Nothing to Forget

Hi! I'll be reviewing your poem today
This is a really nice piece, i like the simplicity and idea of your poem.

However you need to check over your grammar here. You don't need to add a capital at the beginning of each sentence if its still part of the sentence, only if you're starting something new. You could also split up you poem into stanzas or quatrains, its easier to follow and better presented.

I'd have liked to see more imagery, description, emotion and feeling into this. With poetry we have to be empathetic of what the character in your poem is going through, you should put the passion of how uncertain this person is and how it's driving them insane, how confused they are about everything, why this person makes them feel the way they do etc you get the idea right?

It also might have the tendency to get a bit prose-y so definitely add more imagery and descriptiom to it. Your poem also seems a bit unfinished, the closing line should be something that leaves the reader with thoughts buzzing. Just expand more on it.

"I stayed awake hoping for a solid confirmation
You gave me a pile of words,
Sprinkled with sugar, dusted with uncertainty."

This was my favourite part of your poem, this stanza you can work with, i love the last line of it in particular, well done with that.

Overall good poem, it has a lot of potential just work on it and edit it.
hope i was of help to you, if you want or need another review you can message me or something


-Infinity x

Hey.That is a nice poem. I like your word choice. It would have been better if you had separated the stanzas. It looks like a text. Nice...

Hey imallme, welcome to the site! Well this was okay, but could really improve with some pretty simple fixes. Your grammar (more specifically, your punctuation choices) disrupted the flow and made it not quite make sense. The first sentence, for example, should have a period at the end. The line that ends with "there" should also end with either a period or (I would recommend) a semicolon. Same with the line that ends with "down." Looking at this poem in bulk, I'd say that it's just a little bare. You have a skeleton right now that lacks a lot of meat. Give us more to feed off of, so that we can feel some sort of investment emotionally, and you'll have more luck. I also think that details would help explain the story a little more, because as is, I feel as though it's a little vague.

My advise would be to put more into this - more detail, more emotion, more imagery. MORE! In any case, there's definitely room for improvement, but this isn't a bad poem. Any questions, feel free to message me, and again welcome to YWS!