to about fifty metres into the tract of trees all around me. Just as I was about to deem the place threat free, my aura touched an essence, so cold and evil it recoiled.
Instinctively, I withdrew my aura to myself, wrapping it around me. Then I spun around and crossed my twin blades in a defensive stance. Just then, a ball of red energy flew at me from the trees and hit my crossed swords with such ferocity it threw me into the air. A tree broke my flight, shattering its trunk from the impact.
That was no ordinary attack, I thought to myself as I struggled to get up. Had I not blocked it, it would have hit my chest and that would have been another story. Only one being had such power and it was neither an Angeion nor a Nephilim. I had hardly stood up when another red energy ball flew towards me. Quickly, I gathered energy from my aura and formed a shield. Attack met shield and the shock from the impact reverberated violently but harmlessly through my swords. It did more to the surroundings though, incinerating the clump of trees beside me like they were made of tissue paper.
I closed my eyes and focused on my aurasight to expand the scope of my sight. Where he had once eluded my sight, I finally saw the Fallen. He was barely ten feet from me, in spirit form though. I realised that that was probably why I couldn’t see him before with my normal sight.
Knowing that he had lost the element of surprise, the creature blurred towards me, baring a jagged four inch thick blade. I tried to parry his sword but the elevation in it almost got my body chopped into two. So I resorted to ducking as he swung his blade again and it swished past my bent form. I back-flipped swiftly as his blade was flying in the opposite direction and then I sent an energy ball straight to his chest.
If my attack had any effect on the Fallen then it was to infuriate him even more. Reacting, he swung his sword in an arc releasing a rippling force that launched me off the ground and landed me on the ground with a heavy thud. I lay there, tired and weak. For the first time, giving up seemed so inviting...
“Aella, don’t you dare give up okay?” I heard a voice plead from within my mind.
“You are stronger than this sis,” another voice echoed. “The strength of Theos is within you, A,”
Suddenly, every nerve in my body was screaming that I had to go on. I planted my swords into the ground and pulled myself up. I could really use Gal-el’s help now, I thought to myself. My own weight seemed heavier than a planet. I knew that help wouldn’t be coming any time soon though and it was clear that I had to vanquish this one by myself. If there was ever a time for an offense then it had to be now.
With an offensive mind-set, it was easier to recall Gal-el’s lesson. If my weapons were to have any effect on the Fallen then I had to summon the power of Parakletos. I lifted up my eyes to the Fallen. I saw his smile; he was relishing in my defeat. I was only mortal yet he seemed so proud of the feat.
“You are no ordinary mortal, Kurios’ whirlwind,” the Fallen spoke as a manly grin spread across his face.
You will not be wearing that grin for long once I’m through with you, I thought it myself. I cleared my mind, meditating on the words of the Rhema.
‘You give me strength to attack my enemies,
And power to overcome their defences’
It was hardly a second before I felt strength flowing into my bones. I was healing and I could feel the warm embrace of Parakletos fill me up with power and confidence. My posture became steady and I crouched into a stance I did not know existed before.
The Fallen must have noticed the change in me: the grin on his face wiped clean, replaced by disbelief. Or was it fear? The presence of the pure essence of Parakletos struck fear into any evil. Whatever it was, it made him rash and careless, prompting him to bare his jagged sword and speed towards me with the hopes of executing his final killing blow.
With the power of Parakletos within me, every move of his became to me like an open book. I lifted my twin swords and guided the power of Parakletos into them, making them flare in white flames. Then I leapt towards the charging Fallen, closing in on him faster than light could. Determination met brute strength. I parried his attack with my left sword and the force of the impact rippled through the air, levelling a couple of trees around us.
With how powerful I felt, I wasn’t surprised when I hardly felt the impact of his blow. The Fallen could not make the same claim though; his sword hand recoiled chaotically from the shock throwing him off balance. Before he could regain his balance, I planted my foot in between his legs and spun to the left, severing his sword arm with my right sword just as my left clipped the tendons at his knees from the back. He fell to his knees, a blood curdling roar escaping his open throat.
Instincts crept in, coupled with near-death vigour; the Fallen unfolded his huge black wings and struck at me from the back. I back flipped into the air, swinging my swords apart to meet his striking wings. The twin blades sliced through flesh and bone and the Fallen roared even louder.
I sheathed my swords in mid-air and landed some distance behind him. Premature silence filled the air when the Fallen’s roar stopped abruptly. For a moment, I was startled. Then I felt him draw in a deep breath and my wonder became fear. It was clear what he wanted to do. But I wasn’t about to let him.
I sped towards him and clasped my hand around his neck before he could open his mouth. The pure touch of Parakletos on the Ones who Fell was fatal. My hands smouldered as they burnt into the Fallen’s skin. The essence of Parakletos was weakening his aura, gradually suppressing it until it finally extinguished. I cleared my mind as I summoned the power of Parakletos. Then I whispered,
‘Fallen, I charge you in the name of Kristos and by His power I commit thee to the flames of Gehenna!’
The ground opened up beneath us and the creature was engulfed by the red flames from the abyss. I turned around as the walls of the chasm joined. The essence of Parakletos was subsiding within me, probably a sign that the perilous part of this night had passed. My distraction had worked; Angelus and the others had to be in and out by now, with the copy of the book in hand of course. All I had to do now was wait for the Aurels. I had no doubt that they were going to show up any minute now, considering that I had already sensed their auras a while ago. They had witnessed this fight and something was telling me that their confidence levels were not going to be the same again.
Smiling, I walked a few steps to a patch of grass. Then I lowered myself and sat, waiting patiently for my would-be captors. I might as well be communicating with the others, I thought to myself as I closed my eyes in concentration, focusing on the circle’s mind.
“Are you okay Aella?” Kat’s voice echoed inside my mind. “We were so scared when you were fighting that Fallen. We thought you were going to...”
“Give up?” I asked.
“Yes...”
“I wanted to...It was so easy to just let go. But when I heard your voices, I had to fight on. I could not leave you... Thanks a lot for not letting me give up,” I confessed just as an essence tripped my aurasight. “I think I sense someone Kat.”
I focused my aura to my vicinity. It seemed that the Aurels were here.
“Have you found the book yet?” I asked quickly
“Not yet,” Hannora joined the conversation, her voice ringing in my head.
I looked through her eyes and saw Charis frantically opening drawers to an antique shelf in some sort of bedroom.
“You have to find it and duplicate it quickly then leave the manor. There is no time. The Aurels will be there soon...I’ll try to stall them for as long as I can.”
I severed the circle’s link and my own vision returned to me. I sat there, cross legged with eyes closed.
“Impressive display there, with the Fallen I mean,” a woman’s voiced echoed in the night.
I laughed sweetly before replying.
“I’m glad you liked it.”
“So, does Theos’ will involve storming into people’s homes and executing their servants these days? I thought he respected humans and their ‘bad’ choices...”
“I came here to find Aquarius,” I said, still sat with my eyes closed, “it was your Nephilim who attacked me.”
“And what makes you think that Aquarius resides in our most humble home?” Irina asked.
I could just visualise the sarcastic smirk on her face.
“Hmmm…I never thought of the answer to that question. But maybe I may just find out when I finally get to have a tête-a-tête with him.”
“I am in no mood for silly jokes, Aella. You were trespassing on Aurel manor. You are my prisoner now.”
I stood up slowly at the sound of that. Of course my plan was to be their prisoner, but I had promised to buy the others some time. Not that they couldn’t take on the Aurels if they were caught but some fights were best avoided. Besides, if we were going to be a step ahead of Aquarius then he had to remain ignorant of the fact that we had got access to the book’s information. So I let my aura out and burst into flames.
“You have to capture me first Irina,” I said, going into an offensive crouch as I summoned my twin swords from the spiritual realm.
“You may be the most powerful Angeion Aella but there are four of us.” Irina said just before Ganos, Mirena and Menactra appeared behind her from the cover of the trees. I already knew that they were there from repugnant essence of their tainted auras.
“Ummm, I only see three Angeions. What makes you number yourself among those who are a threat to me?” I asked, trying to taunt Irina to reveal her true nature.
It was always prudent to know what you were up against. Besides, I hated surprises.
“You’ll find out soon enough,” she answered.
The three Aurel siblings let out their auras, bursting into the red flames of their tainted auras. They were a feared force in the underworld, renowned for their brutal coordination. Any other opponent would be afraid of them. But I wasn’t.
“Capture me if you can,” I said, lowering myself into a crouch.
Mirena and Menactra launched simultaneous attacks, each from either side. The temptress twins had a reputation for their choice of weapons: Half-moon shaped blades, one for each hand. The weapons were excellent for close combat and had lightning quickness with the right technique. There were two pairs of these blades, forged from the blade their mother once wielded. It was said that with their blades in hand, the twins could shred a man in seconds.
I channelled energy into my twin blades then bared them in a defensive stance as I spun in between the attacking sisters. My swords met their blades, spinning so fast that I blocked their attacks simultaneously. But I had done more than block; the shock of the impact of their blades upon my swords pushed them back and sent them sliding on the ground. I brought my self into a stop, settling into and offensive crouch towards Ganos. Somehow, I knew that the first attack was but a failed distraction. Ganos’ attack would be the killing blow.
Seeing that her sisters were indisposed to create any diversion, Ganos decided to attack. He lifted his blade high above his head and charged towards me. I held my ground, using my aura sight to discern his attacking motion. He was upon me in second. I shifted my weight to my left foot, displacing my body slightly and his sword swished inches past my face. Ganos switched to sidestroke before his sword had fully completed the down swing. I leapt into the air, Ganos’ sword flying in motion beneath my feet. Then I let myself fall, landing on the sword.
Ganos inclined his head towards me, frustration plastered all over his face. He roared in anger and jerked his sword upwards trying to throw me off it. I flew higher into the air and landed on a branch. Quickly, I kicked on the branch and launched myself at him. Ganos had not anticipated my counter-attack and before he realised, I was already upon him. I lashed at him with both blades, stabbing into his left and right shoulders almost simultaneously. I detached from him with a flip to the front and landed behind him.
Pressing on with my attack, I swept him down with a low round kick. Then I straightened up and whirled around quickly to meet Mirena’s blade heading straight at my throat. I deflected it with my aura and caught her arm, spinning nimbly to her back before my right elbow found her backbone. With the blow so sharp it almost shattered her spine. Mirena fell to the ground her knees. I concentrated energy on my left palm and formed an energy ball just as Menactra approached me in retaliation to my attack on her sister. I ducked and her right blade flew over my head. I parried her left blade with my right sword then I planted the energy ball into her belly, throwing her off the ground with the discharge of energy. Then I spun around and faced Irina.
“It seems that your troops are indisposed. Now who is going to capture me?” I asked with a smile as my breath returned to me.
“A,” I heard Angelus’ voice in my head, “we’ve found the book. Hannora has copied it and we are now exiting the manor.”
“You underestimate my abilities Aella,” Irina answered.
She spread her arms apart and started chanting words in the Dark tongue.
“That’s great,” I spoke into the circle’s mind, “I need to sever the link now though. I have a...” I threw a momentary glance at Irina. Whirls of black smoke were forming in between her palms.
“...situation,” I completed my sentence.
“So you are a Graeae,” I said to her.
A Graeae was a human being who was not an Angeion but served the Dark and so they could manipulate its energy and also control the Fallen. I guess that explained how the Aurel siblings had blended their auras with energy from the Dark. She must have cast a spell to allow that.
“I have to go now Angelus. I will see you in a week. Use the book to find out the truth about what really happened to the Forsakers then we’ll be able to predict some details about Aquarius’ plan. I’ll try to learn everything that I can when I’m here.”
“Aella,” I heard Charis’ voice, “take care”
“I will,” I answered. “I...I love you all.”
I severed the circle’s link. This was it now; the time to hand myself in. Irina released her ball of black energy, sending it flying squarely towards my chest. Instinctively, I cleared my mind and the words of the Rhema came naturally to me…
‘No weapon formed against…’
I stopped myself in midsentence. I had to hand myself in, convincingly. I braced myself for the impact now that the words of the Rhema were incomplete. The energy ball soared in its collision course, finally meeting its destination. Sharp pain gripped my chest and I felt my body soaring into the air. Everything was fading around me. Suddenly, I had the urge to say something. My mind was collapsing yet that one thought lingered. My eyes were closing but still, the image tarried. My mouth was dry but the words came out.
“I….I…love you…Nixon.”
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Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
This is certainly a wonderful chapter! This is a good teaser to sell your book, as now I want to know what leads up to this and what this leads to. And I suddenly want to know more about this "Nixon" person. The chapter was packed with good action. With vivid descriptions of physical battle coordination and brilliant metaphors, everything was intense and easy to imagine. The action is fast, but not confusing (for the most part at least), and this is a difficult combination to pull off. There is obviously a lot of well thought out background to the story and to this world, and a culture, a society is there to contextualize the fights and make them more meaningful.
