Published March 28, 2008
Far Off
far off in the distance
a little tiny farm...
a windmill, a barn, a farmhouse
in a peaceful, dismal fog
okay bear with me this poem is discription of one of my moms paintings
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It was too short for me. I mean, you should put more description into it. It was too simple. It was as though you were reading off a list "Here's the farm house, here's the windmill, a barn"
Look at the painting and make me imagine as though I was standing in front of it. Make me picture this photo. Show me as though I was standing under this dismal fog.
Umm, other than that, I really don't have any more advise other than Keep Writing!
Maybe we would get it a little more if you scanned the picture and posted it on here too. Other wise this feels fairly uninspired. It's kinda like, ok there is some description but no feeling behind it.
Atleast that's what I got from it.