Heartstrings

Wow.. it's so beautiful. It's one of those things that I really want to say in my mind, but I can't because I don't have the words for it. It gives me a dark aura, but it's compelling. I love it how you compared the person with a puppet. That's so cool. The ending is also a good part, the way you end it with a powerful question. You did a wonderful job!

Oh by the way, welcome to YWS! Keep writing.

This poem flows together beautifully. The way you described love was a little darker than usual, but that's my faviorite part. I think the title describes the whole poem really well. It's like he played her like a puppeteer plays a puppet. I can't wait to read more of your work.

This poem had great flow and beautiful rhythm. It was altogether great. It deserves a great review. it just gave me a sense of sorrow in the last two lines. It sounds like you offered your soul yet they still choose revenge. It is a common mistake to pour out your soul to someone who just wants to hurt you in exchange. This poem outlined that very issue beautifully. You chose a perfect name because in that sense you were kind of like a heartstring they had moved you like a puppeteer too hurt you..

Hello there Inks! Dogs here with your review today , well firstly welcome to YWS! I noticed that you're relatively new here, if you ever need a review or help or anything you can let me know and I'd be more than happy to comply. Anyways on to ze review, ok yes you use a cliche topic to write about, but you use an excellent metaphor/simile to anchor it into that it makes it not cliche. Excellent job there, I love the entire puppet metaphor. You use some excellent vocab which leads to wondrous imagery so great job in that regard.

"Of what your actions do"

Tiny nit picky thing here, but say "what your actions will do," just for the purpose of smooth flow. Also put a period after "do." So that you separate this thought from the next sentence. That'll just alleviate any confusion the reader may have.

"welts in my red flesh"

Just loved the imagery here, I do enjoy reading poems with excellent imagery. So your poem is quite fun to read .

"I apologize"

Just for the sake of shortening up things and cutting out words whenever possible, try saying: "I'm sorry"

"But I just bared my soul to you"

Minor thing again, maybe try to use a different word to convey the fact that you just "gave" your soul away to your ex lover. Whatever works for you.

Loved the ending, way to bring this piece to good closure. On a quick side note, I think that you shouldn't capitalize the beginning of every line in your poetry. That is, for me at least, I think it's far more visually stimulating to see more variety in the shapes of lower case and capitalized letters, not sure why. All and all a good piece just in need of a few minor touch ups, I loved the imagery. Let me know if you ever need a review. Keep up the good work!

TuckEr EllsworTh