Sometimes I could vividly imagine Aella's sharingan following the movements of her many enemies (Naruto fan here, so this really excited me). Also, using blur as a verb in the fight scenes is excellent imagery, as the swift movements feel more real and visible. Overall it was a really good chapter, and it does sell your book well, as now I will definitely read the other chapter I see you've posted here, and maybe eventually buy your book!
Now for the not so fun part of the review. *sighs*
I've seen where you've written a number of times about people thinking to themselves. This is a little awkward and redundant, as it is the exception to NOT think to yourself. We already assume that thoughts are private, even in a world where telepathy is possible. You already make it clear when they are sharing thoughts, so that could be changed.
"I brought myself into a stop, settling into and offensive crouch towards Ganos." -- "And" should be "an" here.
"He was upon me in second." -- "second" here should "a second" or "seconds."
I saw a few more minor errors like these but I kinda forgot where they are exactly. One re-read should clear these up (one more, at least- it's evident you've gotten this edited already, as there are very few mistakes in it.)
I loved the chapter!
Keep writing and keep posting.
Adam-Clay.
Hey, Inspirus! You took my suggestion--submitting individual chapters.
); however, studying a slice enables me to focus on less significant aspects of your writing--style, grammar, all that fun stuff.
A little lengthy for a YWS submission, but that's understandable, considering the cost's been increased to a thousand points. I abhor spoilers (almost killed the person who told me Gandalf returned from the dead, but then again, who wouldn't?
So, where to begin...
This bears all the elements of a published work. Well-measured pace, well-balanced action, well-crafted descriptions. They left room open for interpretation and still succeeded in snaring my focus. If I saw this at Barnes & Nobles, I'd pick it up, most definitely.
I'm assuming this is from Aella's perspective?
I've got the terrible feeling that if I'd read this in chronological order, my jaw would've slammed into my chin. Is there any possible way to delete this sentence from my memory???
Needless to say, I've fallen in love with your style. Everything just flows so fluidly, like fluid. If I were to find one fault, it wouldn't be too obvious, but something you should definitely watch out for if you intend to sell this: redundancy.
Trick's to abridge your clauses: limit your use of prepositions and adverbs. Always see what you can cut out without affecting the meaning.
If a word's sole purpose is to make the clause sparkle, then the author should consider clipping it. "Rational" doesn't fit. I know this sounds really small, like I'm peeling apart the layers of this chapter just to find a minor mistake, but minor mistakes still qualify as mistakes.
I also found some paragraphs loaded with active voice. As in, one sentence structure was being copied multiple times over:
In each sentence, the subject "I" precedes a predicate. Try weaving in some passive voice, just to spice things up and direct the reader's attention away from the subject.
Those are my biggest nitpicks. The rest just pertain to grammar...
You probably don't want to hear me discuss grammar. I never like receiving reviews that only point out typos, or discuss the ink that faded at Page 2. They're just downright unhelpful. But readers can spot out grammar mistakes in a snap, and once they do, they blare as much as if highlighted. I'd recommend consulting a friend, YWSer, or adult; even the smallest errors matter. I read Amazon reviews in my spare time, and there's this edition of The Dragonriders of Pern that contains typos about every chapter, and every review complains about them. Same with Breaking Dawn (all reviews tear the book to shreds--it's epic). Typos, or grammar mistakes in this case, also hint that the author hasn't proofread thoroughly, and hasn't poured much dedication into the novel. Don't get worried; it's just a stereotype. Your writing is absolutely fabulous. It just puts readers off a bit.
That said, dialogue...Treat speaker's tags as if they're separate, but keep this lesson in mind: When a period concludes dialogue, but it's followed by a speaker's tag, then the period should be replaced with a comma, and the speaker's tag promptly uncapitalized.
Oh. The quantity of nitpicks exceeds the quantity of praise. That came out a bit backwards. But understand, I truly enjoyed reading this, and I can't imagine how great the whole novel will be! Apologies for the brutal attack
a wonderful review.
You gave me a lot to think about and well, there's always room for improvement. Anyway, I consider your praise much more exceeding than the 'brutal attack' and I am honoured. 
Thank you!