“Is this you?”
My eyes widened in horror.
“Paris, where are your uniform shoes!”
“Why are you late? Stand up at the back of the class!”
“Paris? Paris! If you want to sleep, do it at home!”
She didn’t say any of that and it’s the first time she’s ever asked me anything nicely and quietly, which is why I knew I was in trouble.
I pretended to squint at the photo in front of me, which was pretty pointless considering Miss Ready had shoved it under my nose. I calculated an excuse inside my head,
“Um...” I paused, pursing my lips.
Suddenly everyone else in class had a lot of work to do, shuffling papers on their desks, heads down, pens moving without actually writing anything... cowards.
The photo didn’t really need the long examination I was giving, but I was pushing it. Inside the frame were two high school girls, a tall blonde with her back to the camera and a short brunette with her head turned, showing only the left side of her face.
Both girls had bottles of liquor in each hand and though the background was dark anyone from Melville High could tell that it was the school field.
Anyone could tell that it was a party as there were heaps of students in the background drinking and dancing.
Which means that everybody in class could tell it was me in the photo.
“Nope, it’s not me.” I squeaked.
A depressing atmosphere of defeat descended all around me as everyone cringed at the tone of my voice. I might as well have said, ‘I’m lying’.
Miss Ready’s eyes narrowed as the thin line that formed her lips turned up in one end. The closest thing to a smile she’d ever have.
“If this isn’t you,” she began, eyes gleaming in victory, “then why does this person have your necklace-“
Another cringe from the class as I immediately ducked my chin to conceal the gold chain pendant my grandma bequeathed me two weeks ago, plain as day around my neck.
“It’s actually a really funny story,” I rushed with a forced a smile,
“I lost my necklace yesterday when I left it in class-”
“Oh? Then why is this person wearing it?”
Miss Ready’s eyes sparkled darkly, fingers coiled around the photo like claws of a vulture around its prey.
“Maybe this girl was borrowing- stole it? “ I finished, lamely.
A few of the girls next to me smacked their faces into their palms with an audible groan.
“So how did you get it back?” Miss Ready snarled, her chin inching higher with her eyes practically glowing red.
Silence filled the room.
“That’s a very good question...” I complimented, as my eyes wondered off studying the ceiling.
I’m screwed!
“I know.” Isa pitched in with her hand raised, her warm brown eyes helpful and innocent.
I’m saved!
“Miss Ready, it might be Angela. She borrows stuff all the time without asking and leaves it everywhere.” She rolled her eyes, exaggerating her pretence a bit.
“Everyone knows she does it, right guys?” She asked, gesturing all around her.
A mummer of approval hummed within the class, along with a few relieved sighs.
Isa beamed at the support. I could almost cry with relief.
“So? There you go. Angela must’ve-“
“That’s a very nice hair colour you have there, Isa.” Miss Ready purred, as one of her claws stroked the blonde girl in the photo. Isa and I paled.
Though the girl in the photo was definitely not Isa, blonde hair is blonde hair and it was clear in Miss Ready’s beady eyes that Isa is suspect number two.
What made it worse was that the actual girl in the photo was sitting in class and we all know she’d rather die than admit it was her. Teacher’s Pet code 101: Never vouch for anybody.
Isa threw a glance in Tweedy-bird’s direction, as Tweedy tucked a strand of her short blonde hair behind an ear as if the topic didn’t concern her. Isa panicked as she realised the Tweedy code.
“Oh Miss! You don’t really think it’s me do you?” Isa whimpered,
“Of course I do!” Miss Ready growled, the polite facade finally gone.
Isa gasped, her eyes watering.
Poor girl’s never been in trouble since kindergarten, but when she finally does it’s when she stands up for a friend and for something she didn’t do.
I seriously can’t let her take the fall for this.
“But it wasn’t me! “ Isa protested, desperately,
“Silence!” Miss Ready spat, quite literally, on my left cheek. I removed the objection with the back of my hand and on the back of my skirt.
“Now! Either both of you tell me exactly who was behind this and the students involved or so help me the entire class will stay behind with you cleaning up that mess of a field!”
Protests and outraged shouts burst all over the class.
“What! That’s not fair!”
“I had nothing to do with it!”
“Why do we get punished as well?!”
