Published January 27, 2006
Oh, oh, oh
Perfectly flawless
In every regard
But your words cut
Like a shark tooth shard
Doesn't make any sense
It couldn't commence
'Cause it's false
You can't valse
How can you be beautiful
If you're really ugly?
Inside
It's what counts
Cooking, rolling in boys now
Ten years later
You won't care how
You got 'em all
You'll just sit and bawl
Will I be there?
Will I be there?
Hypocrite
You make me sick
Sitting there in your "Angel" shirt
While you cuss your head off
And smoke the dirt
All the boys
See you as a prize
Despise me
But you're the one who cries
And deep down you
Hate yourself
Stay on your shelf
Below the basement
Bitter resentment
It's the lowest one
I know it's not fun
How can you be beautiful
If you're really ugly?
Inside
It's what counts
Cooking, rolling in boys now
Ten years later
You won't care how
You got 'em all
You'll just sit and bawl
How do you know I'll be there?
How do you know I'll be there?
I can help you
If you let me
No
You just ridicule me
Well, that's not my problem
Guess it's yours
But I'll be here
When you realize your wrong
When you need a shoulder
Not the unforgiving ground
It's my obligation
From my observation
Oxymoron
Oxymoron
A self-contradict'ry statement
Oxymoron
Oxymoron
Ha ha, yeah
You're a moron, all right
How can you be perfect
When you're doing all these wrongs?
You can't
Don't hide
That's not what life's about
Tearing, bringing others down now
Ten years later
We won't care how
You cry and beg
So change your ways now
While I'm still here
While I'm still here
How can you be beautiful
If you're really ugly?
Inside
It's what counts
Cooking, rolling in boys now
Ten years later
You won't care how
You got 'em all
You'll just sit and bawl
And it's your fault
And it's your fault
It's your own doing
So why am I helping?
Should be laughing
But I'm aiding
'Guess that's what family's for
'Cause I'm here and there and
Everywhere and
'Guess that's what family's for
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141,445 Literary Works • 674,456 Reviews
<3'd it! I could really see the emotion in the verses. & once again, probably can at least somewhat guess what it's about. Diana, u really shud post some of ur stories and poems from our creative writing class up on here. I haven't got to read any of them, and I want to!
Yeah, it's like a pop rock for most of it, but it gets into a crazy, rocking-out guitar part at the "oxymoron" verse (or bridge? I don't know which you'd call it
--Di
it's nice!! Just one question. The words of this song sounds like it would be rock song. Is it a rock song? Anyways, i luv the part when you write oxymoron. Keep up the good work!
I pretty much liked this overall because its something that I can relate to. The fact that someone can get so much attention even though they shouldn't is a bad thing to deal with. I think I agree, your lyrics seem to become a little choppy in parts, I do think it could flow more than it did. I'm not sure of the person you are describing but the first thing I thought about when I was reading this was, "This makes me think of that bitch Christina that used to be my best friend." Harsh. But the truth. I felt and still feel like you are expressing in here. I liked this.
The valse thing doesnt work for me either. But you aren't to blame, false is a horrible rhyming word.
Great job.
Yes, "valse" was, at first, the only word I could find that rhymed with false, and I looked it up in Webster's and found the same definition you did. Then, I decided it did fit with the song because since a valse is a kind of waltz, which is a dance between TWO people, it would be like the person this song is about messing up the dance for the other person by behaving improperly. That's my reasoning on that.
-*-*--Diana--*-*-
P.S. Thank you for commenting!
Overall, I liked this. The first verse was kind of choppy, though. "You can't valse"? I looked that up. In Webster's it's a type of waltz, in American Heritage it doesn't exist. Could you please tell me what "valse" means, and perhaps find a better word there?
"But your words cut
Like a shark tooth shard"
This seemed kind of choppy and forced as well. Don't focus so much on the rhyming. Rhyming's nice, especially in a song, but if it sounds bad, don't use it. Of course, I can't hear the music, and it might work better with that.
How can you be beautiful
If you're really ugly?
Inside
It's what counts
Cooking, rolling in boys now
Ten years later
You won't care how
You got 'em all
You'll just sit and bawl
Will I be there?
Will I be there?
I really like this chorus, except for some things. Shouldn't the question mark come after "inside"? And "cooking" seems out of place. Think if there's a more accurate word for what you're trying to convey.
Hypocrite
You make me sick
Sitting there in your "Angel" shirt
While you cuss your head off
And smoke the dirt
All the boys
See you as a prize
Despise me
But you're the one who cries
And deep down you
Hate yourself
Stay on your shelf
Below the basement
Bitter resentment
It's the lowest one
I know it's not fun
"Despise me/But you're the one who cries" seems disjointed. Maybe it would sound better as "You despise me/But you cry/'Cause you hate yourself even more" or something like that.
Oxymoron
Oxymoron
A self-contradict'ry statement
Oxymoron
Oxymoron
Ha ha, yeah
You're a moron, all right
I really liked this. It's simple and fun and fits with the song. In fact, i might suggest changing the title to "Oxymoron" and making this the chorus. Okay, maybe not, but I still like it. *curses herself for not coming up with it*
Overall, it was good, could just use some tweaking. :thumb: