Bus Ride Home
Every other day is just like today,
I step on the bus and pay for the ride,
Walk to the back and sit down on the left,
Right by the window and wait.
-
Expecting to see...
-
The different boxes of red,white or black,
Maybe also others but I don’t really care.
It doesn’t make a difference in the end
The fumes still come out and it’s just a ride.
-
People scattering and walking back home
Or going to grandma or grandpa, you know
With children smiling
and shops being closed.
-
Looking through the window, cars are passing by yet there’s nothing I notice but....
-
Ginger, messy hair frames that pale face,
Sprinkled with strawberry seeds
Suffocating with powder, concealing their peel.
But none of this matters,
She’s thin.
-
High cheekbones, glorious smile
Crazy hair, short but fun
Her eyes shout cheeky and glitter with spark
But none of this matters,
She’s thin.
-
Long haired beauty with seductive charm,
An attitude explosion with boys on their knees
She dances in fireworks
But none of this matters,
She’s thin.
-
Then I face forward and down to my lap
Are my tights wider than the width of the seat?
I look to my left, there’s a girl next to me
Is she thinner than me?
-
Then I plan the following day
Without bread or sugary bliss
With just water, that’s a necessity I guess
Then I look out of the window again.
-
Every other day is just like today,
I step on the bus and pay for the ride
Walk to the back and sit down on the left
Right by the window and wait,
Hoping to see...
Anything but this.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,637 Literary Works • 673,574 Reviews
Awesome poem.
Review deleted due to being a copy of another's review.
This reminds me of tumblr poetry -- both good and bad things, in my opinion. Your writing is clearly emotive but conveys it using subtle passion and frustration; balancing that is very hard to do, so kudos to you. On the other hand, it is a topic that has been written about extensively; I understand that that's because of the sad reality that insecurity affects us all, but I believe that when talking about such a widely known issue, unique writing techniques help make it stand out. That unique touch is what's missing for me.
Other than that, it's an enjoyable read. Keep writing!
Shape and size does not matter!!! It's what's on the inside that matters, and you seem like a great and talented person!!!! Let those Girls be thin and popular, it's the only thing they have. You have so much more than they have. Be Confident in yourself and stop thinking about the outside. You are beutiful.
Relative. TOTALLY. Cool work.
Thank you
Just to start off, this is a great poem, I really enjoyed reading it. It's always really fun to read a poem that has a persona in it. A character, someone you either created, or based off of yourself or another person.
It actually brought to mind a song that has a similar message, it's called The Motions by Matthew West. There's this one part of the song that sounds a bit like your poem:
"‘Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life
‘Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without your all consuming passion inside of me"
The whole message of the song is to not go around doing everything like a mindless drone, just "going through the motions". The part of your poem that reminded me of that song is
"Every other day is just like today,
I step on the bus and pay for the ride,
Walk to the back and sit down on the left,
Right by the window and wait.
Expecting to see..."
I love the message your poem brought, and I think you did a brilliant job of carrying it out. Great job! Can't wait to see what else you can do!
Thank you for the review
I'm glad you liked the poem.