Isa and I both watched in silence as Miss Ready stared us down. Tweedy bird flicked another invisible strand of hair behind her ear and battered her lashes.
“Why Miss Ready, you don’t mean me do you-“ she began,
“The ‘whole class’ means the ‘whole class’ Miss Scarlet.” Miss Ready snapped for the first time to her ‘precious’.
Tweed’s eyes widened as her face turned a beautiful shade of humiliation.
Some of the class quietened down for a bit to enjoy Tweed’s first little growl, no doubt being one of her tell-tale victims. A few sniggers and a couple of gleeful smiles were inevitable.
“I’m waiting...” Miss Ready threatened, eye on her watch. Returning the class back to its’ doomed atmosphere. My knees suddenly felt weak.
I peeked at Isa’s watering eyes and sighed heavily.
No battles won this time. I stood up, willing my knees to stop shaking.
“Yeah... Um actually it was-“
“Me.” A deep voice replied.
The whole class turned towards the boy who spoke while I clutched my chest, sighing with relief and counted my lucky stars. One more detention and I’m pretty sure I’d be a goner.
“Thank you Santa, the Easter bunny, chocolate goddess and-“
Isa grabbed my chin and jerked it upwards, forcing me to look at the scene. Just in time to watch Miss Ready stalk toward my saviour with claws poised to butcher...
My saviour who just happened to be Nea Arteton.
It took me a couple of blinks to make sure I wasn’t making this up.
But I’d imagined him doing something like this so many times I couldn’t be sure.
The class was equally shocked, some of the girls looking absolutely outraged.
Isa’s face looked like she’d left her brain at home, although mine probably looked similar, if not worse... Somebody pinch me.
Miss Ready’s horns were starting to show.
“Oh! Now is that right? Any more friends of Paris Ronan volunteering for detention?” Miss Ready thundered, gesturing around the room.
I shrunk at the reaction, either I don’t have friends (anymore) or Miss Ready is really off-her-head today.
I stared guiltily at Nea and almost whined.
It would be pretty depressing if the only time Nea and I were alone together was at Detention. He didn’t look back at me. His narrowed eyes were only for Miss Ready.
“Based on what little evidence you have, why accuse all of Paris’ friends?” Nea asks innocently, Miss Ready sucked in a breath.
“I didn’t say all of th-“
“But you only said ‘friends of Paris’ right?” Nea confirms, smile brewing behind the surface. Miss Ready’s face went purple, while Nea’s friends cheered silently behind her back.
Isa’s mouth shut with an audible snap.
“Right! Are we gonna have a problem Mr Arteton?” Miss Ready asked.
“So far you’re the only one with the problem, Miss Ready.” Nea replied, tiredly.
Okay. So I’m not dreaming then, as I watched Miss Ready still trying to stare Nea down, her hands itching for violence.
“I’m pretty sure there were others at the party outside of this class that-“
“Perhaps I can help, Miss Ready.”
Everyone groaned as Tweedy raised her hand, her pride unfortunately back in place after the short fall out. Miss Ready smiled.
“Yes my dear?” Miss Ready cooed as we all glared at Tweedy.
“She recovers fast.” Isa mumbled, so that only Tweedy heard,
“Cold-blooded reflexes.” I mumbled back, with the grace of seeing Tweed turn her head and glare at us. She tapped her iphone a couple of times and offered it to Miss Ready,
“I found something interesting-"
"Snitch" someone sneezed, as a few of his mates laughed. Tweedy's eyes narrowed.
"Miss ready, I found something interesting... on facebook.”
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
“QUIET!” Miss Ready screeched as the class cried their hearts out.
After months of hiding it, being sneaky about it and letting them misinterpret it...
facebook has finally been introduced to a teacher.
This is bad, reeeeally bad.
Especially because the only student that posts absolutely everything and anything about our covert activities after class out of the entire school was-
Thirty nine pairs of eyes looked at me, each pair with the glaring hot intensity of the sun.
Whhhhhy?!!!!!!!
NEXT CHAPTER
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IP address:
Canary word: Present
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138,503 Literary Works • 672,144 Reviews
Hello there.
Since that's the end of the sentence, change that to a period.
Don't have Steve Jobs roll in his grave! Change it to iPhone.
1. Miss Ready*
2. Now you'll send Zuckerburg into an early grave. Facebook*
A definite better replacement could be "Why me?!". Watch those punctuation marks. One is plenty.
Alright, so this is very interesting! I look forward to reading the next part!
Keep on writing and BLACK PLAGUE FOREVER.
~Iggy
Hello there, I would like to congratulate you for being my first YWS review ever!!! YAYY
I thought it was very good and it caught my interest entirely. I liked the name choices a lot and I loved how they were unique and fun, but; I did not think Nea was the best choice for the guy in the story. Even though you said Nea was a guy, I thought that it sounded a little more like a girls name.Otherwise I thought it was very funny. Also I think it totally captures the aspect of a teenager and her friends reactions to getting caught doing what they are not suppose to do. I loved it and I hope you keep going with the story. Also is there a little love connection between Nea and Paris? I didn't quite get what their relationship was.
Keep on writing!!!!!!
HI! You are my first, "back to YWS" review!
So, I liked it. I find it quite interesting, but I do have some advice, that might just help your story a bit.
The main advice would be the first thing that I noticed: the naming. Now, I don't really want to tell you what to name your characters or that the names like "Nea" or "Tweedy" cannot be used, but I think that you might want to change the "Ms. Ready" at least. And then the "Tweedy" could be the next to change. I mean, as a writer I have learned that names are seriously important, and when you have a character like Tweedy the person doesn't necessarily see her as evil as she is with her name. Her name is more of a fun/funny name which makes the reader see more positive things, and that might be confusing.
My other advice would be to not use all caps, although it gets your point across with entertainment, it isn't really formal writing, but with that said, if you don't do that a lot, I don't think it matters too much, but just remember that in a novel it would be rare to have an all caps "noooooo" but I liked that aspect, and would find it cool if a novel actually had that.
Another advice would be to not go into the extremes, I know this is a novel, and you have started the story already, but just try not to make one persons personality go to an extreme, but I mean, it's your story, but I suggest making it really realistic. (but I get the humor)
On the positive parts, I like how you are funny, and simple, and make your main character (which I would guess is Paris) relate-able and 'just a girl'.
I hope you keep writing, and of course,
Keep dreaming!
Ok, so this was different, refreshing and good..I liked it.
You had written it in kinda free style, a unique voice which was really entertaining. I know, just stating a fact that many people wouldn't like it for it does not come in the shell of the type of stories or chapters which are written but it's cool, so good luck!
Keep up the good work!
I thought it was fantastic! I laughed when I read it, especially at the last few sentences and the "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" part! Your story was gripping from the start and kept me hooked in and left me craving for more. You created a tense but humorous atmosphere really well and took me right back to school again. It was very enjoyable. I really like it. I cannot wait for the next chapter to come out.
Wow
I like werry much becouse i was in same place as Paris 1 time 
, but my friends saved me 
I think this sentence will tell you how much I like this story:HURRY UP WIHT 2ND CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S: That NOOOOOO is great
2nd chapters already finished however I won't post it till I'm at least five chapters ahead- So I never get stuck.
So far I'm up to the third one, so it'll probably be released next month
I'm glad you like it and I'm also glad your friends we're able to save you, lol
I like this...its very unique. A story about facebook? Nice :L I didn't really like the Social Network movie but this is really good. Continue it please !
I will stay tuned :L
Also I like this part for some reason:
I’m screwed!
“I know.” Isa pitched in with her hand raised, her warm brown eyes helpful and innocent.
I’m saved!
It's very catchy for some reason unknown but its just my mind :L
Well done and keep up the good work :L
I really like this! it's funny and not once was i bored. i'd like to see what happens to Paris and Nea in detention. have you written a second chapter? i'd love to read it!
I love it! Especially the fact that the NOOO.... goes all the way of the page. Whether that's intentional or not, it's a wonderful little addition to the story.
Okay, back the to reviewing. It's much easier to review something bad than something good, so thanks for making my job very difficult.
The only negative that I really have is that the start is a little bit confusing. I had to go back and read it a couple of times before it made sense. It did in the end, but it was really, the only thing which I didn't love about your story.
I think you managed to create the feeling of a classroom very well, with all the characters, and how they relate to each other - I could tell that the characters were quite familiar with each other - it felt very realistic. Very clever humour, especially with the teacher discovering Facebook.
You had a few very minor typos, but an awesome first chapter, which left me wanting to know what happens next. Well done!